Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents - With Dr Lindsay C. Gibson

Childhood trauma may include having a parent or caregiver that does not have the capacity to feel outside of their own experience. Growing up with a parent that is emotionally immature is heartbreaking, frustrating and devastating all at the same time. Dr. Gibson puts language to what many of us have felt but could not verbalize.

Dr. Gibson has been a psychologist for over thirty years, working in both public and private practice. In the past, she has served as an adjunct assistant professor in Clinical Psychology, teaching doctoral students clinical theory and psychotherapeutic techniques. Dr. Gibson is the author of four books: Who You Were Meant to Be, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents and Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self & Live With Confidence. Lindsay’s book “ Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents” prompted me to reach out to her to ask her more.

#emotional #immature #parenting #relationaltrauma #relationship #family #trauma #healing #selfcare #boundaries #support #safety #mentalhealth #wellness #traumainformed #narcissist #selfcare #selfregulation #anxiety

[ragacats]

My father summed it up telling me my problem is that I’m just not loveable. My mother agreed. I was 45 years old and had spent years in therapy. In that moment I realized two things- I am more mature than either of my parents. And neither of them really know what love is.

[lynny]

On the outside my parents looked normal but behind closed doors I was being raised by forever 4 yr olds. By the time I was 10 I knew I was more mature than them but yet I was trapped being dictated to by 4 yr olds. I am 56 yrs old and its amazing I am functional at all.

[zoniemom]

I was raised by emotionally immature parents and when I had my own child, I panicked. I realized I was a total mess: anxious and emotionally immature and still am immature. I've been in therapy for years, dealing with my anxiety and learning how to be a better mom, but I have to say, it's a constant growth opportunity for me. I regularly come across things with my own child that stump me. I just had no roadmap on how to 'adult' and I've been working hard to learn it on my own as I go. Dr. Gibson is a beacon!

[sarahcouture]

Omg so relatable with how the child has to never rock the boat, or the stressed out parent quickly becomes all high strung and stiff. The parentified child learns to people please to stay safe. So that's where my fawn- type personality originated.

[Discovering_Hope]

Mother said to me, "We knew how to get you to do anything we wanted...just ignore you, ." Neither of my parents should ever have had children. Their children were there to do their bidding...to serve them. I was extremely parentified. This video brought up a lot of pain. But I'm thankful that someone could put my childhood into words.

[nothingijustlikeyou]

I see so much advice nowadays saying “Stop blaming your parents for your flaws and trauma.” I can see how blame can hold you back, but isn’t it good to recognize where trauma came from? I’m so confused

[sharonstandridge]

Both of my parents come from homes with abusive mother figures and kind/loving fathers with their own issues (one was an active alcoholic, and the other was gone working all the time). Unfortunately, this rings so true. My parents love me and would charge into hell with a water pistol for me, but I never knew which parent I was getting. Kind and funny Daddy or vicious and scary Daddy? Happy and sweet Mama or angry and manipulative Mama? Hurt people hurt people, I know, but it's just... I shouldn't have been the family counselor at 6, 7, 8 years old. I shouldn't have had to be the one to say, "Wait wait wait. There's other possible reasons for them doing that. Let's not jump to conclusions without any information, " or "Be patient with the drive through attendants at Burger King. They're trying their best. Smile at them instead, " or "Please don't talk about my sister like that. Not to me."

I bawled through this whole video while my normal as apple pie husband stroked my back. Thank you so much. I finally feel -seen-.

[theshiftmastersessions]

Great conversation. As a therapist the Emotionally Immature Parent is the bible. Dr. Gibson is a national treasure.

[barbarahall]

Healing ❤️‍🩹 continues until your last breath. Thank God for YouTube & Dr. Lindsey for her body of work. I still cry & grieve at 62 b/c I never had healthy relationships with my parents. 😢. Still hurts.

[Ocieandme]

Typing through my tears... An ENORMOUS bubble of emotion just came up in me as I listened to Dr. Gibson talk about the Still Face Experiment and how an infant actively tries to reengage their mother. Obviously I cannot remember my infancy, but this had to have happened to me. I had to have buried it deep in my subconscious to have this strong of a reaction to hearing Dr, Gibson's words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for conducting and posting the interview. The more I clean out of my subconscious, the better! <3

[wk]

I always imagine in my mind how I’m going to nicely say whatever I know my mother in law will not be agreeable to, but when I state it, she always responds different than how I practiced in my head that it might turn out. She can never accept anything other than what she wants of me. I think she thinks I was born for her to control. Once I started just not being afraid of her, and told her frankly and firmly what I was going to do or not do, she started getting quiet and not arguing as much. I know she takes her anger to others about me not giving into every desire she has, now rather than to me, because she can’t control me. The older I’ve gotten I feel proud of myself to not let myself be controlled by her. She leaves me alone for the most part now and is focused on others. Once a month she’ll reach out to see if she can start something new but I’ve made myself unavailable. It’s sad because I truly love her and always wanted a close relationship with her but it was only close on her terms if I believed exactly like her And she could intimidate me to always be submissive to her every whim. After 30 years I’m over it.

[heatherwall]

Takes a long time to take personal responsibility for our OWN happiness….regardless of others. We are all responsible for our own inner world. We are not here to please others.🙏💙

[Freefolkcreate]

It reminds me of a Disney movie where someone was described as emotionally constipated. That's been my experience. It never goes anywhere and it's like hanging out in a kiddie pool when you want to dive in and see and express much more than the veneer of life.

[LizzPaintz]

Stonewalling to avoid facing shame and mortification is narcissistic behavior.

[malamoj]

This video has made me cry. But it also has given me so much peace and soothing. Thanks so much.

[DidiLassen]

I think it goes from generation to generation.. Not being comfortable with closeness.. Closeness is a natural urge but we are also social beings internalizing the values and patterns of our family... I have longed for closeness my whole life but at the same time I have avoided it... Very sad.. A deep routed longing and fear of closeness.

[viviane_casella]

The best way to manage the relationship to them: zero contact.

[BabyBoomerChannel]

How about a follow up book, “Spouses of the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature People”?

[AnyPerson-mype]

Makes me so sad. NO, NPD do NOT change. If they reach out about estrangement, it's only that they want their supply back not because they finally acknowledged the damage they did to warrant it.

[theotherpen]

This... Literally explained ALL of my problems I felt growing up and am still dealing with now.

THANK GOD for the Internet and people like Lindsay

Even the fact I had KIDNEY issues (water) and the fact of being "dried up" just worked eat too well