126 Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents talks about self-care in regards to self-confidence, security, self-connection, self-awareness and emotional self-protection. She talks about how being an adult child impacts a person’s choices and behaviors in relationships. She also talks about how sensitivity can affect a person’s functioning in these areas.

GUEST

Lindsay Gibson, PsyD.

HIGHLIGHTS

Here are some of the questions Dr. Gibson responds to:

Tell us about your most recent book Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Why did you write this book?

The book has three main sections: what are they, and what can readers expect to get from each topic? Why might adult children of emotionally immature parents (ACEIPs )find these topics especially meaningful?

How do you see sensitivity as a trait possibly affecting a person's functioning in these areas?

Do you see a connection between sensitivity and an ACEIPs feelings of security and self-confidence?

You've mentioned that ACEIPs have been taught not to trust themselves or their self-awareness. Could you talk about this a bit more?

In the book you've talked about the importance of emotional self-protection. Can you explain what that means exactly?

You talk about the crucial importance of a person's inner self-connection. Why do you make that idea such a central focus?

How do these issues affect a person's choices and behaviors in relationship?

GUEST BIO

Lindsay Gibson, PsyD. has been a licensed clinical psychologist for over thirty years and specializes in individual adult psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is the author of four books. Her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents remains a #1 Amazon Best Seller. The follow up to this book is Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents, and the 2nd edition of her first book Who You Were Meant To Be has been recently released on Amazon. Her latest book, Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, was just released in September 2021. In the past Dr. Gibson has served as an adjunct assistant professor teaching doctoral psychology students, and she writes a monthly Well-Being column for Tidewater Women magazine in Virginia Beach, VA.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).

LINKS

Dr. Gibson’s links:


Patricia’s links:







Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive

[janiemiller]

Truth… felt neglected, ignored, not guided or taught much of anything but to fend for myself..
Now I get berated because I didn’t make perfect choices in life.
I’m finally detaching & veering away from parents now, in my 50s

[perspectives-ff]

people without empathy want u to see how powerful they are, loving people want u to see how powerful u r

[janehale]

She simply explains my whole childhood to me, why i react the way i do, and she helps me realise that I matter too.

[silviagemelli]

As a highly sensitive daughter of an emotionally immature mother myself I found your interview very useful for my healing journey 🎁 thank you Patricia !

[lcook]

This information has been so interesting. What a shame we older adults (children of the 60's and 70's) didn't have this information or the internet back then. What we could have learned! I grew up surrounded by adults for whom I had to take care of their emotional needs. Mom wasn't really one of them, at least not when I was very young. She put me in that role soon enough though and I never even realized it until recently. Always felt honored that I was so "mature" and my mom and I were "friends" etc. Just didn't realize I was being set up to be the parent. I felt like everyone's parent or at least knew I had to behave a certain way to survive. The walking on eggshells thing was ever present when dad was around - and that was for all of us.

Grew up and had no idea who I was, what I could be, what I even wanted or liked. Took me until my 30's and 40's to start even thinking about my identity. Then by my 50's, after losing a job and finding an even better one, it started clicking. Now in my early 60's I get it. In first marriage, hubby asked me what I wanted to do with my life (in the context of he was going to school to better himself and I was just working at work, working at home, taking care of him and everything else). I just broke down crying. The reaction shocked me. Why was I crying? I had no idea who I was or what I wanted, or that it was okay for me to want.

[nelhanratty]

“… to allow themselves to be eclipsed … emotionally coerced through shame and guilt” Absolutely nailed it.

[dawntreader]

Dealing with these types of difficult personalities depends on how long and how deep a pattern of treating you as if you don't matter, and how many timea they dismiss your request for clear and direct communication with silent treatment or passive aggressive behavior. It is better to minimize contact in some cases, in others move on. It's an individual choice. It can be dangerous to interpret a truly destructive personality type with just being immature.

[JupiMeow]

Around 40 minutes the discussion around the use of "people pleasing" terminology is soooo potent! I didn't realize I had been using that to judge and punish myself. Thanks for another great episode!

[elizabethcommandeur]

I am blown away by how accurate this is. She’s so brilliant. Everything said is so helpful, oh my goodness.

[Lily-uhqj]

As a adult children of BPD mother, I am having a nerve breakdwon due to my mind set up, so much of my energy was spent on dealing with the unpleasant emotions caused by work, relationships...I brorrowed this e book from the library imediately . Thank you. I need a good boundary to protect me.

[SeraFaery]

This is one of the best interviews with Lindsay Gibson I've found yet, thank you so much for the care in creating this. It probably makes sense that this resonated with me the most because I am an HSP, and it seems like Patricia was really good at navigating this particular experience and Lindsay followed gracefully through that landscape, I'm impressed and so grateful! I;m in my late 40s and lost my parents some time ago, so I already have had to solve most of these issues on my own, but the new framing is useful and especially helpful in dealing with other emotionally immature family members who are still alive. <3

[HorseOpenSlay]

Hugs to everyone. Jeeze, how will we ever find our way. At this point it's just alone right?

[robertburatt]

Backstabbing is a commonplace among many, not all, such people; in families, at jobs, and anywhere where there is contact. And, there are always boundaries-- as long as there are human beings; public, private, professional, and customary. I find it a real rarity to come across an emotionally mature adult with an ability to REASON, and not disgorge clichés and fortified, self-indulgent biases.

[ayatarekhassan]

Dr Lindsay, your conversations has been really helpful and useful, kinda life saving ❤ thank you!

[thebluedot]

i found that when i realized there was more to life that i hadnt known about i got extremely angry because i knew it wasnt something id be able to reach or have the courage to get or was terrified of

[whereisscott]

It’s helpful to hear this but it also makes me sad because I don’t understand why almost no one gets it and why I do. It’s lonely most of the time…

[umeshkulkarni]

This is exactly my story with my EIP, myself and my child. Several scenes of my life are shown to me in this video. Thank you both so much. 👍🙏

[annyspb]

This is brilliant! I've long wondered why I started having epileptic seizures and nose bleeds as a pre-teen, and then partial seizures after my mother's nervous breakdown, deciding whether or not to divorce my father (after he beat her, which meant she had grounds for divorce). I've just ordered Lindsay Gibson's Self Care book and I'm very much looking forward to reading it. Thank you so much for this podcast. And may you continue to flourish! I'm going to be listening and listening and re-listening to this podcast - every time I hear it, I find ah ha moments .... xxx

[bloomfullcircle]

I am in good therapy for the first time and my reoccurring toxic thought is, “I am too much.” 15:40
Knowing I was programmed to think that way was very validating. Thank you.

[whereisscott]

You seem to get it exactly. I’ve only saw 2 videos so far, but is there a discussion on how to find a therapist who isn’t also playing the same emotionally immature games? I had a therapist who, because I was a few minutes late 1st session and a few minutes early 2nd session, made me wait til 10 minutes after starting time while she loudly stirred her tea in the kitchen of her home/office. I was 22 and she was at least twice that. 20 years later and I still am blocked from connecting with other emotionally mature and respectful people. This was around the corner from the UN, so we were both probably targeted. It does feel like i still have to teach therapist these ways of being because no one taught them either but they won’t let me get the credentials to make a living out of my best skills such as these because I really worked at it! While my peers were always out partying, I was trying to have better relationships because I wanted to address my issues head on instead of only numbing out like too many people do…please help me!