How Crisis Reveals A Narcissist's Beliefs Toward You

It is in our moments of crisis and conflict when the true self can be revealed. Narcissists carry so much tension that they become predictably dysregulated when they clash with you. Dr. Les Carter discusses how you can interpret their actions to discover the underlying beliefs they have about you.

📣 Dr. Carter's new course, Anger Games, is now available! 📣

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his YouTube channel, his videos have received more than 120 million views.

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Dr. Carter has three other courses that you may find to be useful:

[brucefriedman]

Narcissists derive pleasure from instigating crises and conflict. Keeping their victims in an unbalanced state is an opportunity for them to advance their agenda of control and domination.

[amandaliverpool]

They know that they can count on you in a crisis but when you have one they are nowhere to be seen. They are emotional vampires!!!

[Kp-gs]

The worst is when you see a problem coming, warn them about it over and over and then when it happens they blame you.

[winstonmoriarty]

They say crisis brings out the best in people. Narcissists are not among those people.

[nomansland]

The worst is when you see a crisis coming plain as day, they don’t, devalue you, and try to force you to walk right into it rather than work together to get ahead of it.

[sturobertson]

In times of crisis (and when you have anything nice in your life), they will frame it as if they believe you have done something heinously bad, and it will be used against you

[Cross-Examine]

I'm gonna start calling you "Uncle Les." You're like the uncle I've always needed. Thank you, Dr. Carter. GOD bless you. 💖🤗

[carparthero]

5 ways a narcissist acts when you need their help in a crisis: (thru my lived experience)

1) they act like nothing has happened.
2) they will gaslight you into believing that your situation never happened.
3) you might decide to open up and they'll pretend to care, then they'll move on like nothing happened.
4) they'll make it seem like they don't know what happened.
5) they will blame you for the crisis happening

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[LibraryBP]

Narcissists go into rage during a crisis. They can't sit and calmly talk about anything that bothers them or bothers you. Communication is zero around them unless you are a new supply or someone they want to impress. The person who lives with them is treated like crap.

[Iknowthings-iu]

After the baby, I had post partum depression- and he ignored me. My doctor called him in to talk. That didn't help. And through the years -when I felt like un aliving, dark or stressed- he stayed away. This is a man I lived with and married. He ignored me. For 13 years. Now that I fully see the truth of him, the divorce is easy. But I hate him, hate him for what he did and didn't do. All my sadness was acually his doing and I blamed it on myself. I really hate him and that's the fuel and reality that's getring me out of his death gripz

[blue.]

This is exactly what happened to me (with both parents who are raging narcs).

I had a stroke several months ago which they made about themselves. My father even said, “I don’t care if he lives or dies!” as my wife told him about my condition as I was going through it. My narc mother acted if SHE was the victim the whole time (to the point where I banned her from the hospital I was in as I told her to keep quiet about all her stories- but she refused to listen) and both “parents” now they are acting as if they were perfect parents through this whole ordeal and they can’t understand why I’m being “so mean to them” as a result of this.

The worst part was my helping them with their trivial issues for years before this.

Then again, this has always been the case- I’ve always helped them in some way, and they’ve always failed to reciprocate in the past.

[dehuceydf]

When my mother passed away, right before we were to head overseas for the burial, I was asked by my husband to, “try and keep your sh!t together.”
Unreal

[katiemiller]

This is soooo true.. crisis brings out the immature person inside them..

[aaronknight]

They would rather see the house burn down, than have others with the fire extinguisher ready. So sad

[sturobertson]

What others believe about you is up to them.
Tread your own path of peace and DRC and let them have their beliefs.
Resist the feeling that you need to defend yourself, even if you think their beliefs are ill founded

[dianahogg]

It's in my head so I'm just going say it. During the lockdowns I was glad of the rest I was nursing him every whim I was there to help him. Driving all over the country for him. I had a light bulb moment. What if anything happened to me. I would be alone. In that moment I decided I had had enough I needed to look after myself my health was suffering. When I stopped being available he couldn't wait to get out the door after 43 years. Amazing how they switch. Onwards and upwards ❤

[aaronkwolfe]

Crisis reveals character, but it often reinforces it.

[danemartin]

The narcissist I knew was the hero in your problems, and or crisis. This was to control how others would think about them. As for me, it was used to make me look the narcissist is the crisis...

[michaelmcinerney]

They dont care if someone dies, even their own siblings or parents. They will not grieve or mourn anyone. Its just who they are. If they dont even care about family, ( their own children included)just think of how they'll do you.

[robinsmith]

I live a life of work arounds. I have refined the process so that my husband and daughter in law simply look at my face which will kindly reflect don’t go there. The family understands why - I will walk away, drive away, or do whatever it takes to quietly back away, run, or excuse myself from the manipulation, lies, or gaslighting. EVERYTIME! No exceptions!!!