Love & Care With Alexithymia (Autism Dating)

Does Alexithymia Impact Displays Of Love/Care?

[mariesprowl]

Thank you for all that you share and teach. I learn so much from you. I’ve experienced this with a loved one (regarding the love emotion verses cold logical. ) It’s hard to navigate the two extremes, but knowledge helps.

[thrcuddlygamer]

I too can be quite emotional but also showing my cold and directness and logical like you and the issue in my life is my immediate family members seem to think I am selfish or an asshole because of it and tell me I need to rethink the things I say and that I apparently need to be the one to apologize for my actions when its unintentional. My directness is the cause of me losing support from my family members. My own mother called me selfish and egotistical basically telling me that I am the crazy one. It just seems like I have to be the one to apologize for everything and I am always wrong and no one ever apologizes to me for the things they say to me thinking they are right and that they can never be wrong. It honestly hurts because I am going to end up alone the older I get. I apparently get blamed for my behavior and my father goes back and forth on supporting me financially and being gay and Autistic, it makes it harder to date because I have a certain preference in men but then attacked for those preferences if I don’t choose the people interested in me and so I honestly feel like I am truly going to end up alone the older I get and it’s something I struggle in accepting. My mom likes to say she understands but she can’t and never will, not as an attack on her intelligence but you can’t truly understand the experiences of an Autistic person as an NT person. It’s impossible for them to put themselves in our shoes and yet we are expected to put ourselves in the shoes of a NT person? It doesn’t work like that because we don’t know what its like not having to be judged for your disability.

But going back to being alone, it’s definitely an ongoing thing to accept because I don’t want to be alone but it’s going to be a reality for me and it is going to suck…

[Sazzmorgan]

This sounds so familiar. The guy I'm dating has been very open about his ASD. He has no difficulty initiating physical contact and intimacy with me and he seems very warm towards me when we are together. However he often goes quiet when we are not together and almost seems quite cold and distant. He seems to also have sone difficulty understanding his feelings, for example he said to me recently "I am noticing a cute fuzzy feeling inside more and more when I see you" but the way he said it was almost a little cold and unenthusiastic, almost as if he didn't even realise that the feeling is actually a good sign