GHOSTING: Why Men Disappear

You meet a nice guy… You go on a few dates… Then one day, you text him...And there’s no response… What happened? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you’ve just been ghosted.

Hi, I’m Amy North, Youtube’s favourite love and relationship coach. I created the Devotion System to help women find love. But what do you do when the man you’re interested suddenly disappears without a trace? Just what’s going through a guy’s head when he ghosts you and how can you stop it from happening? Let’s get into it.

First off, we need to define ghosting. Ghosting is when someone “ends a romantic relationship by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.” With the rise of online dating and texting, ghosting has exploded in popularity. According to studies published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, more than 25% of people have reported being ghosted. Spooky!

Most often ghosting comes in the form of not responding to messages but it can extend to blocking on social media, failing to follow up on plans or even disappearing without a trace.
However he does it, ghosting hurts… The worst part is that guys often ghost to avoid any kind of real confrontation. That way they get to pretend like nothing happened and you have no real choice but to move on without any closure.

Just remember that any guy who ghosts you was never worth your time in the first place. This is him showing his true colours. Men who ghost have a few things in common. They’re emotionally immature, they’re afraid of conflict and they don’t understand how to treat people. So you can rest assured that any man who ghosts you has done you a favor in the long run.

The rise of ghosting is largely due to changes in technology. Before the modern age of cell phones, there was no way to be in constant contact with the guy you were dating. In the past you’d call him a couple times and when you couldn’t get a hold of him, you’d simply chalk it up to bad timing and move on with your life. Nowadays you know he’s seen your messages and is choosing not to respond. So it’s simply a matter of etiquette not keeping pace with technology. You could say that people have always been ghosting each other, we’re only now able to identify it.

But why do men do it? Why not try to work things out or simply be up front that they’re not interested? Here are the top reasons why men ghost

One… No butterflies

Oftentimes he feels that the connection between you two is just not there. Perhaps there’s some incompatibility that he’s noticed that you haven’t. I find that some women (and men) get wrapped up in the idea of this exciting new person and that colours their perception of the relationship. If this happens to you and not him then he’s probably seeing red flags that you’re missing.


Two… He’s not sure

We all know that modern dating lacks the clearly established boundaries that courtship had in the past. That’s why some guys think that if they simply don’t break up with you, then they can pick up right where things left off.

And the scary thing is, they’re often right. Think about it. You go on three dates with someone, you sleep together once… He calls you and says “I don’t want to see you anymore. I don’t think we have enough in common.” You’re upset but you appreciate his honesty and this allows you to move on...

*** More from Amy North: ***

[lolabrini]

hi amy! love ur insightful videos
keep em coming!😊😎🌸🌸🌸

[thebotfather]

loving how you're blocking all comments from men with opposing opinions. this is why men ghost.

[BombDame]

Have some self respect. If someone doesn't text you back or run over to see you at any chance they get, they aren't worth your time.
If a guy really cares about you, you will be his priority

[lolabrini]

6:12 "he can't ghost u if u dont text him" so dont chase him
6:23 "dont be cold simply be cool"
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[shaireensharma]

First rule : don't spend your money on a person in start bcz he can be ghosting
Second rule : a person who is now ghosted, don't try to find them... That are ass holes

[annlabs]

Thanks for this Amy! My ex-men ghosted me. It sucks but it helps me to love my self more..

[frankeinstein]

Seems to me that both sexes do it to each other. This is not a one directional issue. This is the age that we live in. And im becoming less and less interested in women, but i think ladies (generally speaking) are also less interested in men.

[nadiasrec]

When she said " he didnt have hard feelings for you" broke me .... cause the guy who ghosted me had promised me the world.

Btw.... he ghosted after i made a mistake and i did regret and tell him and said sorry but.... i guess it didnt work.

[Pipsterz]

"Don't let him ignore you... Don't let him flake out on you..." Don't let him?? This is hugely vague and unclear. Can you please clarify? Thanks.

[lavayuki]

guys who ghost are cowards. I always make guys initiate texting and dates

[cindyparrish]

This really helped a lot. I was really down but now I see his ghosting is his issue, not mine. Still hurts though

[peachpetal]

I've been ghosted by my boyfriend of 11 years, after we had one difficult year. This was after 10 very good years together. I don't understand it at all.

[AdamButt]

Tbh women ghost more than men. I know because I've experienced it. We're not afraid of conflict, we just don't want to go to prison, so it's not worth the risk or the hassle. I don't ghost but there are obviously men that do. If they actually feel like it's going somewhere, most of the time they won't ghost. So think about what you're actually bringing to the table. Are you providing him with enough sex? If not, what is exactly is he getting out of it? You're meant to be in a relationship with your man, not a friendship. Friends don't have sex, but partners do.

[missjlg]

He ghost me. Our daughter 6mos. Come to find out he was cheating the whole 2 yrs and left me for his bm. So he talked down on me to his family. Nor does he help me with our child. His bm plays on my phone. And it is what it is. But he will face his karma.

[victorianorris]

Want try your Devotion System how can I do if he's not talking to me and ghosted me??

[indisingh]

Hey Ms North Thanks For These Tips First Time I'm Hearing About Ghosting You're Amazing

[TheMadArab]

I have ghosted for Reason #1. Just didn't feel a spark. Additionally, when I heard her talk and communicate some of her boundaries/wants, I didn't think she was a right match for me. Those things included; wanting to move out of the area (making me think she wasn't long-term material), she was frequently on her phone when we were together, and this last one... I have to explain a bit. I understand safe sex, I wouldn't want anyone putting themselves in a position where they weren't being safe, but truly, honestly, sex with condoms just does absolutely nothing for me. I don't find it enjoyable and I won't finish. I'm willing to wait until we've both been tested and know each other is clean, and wait more until she's on some form of birth control. But I've experienced "fluid-bonding" (when your sexual fluids make contact with theirs) with a woman and it's one of the most intimate things between two people. I want that intimacy, and I wanted it with her, so when she said she "didn't want some guys cum splashing all over her cervix" (her exact quote), it was a complete turn-off for me. I knew I wouldn't be able to have the kind of intimacy with her that I wanted. I saw a shallow relationship in the future and it made me completely pull back. Now, those are her boundaries, and I was respecting them, but how do you explain this to a woman where you don't end up being an asshole? And seriously, I've already heard some of you ladies thinking that as you read this... It's easier, and probably more respectful, to ghost and be an asshole for not saying anything than it is to try and explain any of these things. But bottom line, guys will ghost if they don't have strong feelings for you, that's entirely correct.

[alxsvllhopwemtagnimy]

Disagree, I'm not imatured at all.
If I don't seem to find the deep connection between her, i will leave.
I'm just afraid of choosing the wrong person again.

[yhangagravante]

We were okay yesterday but suddenly he just texted me that "do not text or call me anymore. Thank you for everything😉" I hope I can get a reply from you amy😔 I badly needed an advice..

[klscriviner]

I'm currently experiencing this. It's hurtful, wish things were very different between us. I still hope for a message 😞