A #Narcissist Explains: Coparenting with a #narcissist. Parallel parenting and setting boundaries

Coparenting with a #narcissist. Parallel parenting and setting boundaries could save you time and energy

Welcome to The #Narcissists' Code. If this is your first video, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the #narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The abuse victims get validation and the #Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

You can find me on -

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“Coparenting” with a narcissist has been the worst experience of my life. Honestly. It’s so hard not being able to escape this person.

[MiaJohnson-xm]

Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey

[kimberlyconner]

Ive been coparenting with my abusive narcissist for 12 years. Its a nightmare. I wish he'd be that dad who just disappears. I wouldn't even ask for child support, I just want him to leave my daughter and I alone. He destroys her self confidence when she with him, and I have to build her back up when she's with me.

[XxconstentinexX]

As someone who is healing from years of narcissistic abuse, no judgment here. I appreciate your transparency.

[darkflower]

Coparenting with a narc sucks. You do all the work and get 1/4 the recognition.

[DarienneEmpire]

Laughed out loud when you said, "He gone text you at 2am asking how the baby doing knowing damn well that baby sleep." That's my ex.

[exx]

Its a power thing. Time is a form of control. My entire marriage revolved around my ex’s schedule. Our entire family had to move heaven and earth to fit his schedule but it was never reciprocated. My schedule was irrelevant. It took me 2 decades to figure that out. So now - we are not chained to his schedule. Freedom

[Blues]

This is my situation right now. I been dealing with the father of my son for 7 years. I’m so exhausted. Worst experience of my life.

[eponymoususer]

That’s a great suggestion:
In response to “Mommy says” questions, it’s awesome to ask “well, what do you think?” Not only does it open a dialogue, but it allows your child to express themselves and feel understood. Narcissists have a very difficult time allowing kids to have their own thoughts and opinions. It’s crucial that the other parent provides opportunities for it.
A step further: no matter how they answer- ask why they think that. Keep asking questions instead of telling them how they think or feel. It will help you understand, guide, and support your child’s method of critical thinking.

[britneywilliams]

It amazes me that after going through so much with him I started doing a lot of these things without even knowing the names of them. Like this parallel parenting. And I know it boils his blood when I stop him in his tracks with “ hey is this about our son”. 🤣 nothing but GOD brought me through this. And I only did 4long hard years in the vicinity with him.

[JessicaMarieOnline]

I’m a world that breeds narcissists it is wonderful that you are showing vulnerability to bring awareness to us, who all have narcissist tendencies at some point. None of us are perfect.

[TeIechubbie]

I wish so badly my daughter’s father would go to therapy and get the help he needs. Taking responsibility and also advocating for healing and awareness is such a mature stance to take. Thank you for your information

[jennchavira]

I’m up at 4am trying to get peace and learn how to deal with my ex .. I’m so exhausted….😢😢😢😢 divorced three years and still daily going back and forth I want it to stop.. I refrain so many times from defending myself.. I hope to get some nuggets

[ponderdarlingmybustedheart]

Parallel Parenting only works if they're not abusing the child.

[thedopemom]

“Your reactions are your power” I needed to hear that again. I’ve watched this 5x. My son’s father has triggered me 3x too many in 2 days while he has our son. I had 2 options one to crash out and 2 to just ghost him. My son loves his dad so I came to watch this for a 6th time to calm me down until church starts..thanks .

[cayondaspires]

Thank u I needed this today bc he’s so crazy he has his family on his side wen he acts up so further reason I cannot do this without the authorities. No longer taking inconsistent payments so filed child support n tired of attitude n inconsistency with care so I told him we could do the court thing to update our parenting plan just pray for my strength ten more years. N ur right im done with his access to me it’s only to my son now

[rastabae]

That’s what I’m dealing with. Cutting access off from me and only focusing in on the kids. They hate boundaries.

[lauriesstory]

I love how you are self aware! I am a therapist. Also keep in mind that sometimes you care a lot about being “judged”. Keep working on your mental health too because I can see the narcissism tendencies trying to peak back, such as the need to not be judged. Narcs are very insecure. No need to focus on who will judge you, you’re doing a great job and are still a work in progress!

[catherinewacker]

I've been divorced from my boy's father since 2013...he continues to terrorize the children and me through the broken family court system. I consider the judge his biggest enabler!

[tigizxs]

Parallel parenting does work at keeping the peace, but it takes a lot of humility. You have to really pick your battles and remind yourself it is for the kids and not for you or the other parent. The kids deserve peace. They didn't choose their parents. It is only a short time you have with your kids. Don't spend it fighting about nonsense that won't matter 20 years from now.