WHY THE INFJ DARK SIDE IS THE INFJ'S BEST KEPT SECRET

INFJ Life Coach Lesson: The INFJ dark side is the stuff of nightmares. It's this big topic on the internet- should you be scared? Is it dangerous for others if they have an INFJ as a friend or family member, etc.? We're going to go over everything that everybody always wants to know but nobody can seem to find any concrete answer to.

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[Wenzes]

What is your experience with the INFJ Dark Side?

[leonorabrandscheit]

our dark side is actually mirroring the dark side of others to them.

[chriscampbell]

It take ALOT to get me to my “breaking” point but once I get to that point you better watch it because I turn into someone totally different than who I usually am.

[blove]

Our door slam is our way of saying, respect me or stay away from me. The coldness is a protection for our well being. The power of reading them after abusing us is a way to teach them a valuable lesson. I will never feel lonely. I'm happy to eliminate toxic people from my life.

[michaelmorgan]

Once you burn an INFJ person, it's like the gentle kitten goes away, and brings his big brother, the lion. A lot of people know this, and that's one reason most of us INFJ individuals are generally avoided at all costs by the so called "normal" people.

[dorotaem]

The other person realizes they've been at the mercy of you. 😂

[melonpan]

Cutting out toxic /false friends out of your life is not evil, cold or dark in any aspect. I actually don't feel any dark side inside of me. I don't feel any hatred nor anger towards people (even the toxic ones).

[anitalentz]

The "Dark Side" is not so dark as it is constant. We. as a group, are very forgiving folks. We allow and allow and allow people to be who they are. The breaking point, if it is going to come, often appears when the same people we are allowing to be themselves begin to put limits or rules or exceptions to their approval on us. The result is "Who the hell do you think you are? I don't judge you. I don't tell you how to manage your life and now you're going to put limits on me!?! I don't think so! " At that point we even (very emotionally) try to explain that what they're doing is not fair. Usually the "offended one" is so shocked and surprised by our reactions that they tend to get angry. Here''s the part they never get.... they think that when things settle down, everything will go back to "normal", but they're wrong. For an INFJ, this is a betrayal that cannot be taken back. Everything is different now. Where we were truly interested and cared about this other persons life, we now see things from a distance and unemotionally. This is why we are seen as "dark", even cruel. If the rest of the world only knew how, even after a terrible blow up, even when we never associate with that person again, we still hold them in our hearts. We still think about them and hope that they are doing okay. We may even wish they could have understood that betrayal and being unbalanced and unfair is the worst possible thing a person could to to an INFJ. So, it's not that I feel "dark". I feel that in order to maintain my fragile and very sensitive self, I have to protect it from being torn down. So I have to be constant, consistent in my vigilance to take care of my own psyche.

[fmiplou]

My dark side is, when people come at me verbally, I can take A LOT before I either A) Roast them with their faults B) Explode and let it all out at the same time before I walk away, or C) I just freeze them out and go. In any scenario, I walk away from the situation.

[TheSaubzable]

As an INFJ I always believe I'm a fluff ball who can take extreme amounts of pain without ever snapping... but the day I snap, it'll be a bloodbath.

[TheMichaelseymour]

Person i knew once had the stupidity to call me a "yes man "
what he didn't realize when i asked him for his impression of me was,
1 : i knew he was going to say something like that - 2: he does not have the depth of feeling required to even fathom what this video outlines .
I am self sacrificing ALL the time ...unlike his cold, shunted, shut down, self centered nature...i am NOT merely trying to endear myself ..but actually, genuinely interested in saying "yes ' to people my default position (as this vid suggests) - i am genuinely happy to be this way....and less altruistic types find this insincere as they don't/ cant believe anyone can be anything less than selfish .
I do resent people that find me shallow - but when they underestimate me too much ...boy, they are usually stunned at the observations and depth of how well i have got their less than desirable traits and foibles . Also ...they usually get a shocking insight much later on that we are indeed "one of the good guys " ....but sadly ...usually too late for me once i have frozen them out,

[mr.goodwrench]

What is my experience with the INFJ Dark Side ? When I have put people in their place on numerous occasions, it was normally about me resisting their micro-management or control. I have either lost friends, been isolated or I have "door slammed" them as a result. So, that never bothered me, and it worked out in my favor. They left me alone. Being introverted and fiercely independent may get to some people that I know, yet, I have learned to do a lot on my own, and I feel as though I am living an epic life as a result. I actually do like people, it's just that I am more discerning as to whom I share with, which does in fact leave me with fewer friends, yet quality friends.

[Tomkend]

Our dark side keeps us from being doormats. Yes I've slammed a lot of doors, always justified.

[marizabarnes]

I’ve never hidden any of my sides. Never since a child.

[tresorkuh]

A guy insulted me and oh damn I gave him such a cold answer. He was so shocked about it haha

[escobarlisle]

As an infj myself I can tell you am scared of my darkside and purposely try an avoid conflict for that reason

[LadyCharity]

Yes, it is bittersweet. Its unfortunate we need it but sometimes necessary especially to protect ourselves from toxic behavior/personalities.

[helenes]

When I know some things that can deeply hurt another person, it's not that I don't say it only because I am afraid of rejection. I don't wanna hurt the other person, I don't want them to feel bad about themselves and I know they have to follow their own path to get better. Even when someone is mean to me, I can't tell everything I know. This is a big problem because when someone close to me is mean or angry to me, I just shut down, it's very difficult to say what I think, I need a loooot of time to answer correctly and I rather write than see the other person or call... But people usually want fast reaction because if you don't they think you don't care, when it's exactly the opposite!

[Wisdom]

Once I decide to strike back I have a coldness and I use their own hang ups to destroy them. Yes that is scary because the empath in me usually tends to cause guilt

[GothicNoir]

As someone who has not only experienced the “Darker” workings of the world, an coincidentally analyzed the darker workings of the human psyche: I’ve concluded that it is human, to have a dark-side. You cannot assume that because someone is nice, and empathetic to all things; doesn’t also have bad days. Being an INFJ-T myself, as I’ve matured: I had to reach my own duality of self. For some people it’s more pronounced, as is the sweeter-soft side of my personability. I reflect and treat people with the same respect, given to me. Everyone is not a circle with curves consistent, without edges.