INFJ DARK SIDE | How To Integrate The Dark Side And Use It To Our Advantage

Aug 7th, 6pm CET, 12pm EST, 9am PST

INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about the INFJ dark side, and we're gonna talk about how to integrate it, how to make it part of our identity and our personality. Most of the time when you hear or read or watch anything about the INFJ dark side, it's always this thing that we keep hidden because once it comes out, when it comes out, it's this monster and it's really particular because it stings so much. So many of us carry it as a badge of honor, something we don't want to use. But if we do, it's gonna hit hard. But I'm going to show you how you can use it on a daily basis. If you Carl Jung, you know very well how important it is to integrate that part into our life so we can utilize it and it will help move our life forward.

#INFJ #INFJLIFECOACH #LIFECOACHING

[Wenzes]

What dark side aspect of yours are you most afraid of?

[melanie]

I'm afraid of my ability to entice and control others. Sometimes I feel only two quick jumps away from becoming a charismatic cult leader. I just see so easily what people need and how I could provide it.

[stormcrown]

Last time I used the power of my dark side, was when I needed to protect myself, to stand my ground against a person who was trying to dominate me, to break me and who has completely misjudged me, thinking that I was the weak and overly friendly nice guy... I fought back, using all my abilities, knowing the weak spots of the other person... it may seem cruel, but in that moment I knew very well how to hurt that person, it was like having power over the counterpart...it's like you said, it is a hidden part of you and when it comes out, it's devastating... The day after it happened, I met with some friends and they told me that I seemed very happy and full of energy. That was a quite accurate description of how I was feeling, like having discharged heavy weights and now feeling really powerful.
I love your warrior metaphor, I have always identified, even in childhood, myself as a warrior ( let's call it INFJ - warrior-type😂), it helped me to go on in dark times, to grow and to build myself up. Keep on your fantastic work, Wenzes! Wish you all the best!

[khalilfelder]

This, by far, was the best lesson on self-love I've ever received

[LightofApollo]

I've been firmly aware, for a long time now, that we hold a lot of emotional strength. For instance, the fact that we can be very... picky about our partners, to the point that we'd much rather stay alone than be with someone just for the sake of company. That's a very INFJ thing to do, right? And it does show strength, to an extent. Or the fact that we might be going through an immense internal strife, yet manage to put on a smile and try to keep our emotions from flooding everything. There's strength in that. Even though one could argue that letting it all out, revealing it, that also takes another kind of strength, and one that we may lack... Anyway, the point is, strength itself is something that scares me a lot of the time. Because I feel like our dark side has it, more so than other people. And it's not always a good thing.

[lindateuling]

Growing up, I always wondered why people, who had no problem getting in my face when they didn't like what I did, got all bent out of shape when I got in theirs. It also didn't help when my family openly disapproved of my showing any anger at all.

So I can vouch for what you've said in this video. It was emotionally hard for me to integrate this "dark side" but I needed it for honest, genuine communication. Thats why I like your comittment to honesty from the very beginning, and reducing the need for doing the "door slam."

[gilbrook]

What a beautiful truth for an INFJ’s growth. Permanent solution to ending cycle of passive-aggression. Incorporate your dark side!

[TrinhNguyen-qzrp]

Never felt so understood my whole life. I can make people feel either extremely loved or hurt/exposed that they had no other choice than to remove themselves from me.

[bananabreadloaf]

I’m a control freak, and I have to try not to be overbearing to people in my family and to not micromanage them. So I guess I’m afraid of pushing people away by doing what I think is best for them instead of letting them figure out life.

[mantsabengmokorosi]

I'm at a breaking point with my mother. Either I suffer a stroke from harbouring my feelings, my truth or let her have my honest opinion and risk her hating me for life. Good luck to me.

[hlgoodkat]

Wenzes is 100% right! When I was a young man, before I realized what I was doing, I recklessly wielded my dark side as a weapon against others. Especially those I loved. I knew they couldn't leave me. It got to the point that everyone was scared to say the wrong thing to me. Now... as an older fella, I'm all too aware of my dark side, and have learned how to use it constructively (for the most part). I've finally learned how to be a just, strong, leader.

Just found your channel and LOVE it. Thank you!

[ilyadimitrovas]

As a kid, I took in the problems of others like a black hole. I was and still am that person everyone turns to when they have a bone to pick, so I see all kinds of ugly, I know what makes them tick. Like a black hole, all this negativity is compressing at the centre. It has collapsed under pressure a couple of times, but in a feral, aggressive way, not verbal (I didn't know how to express myself properly at the time). Its been a while since the last time it came out so now I know exactly how I can ruin someone. Intuitively knowing if someone is worth being a friend is something an INFJ can do (although it is just an umbrella term). I finally have found true friends and I'm really afraid of them seeing the demon in me the next time I collapse. I'm slowly learning to express myself, hoping it'll relieve some stress but I'm scared that I might go overboard one day. Thank you for the advice, it was like being woken up by cold water.

[MsKingwa]

This was 💯💯💯 We swallow a lot of garbage from others. Which then burdens us - physically, emotionally, mentally. Owning our fierceness is saying no more to that. We are here to travel light.

[thelonewolf]

This is the best video you've record so far.
I remember as a teenager i did let other people bully me around because i was afraid that if i actually defended my self other people around me will see me as a "aggresive monster " thus not doing anything to defend my self.
Now on my young adult times if i notice someone insulting me or trying to bully me i actually will tell them to (stop, i don't appreciate the way you're talking to me or the way you're treating me) and because of this I've lost many "friendships" wich they were not because if they were, they wouldn't have treated me the way they did in the first place. Thanks for what you're doing on you're videos you are helping me keep my mind together and not to feel like a terrible person for having self respect.

[trsylml]

Sometime u need total Darkness to see the smallest glimpse of Light...I only go on my Dark side to show (teach) people who's in need of enlightenment...Cheers!!!

PS: There's only 2 ways to learn in this world(Wisdom or Pain(hurt).)...We all learn better the hard way(Pain)...

[tatianaREAL]

I’m forever trying to protect everyones wellbeing but my own 😞 NOT anymore 💪🏾

[varalis]

For so, so long I've been struggling to figure out what it is that is keeping me from having the dead-set determination that I know I have to accomplish what I want in life. I think this video has hit the very heart of the issue for me. Thank you for opening my eyes to the problems I didn't know I had, or didn't think (or want) to fix. I can't thank you enough for putting all this content out there for free, I think you're really making positive changes in many peoples' lives. Or at least mine.

[evanfauntleroy]

To go along with our inclination to take on brutal and damaging words or actions of others, may be a level of moral and ethical code instilled at an younger age... the idea to be the "bigger/better" person by not saying anything back to them in those moments. Though our dark side knows how to truly inflict pain in rebuttal, we don't, out of respect for them and ourselves because I also sense that it is stooping to a level of tit for tat rather than constructively addressing either person's underlying frustration. In honesty, my intuition has told me time over, how someone would likely behave...but in that time of life I didnt trust my intuition, do I wanted to go more with the flow of life and let people "prove themselves". In the end, my intuition was spot on. Leading to the moment of dark side energy and door slams because I accepted mistreatment despite offering other people a way out of their bad patterns. So you're right, we can integrate the dark side... it just has to flow rather than be abrupt.
Thanks for this.

[annap-g]

Much appreciated wisdom 🙌🏻 Thank you! 😊 Yeah, I always felt like if I express myself fully, people might die... ☠️

[kgtramp]

Just love those around you when you're with them....your love is greater than your anger