What's REALLY Borderline or Narcissistic?

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) are often confused due to some overlapping traits, but they are distinct disorders.

- BPD is characterized by instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotions, as well as marked impulsivity.
- NPD is defined by grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

The video aims to clarify the similarities, differences, and overlaps between these disorders to help identify and understand each more accurately. While both disorders may exhibit similar behaviors, the underlying motivations and patterns differ significantly.

Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.

He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:

Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:

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00:00 Introduction
00:34 Global Definition - BPD
00:49 Global Definition - NPD
01:23 BPD Traits Compared
03:58 NPD Traits Compared
10:08 Overlapping Traits & Components
10:19 Sensitivity to Criticism
11:02 Ragefulness
12:45 Entitlement

[roxy]

Thank you Dr Fox I think the reason why people believe they are similar is because they have never actually met someone with NPD (which is fairly rare I believe) they have only met people with narcissistic traits. I have met a few people high in NPD and find they are significantly different to someone with BPD.

[KimNeal]

I really love how you explained the bpd entitlement piece. I could never understand some of those behaviors I have and this explains it well. It makes a lot of sense that I have been mistaking that need. I’m assuming getting it fulfilled another way will reduce/stop these impulsive reactions? Definitely something I will bring up in therapy. Thank you for the insight!

[AssumptionEmpty]

I am quiet BPD with heavy overlap into covert NPD. They are not so different at all. BPD and NPD are different solutions to the same problem. All cluster B is developmental trauma disorder. We were rejected for who we truly were.

NPD is fully false self and therefore a lot more stable, while BPD is caught in constant battle between true self and false self, that is why we are so unstable. My NPD is making sure I can keep up appearances long enough to fall apart when in private (completely alone). My mother is borderline. Father is narcissistic. I'm the very best of both worlds. By all accounts I have a good life even by neurotypical standards becasue I am wickedly inteligent, but I know exactly who I am. It's sad and miserable existance.

Essentially, borderline is a failed narcissist.

[Fika_time]

I’ve been following your channel for about 4-5yrs. Started when I was in graduate school for my MSW. I really appreciate your explanation and teaching on here. It is evident you are an expert and knowledgeable in the area of personality! Love your content!

[username]

There is some empathy, but your own issues come before others. You can use cold empathy and ask questions about what is going on with the other person. I don't have the "alone" trait as much. I can't tell if I'm a Passive Aggressive or Vulnerable Narcissist.

[MemeJustme-ty]

Very helpful - they are desperate to feel better and in doing those behaviors they leave a wake of damage to everything and one they care about behind.

[usopjww]

I think that BPD and NPD actually have the same core content. Only people with NPD managed to cover it up with creating a false sense of self which helped them stay in relationship with their caregivers.

[AliceLytle]

Excellent help! Thank you!
I see a lot of narcissism and/or narcissistic personality disorder without borderline personality disorder too. But rarely see BPD without NPD.

[Avaaaw]

I’m not saying this because I have BPD, but what distinguishes BPD from NPD is that narcissists want to hurt others. People with bpd overreact because they are hurt and are in utter pain. Their rage is mainly because they don’t know how to regulate their emotions. But, to be fair, how can anyone regulate the psychological equivalent of an open and infected wound?

[mrmoveandspeak]

Dr Fox, you must be a psychic! I was searching for a video like this. Thank you for making quality content

[TheAngellSpeaks]

BEST video! I like how you presented the most common NPD and BPD while outlining the overlapping traits of both behavior patterns.

[cynthialant]

This was very enlightening, thank you!

[kenkellum]

Sometimes I feel that my pwbpd reacts like they are drowning. So in a panic to save themselves they drown you. It’s about emotional survival. That’s what I thought of when you said entitlement

[rosendungu]

I think im BPD. I think another similarity is enjoying the newness of sth only to get bored in no time (im forgetting the one word for it)

Plus our discards are such that we completely forget the person at devaluation and discard

[KatBlack]

Thank you Doctor Fox for all your help on these disorders. I would love to see a video about NPD vs BPD rage. When to be worried, and possible strategies, while they are in this state of rage to calm things down.

[YouilAushana]

0:42 - I totally have change in affect and feelings towards everything that is in a level behind my "wall".

5:01 - like a politician they always speaking or thinking of competing and or taking you out.

[IamHisHeismine]

Do you have any information on how to undo the way someone might’ve affected your mind and the type of abuse that can occur from a narcissistic person who has accused you of having borderline personality disorder just because you became a disregulated wreck of a person after the way they have abused you? Even any expression of emotion was pathologies and pain some disorder. This is really done a number on me and it’s hard to convince yourself and people that you don’t have a disorder that you’ve been accused of when you were a mess and you’re still not OK and working through what they did to you. This has been like a horrible and invested maze unraveling to get out of. The person I dated is high on that narcissistic scale and because I care about them, I don’t really want to admit they have this disorder online and these disorders started to say that I had that and that I was doing all these things I wasn’t doing. Like are you able to help me? I’m feeling like the only person in the world that believes me.

[LisaLisa]

Absolute best video. I love exactly how the information was laid out, so easy to process and stay focused on which list I'm on and how that's different. I didn't have to pause and write it down. 10/10 ❤❤❤

[raypluck]

So can a person who has bpd gaslight, manipulated, lie and want to hurt others in very destructive ways when they split without actually having npd?

[endorfin_]

@DrDanielFox I’m wondering if much of the maladaptive behavior with BPD, ADHD and PTSD is related to the person living in their Default Mode Network. When I see self-destructive, maladaptive behavior from a loved one, it seems to come with no thought process and no awareness of consequences. It’s like I’m interacting directly with his DMN. Once self-regulation returns, we can communicate again.