What if I think I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[killjoyredux]

Being able to self reflect enough to ask if you are a possible narc is usually enough of an indication that you are not one...

[joyandrews]

My worry is, if we’ve spent so much contact with toxic people, we may have absorbed some of their poison, and become toxic as well.

[CoachHadassah]

Omg… this video pops up AS SOON as I was questioning myself ONCE AGAIN about this. The gaslighting is so real that you doubt yourself even when you’re alone in silence.

[arooraccoon]

I asked my therapist this question when I first started to learn about narcissism because I could see myself in some of the symptoms and a phrase she used was: is it the climate or the weather? In other words, is this behaviour a trend that is consistent over time or a storm that blows through occasionally? This has been a helpful frame for me in navigating my relationships with others and in finding forgiveness for myself when I'm having an off day- sometimes I'm a jerk and sometimes it snows in Texas but it isn't the norm.

[RyugaChan]

The very self awareness of being unempathetic and selfish means that you're not a narcissist. Narcissists have the feeling that they're perfect, better than the rest and will gaslight anyone that stands up to them when they're wrong about something making that person feel they're to blame for everything and that are full of flaws and don't deserve the narcissists attention or time.
Trust me, been there.

[leafyveins]

I did become like a covert narcissist. But I became that way to survive being with him. And I numbed myself with substances for 5 years afterwards. And now I'm finally doing the work to change

[monicarai]

It's so sad the way they induce us with such thought when we were truly victimized all the way.

[garycordle]

A narcissist will not even care, they know they are toxic, but they just don't care at all 👍 Dr RAMANI thanks for the video 🦋

[hannahisabel]

I think a big thing that bothers me is how I’m so shut off to people. This isn’t me. I’ve been trapped in this shell for so long and I try so hard to break out of it. I want to be kind and talkative and everything. But the dark thoughts will flood me. And I’ll tell myself they don’t care or they won’t listen. Because this is what my partner does. He has smashed me up into these broken pieces I am fighting so hard to clean up.

[kosmicuniverse]

Being from a family of several narcissists made me so concerned that I too would become highly narcissistic and self absorbed also! Thank you Dr Ramani for always breaking the information into digestible chunks and being the voice of reason to encourage personal reflection, self awareness and hope!!!

[costelloandlizzievolk]

This is 💯 what I have questioned about myself lately, as I feel I became an unhealthy version of myself from being in constant unhealthy and unsafe situations, where I was gaslit, invalidated and emotionally abused all the time. When I finally started to stand up for myself and exert boundaries and speak up, I was shamed and blamed horribly. I’ve totally been riddled by self blame shame and doubt. Forgot who I am. Will watch this video over and over again to remind me. Taking myself back . 💪🏼Thank you so much.❤❤❤❤❤

[justme-me]

I was in an abusive narcissistic relationship for close to 15 years. I have been out 3 years. I am still healing and often when I see a whiff of a red flag I run away. Your video on having "solo" time was very validating to me. My circle is small yet the freedom by myself is so worth it. I am good with me and my cat.

[MCizzle]

After being abused by my narcissistic father during my childhood, and finally finding out that he is a narcissist after he underwent a psychological assessment when undergoing care in a nursing home, I feared that there was a genetic component to narcissism and that I might be one too. But I've worked on myself incredibly hard and have always been the exact opposite of who he was, so I know I cannot be a narcissist too. If you are questioning if you have narcissistic personality disorder, there is a good chance that you don't. Someone who actually has it is very unlikely to see a problem with their own behaviour and seek help.

[TheSoonyGirl]

The benefit from watching your shows is recognising NPD behaviours in myself and correcting them; one might not be NPD, but one might have picked up some of those traits. By understanding that these behaviours arise from insecurity has helped me more honest with myself and face my insecurities. I don’t think there’s benefit from worrying about having NPD, but there a lot of good in working on the traits and styles, confronting ones insecurities, and learning positive boundaries. I can see in families where ever there was an NPD personality, it has created huge ripples; although there’s few NPD people there can be a lot of their traits rippling through families and communities.

[MacarthurPark]

You are my #1 go to for NP information. Thank you for contributing so much!

[Aanframe]

Believing that one has NPD is a way of being stuck in a narcissistic relationship (now the narcissist is the prude and virtuous and oh so generous for talking to us) and a form of self-punisment (if I am the narcissist I deserve all punishment in silent).
If we are raised by narcissistic parents, being the one to blame and be punished is a way to "rescue" the family.
We belive that there is something wrong with us and we don't deserve to exist.
The problem is that we keep finding the same kind of dynamics with other people and we can get out only through information.
Being the rescuers of ourselves is the most important.

[aishah]

I think narcs also end up with narcs …it’s not always just empaths ending up with narcs

[JustineDodd]

Thank you ~ these are exactly the thoughts I have had while in a narc relationship ~ even about people other than the narc. Once the narc was gone, and some time had passed, my thoughts became 'my own' again and, with the help of many of your words, I've learned to recognize the many narcissists I have had in my life and prevent any of them from getting close to me again. Knowledge is power, and the support I feel with the knowledge you share so generously has changed my life and saved me twice, so far, from letting another narc get close to me

[arielm]

A narcissist is the first to say "I'm NOT a narcissist" while being unapologetic, condescending, competitive, manipulative, acting out the bully-victim complex, inflating themselves as better than, and expecting excessive recognition. AND this person can also present as being VERY kind and bubbly to those they gain from. It's the folks who aren't narcissist that self-reflect and ask themselves if they have NPD based on very isolated situations as Dr. Ramani mentioned here. Be kind to yourselves. Healing from narcissistic relationships- whether with parents, siblings, family, friends, or romantic partners- takes relearning to trust and love yourself. <3

[neilmcguire]

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD and depression and am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I am very hypersensitive and tend to get easily triggered by things. I often think I’m a narcissist or have another personality disorder because I tend to base my self image on the approval or disapproval of others (for instance, feeling worthless if someone says something negative about me and feeling excessively confident if someone says something positive about me) and have insecurities about my level of intelligence because I’ve been belittled by someone narcissistic for being passionate about my education. Sometimes I feel like succumbing to narcissistic abuse has turned me into a narcissist because of how well they gaslight and instill a sense of insecurity in their victims. Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like a constant competition. They constantly feel the need to one-up you and you constantly feel the need to seek their validation and approval. It’s like a literal tug of war. If you were point out something a narcissist did you would probably spend the next hour going into a back and fourth of “No I didn’t!” “Yes you did!” with the narcissist. I still feel paranoid sometimes about whether or not I’m a narcissist because of the insecurities I’ve suffered due to narcissistic abuse. I just hope I’m not one.