Adult Child of Narcissist -- Letting Go of Narcissistic Parents and Choosing the Self/Lisa Romano

#narcissisticmother #narcissism #codependencyrecovery Dear adult child of a narcissist, there comes a time when you must let go and learn to put. yourself first. Narcissism in parents robs a child of the narcissistic parent the freedom and right to live a healthy normal life. The adult child of a narcissist is forced to live in anxiety. The adult child of a narcissist has suffered abandonment, emotional neglect, psychological and emotional abuse. In some cases, children of narcissists also experience horrific physical abuse and other forms of abuse as well.

When we have narcissistic parents, we are taught that our emotions do not matter. We stuff our emotions and distract ourselves from the tension we feel inside. The distractions outside of us must be stronger than the emotions we are running from that live inside of us.

When we start addressing narcissistic abuse and our codependency, suddenly when those old distractions are no more, it becomes very difficult to suppress those old emotions and anxieties. It is normal to suddenly become aware of anxiety when you have less distractions to keep your mind busy as a result of confronting the narcissistic abuse in your life.

The goal is to learn how to process our emotions so that the energy that has been stored can filter through our bodies and be released.

Thank you to Estelle for reaching out to me on Youtube with such a great question!

Please subscribe to this channel and offer any insights or questions you would like me to address.

We are STRONGER together!

✅ Take the Codependency Quiz

✅ Codependency On-Demand Presentation

Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness. She is also one of the most popular meditation teachers on Insight Timer and is the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. To her credit, Lisa creates online programs that help others organize their minds and create peace in their lives.

To learn more about her groundbreaking online coaching program that is proving to help transform the lives of others, including psychotherapists and neuroscientists, visit

✅ The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program

✅ Quantum Healing Master Your Reality Coaching Program

✅ Loving the Self Video and Self-Hypnosis Program

✅ BECOME A MEMBER

🙏 BREAKTHROUGH WARRIOR MEMBERSHIP SITE
Monthly themes, mantras, programs, meditations, podcasts, interviews, webinars, monthly live group call and more. Healing resources all in one place! Private FB group included. Monthly and annual membership available. Cancel at any time.

*********😀 Listen to Audio Books for Free 😀 *********

📚 Codependent Now What

📚 Loving the Self Healing Childhood Programming

📚 Quantum Tools to Help You Heal Your Life

📚 Loving the Self -- Breaking the Subconscious Patterns

📚 The Road Back To Me

🎯 Facebook

🎯 Instagram

Thank you for watching Adult Child of Narcissist -- Abused For an Entire Lifetime

#adultchildofnarcissist #narcissisticmother #narcissistparent

[phoebelafibi]

I am 58 years old. You are the light! 85 year old narcissistic mother in a nursing home... I AM NOT responsible for her unhappiness. I CAN go no contact! My stress level has gone down 50% in my daily life. Namaste!

[victoriavollam]

Choose your own health and well-being over their need for you to be their source of narcissistic supply. Im 57 amd been no contact for 11 months, best thing ever. Good riddance to bad toxicity. Narc parents are poison.

[izzydianaa]

I’ve also stopped helping them. No more reiki for them, no more advice, no more encouraging them to grow and think deeper. I never got any of that. I could let myself go and all I would get is shamed and yelled at. They would never think to empower me the way I empowered them growing up.

[josephsworldoftaekwondo]

Your mother took great joy in your tears. I never let my mother see my cry, it wasn’t safe, she had no empathy

[RMRetief]

Damage to the MAX are the cards the narcissistic parent deals. It’s difficult because as a child you are helpless and as a an adult you have to reprocess and analyze ghosts of your past. Going NO CONTACT will begin to feel like a whole new world is open to you 💗😌

[kimedwards]

Hi Lisa, my Mom was just like your Mom. My Dad was not nice to her, he yelled A LOT! My Mom had alzheimers as well and passed away a few years ago. I believe that her mind couldn't take the abuse anymore so it chose to escape, leaving her body behind. I am so grateful that I got out of the narcissistic abuse of my family and my husband. I am now with a very loving and kind man and I have become a successful real estate investor. Thank you for these videos, you and many others on youtube helped me when my friends just didn't understand.

[cjb]

"The goal is to learn how to process our emotions so that the energy that has been stored can filter through our bodies and be released." I love that you said this, Lisa! I was well over 50 when I finally discovered the word that described the "thing" that had so severely harmed my life -- NARCISSISM. What an epiphany that was. I'd gone for therapy on and off several times throughout my life and I suppose it helped to talk things out but I never felt that I was getting any answers for why I felt so lost, so sick inside, so unloved, so abandoned and so intolerably alone. I thought it was ALL me, that I was sick, crazy, out of my mind, about to go insane and never recover. Always believing I was on the edge of insanity. I didn't trust in myself, I thought I was a "corrupt" person, I believed I was "no good", I had no confidence, I couldn't be spontaneous, I even thought I wasn't good enough or smart enough to attend college or university. I thought "I'm not one of them". I wouldn't fit in in other words. I was a bundle of nerves. That's the hell I went through in my 20s and 30s. I had forever known that my parents' marriage was dysfunctional, and that there was something wrong but it was never defined or diagnosed. When visiting a counselor one day, she inadvertently said something about it being clear that my mother was a narcissist. Suddenly I stopped her and said, "Wait a second, is that what she is, a narcissist?" Yes, it was true. A light bulb turned on in my mind and only then was I able to start sorting through the quagmire of distorted beliefs that I'd acquired about myself growing up in a toxic family. I wasn't just "picked on" in a healthy way, I was ridiculed and insulted and punished for so many things I said or did. I was a good and well behaved, polite girl but no one would have thought so if they knew how I was being treated at home. Knowing about the framework of narcissism, I was finally able to see how my truth had been manipulated (gaslighting) -- how I had been presented TO MYSELF through my mother's distorted mental vision. AND how she had presented me to her relatives. (I had seen evidence of it in letters she wrote, but she didn't know it.) It finally became possible for me to stop myself when a painful memory came to me, and bring it up to consciousness by really focusing on it and allowing myself to FEEL the trauma of it in my body and let it out. For all those years, I'd let the hurt be buried inside of me unacknowledged. But I didn't realize it. It's a survival thing. The first time I consciously, mindfully let a memory be released (and you have to hold onto it so it can't retreat again to hide in your gut), I was in the kitchen and I had to lean over the counter as my body shook while I moaned with relief and sobbed almost convulsively. It was out! Until that moment, I'd had no idea how to find the key to my traumatized feelings. A realization came to me that previously, when a painful thought arose, I had unknowingly and automatically shoved it back so that I wouldn't feel the emotional discomfort in my body, but that time was different; I was alert to the habit of NOT feeling the hurt that I otherwise might have felt the very moment the trauma took place. When your emotional life is forbidden, you hide it. You cannot show to the abuser that you are indignant, hurt, offended, or appalled by their abuse. But that day, I was able to bring up this rising memory and allow it to flow. I'd read about it, heard about it, in many different ways -- "let it go", "get in touch with your feelings", "the trauma hides in your gut", "you have to get it out", "the body is affected by trauma too, it's not just your mind that is damaged", and so on. And yet I had no way of knowing the precise way to GET THAT. And it is so simple: it takes awareness. And THAT takes knowledge, maybe therapy. This happened spontaneously one day. In the back of my mind for some time had been the words of my counselor: "You can let yourself feel it, you know". She surprised me. I didn't know it that instant, yet she had witnessed me push something back right before her eyes, and she had planted a little seed with her words. Processing it made me see. You can heal, and you have to listen to your body. Thank you for the work you do and for all the other professionals who like you, are helping to heal the victims of this narcissistic world. It's funny how, when we were children, we were told the story of Narcissus without anyone really explaining what it meant in everyday life. Finally, we're getting answers in this Age of Incivility. How ironic!

[Ortizo]

Wow. The way she described her mother fit right in with mine. I really needed to hear this

[OrahLoves]

Thank you for your work and ministry Lisa. It’s empowering to know so many other people get this about narcissistic abuse. The narcissistic parent will gaslight and shame about being the scapegoat, even when it’s so painfully obvious by the horrific repeated abuse, even as an adult; over and over and over again. ENOUGH!

I like your diagram. It’s extremely helpful!

[pattyn.]

Omgosh this video hit me in the gut like a ton of bricks. Not only for myself but for my bonus children!. ESPECIALLY the youngest. Ugh. How did I not see this in their mother!. Or MY one parent!.

[erikagarza]

Thank you so much Lisa 💓 You have been part of my healing journey ❤. I am 28 years old and healing.

[sarahswan]

Thank you so much for this video! It makes complete sense now why a lot of people experience PTSD after they begin to awaken.

[treesforlifeong]

That is true. In truth i have always had this underlying anxiety that i tried to distract myself from, and once you remove the distraction, the always present anxiety shows completly. Now it is just a matter of observing it as you observe your own breath

[lunachick]

Holy smokes this is crazy--just this week I've been having pretty severe anxiety attacks of which I have never experienced before, and I realized that this is the exact reason. Someone at my work is hyper critical which I've now discovered triggers my issues with my NPD father. I was bursting into tears out of nowhere. Now I know I'm truly feeling my feelings. You're an angel, Lisa. Thank you ❤️

[nancybartley]

It is very confusing to know you lived in a house but nobody saw you. You think that the fact that you are there means they have to value you. But one day you wake up and realize they were simply fulfilling an obligation. You are so grateful for the food, the clothes and feel so bad for wanting them to really want you, to need you.

[autumnnite]

I'm 48 and just starting my recovery. My narc dad died many years ago but the realisation and acceptance of his abuse both mental and physical has only just truly hit me. When he died I was relieved  but I was still living under the veil, as you say, so nothing really changed. My dad turned my entire family, mum and two siblings into co dependent shows of ourselves, of life and love and everything. He did a damn good job of making sure we were well and truly FU by him and his madness. None of us have married or had any good relationships. We are all, my older sister and brother, just kinda existing through life but not really living it.  I hope the lady in this does not feel guilt or remorse for no contact with her but remains strong and determined to now start living her life for herself, as I plan on doing. Thank you Lisa, you are truly a heaven sent angel to guide us to the light of recovery, namaste xx

[pinkbutterfly]

Just realized that im definitely married to a covert narcissst for 16 yrs now, and im very codependent. Im finally getting help. Thanks so much for your videos!

[creator]

The universe senses the shift. That's help right there.

[theresaconley]

Thank You Lisa for your dedication on educating and healing from the toxicity that is destroying lives continuously. I am so thankful, blessed and on the healing journey. Layer by layer the poison is being extracted and discarded from my being. Thank You Lisa for being here.

[thesuperjacobshow]

At 40 years old I realized that I was abused by a narcissistic father enabled by my mother. My wife and I moved away from them to raise our 5 kids in a safe and loving environment. I'm being very careful to avoid narcissistic behavior and its a struggle. But my kids won't have to go through what I went through.