Why do people get divorced?

[Psych]

In my opinion cheating is typically the icing on the cake in an already disconnected relationship. I don’t think most people that are happily married and say to themselves I want to go cheat on my spouse today. The relationship is already in turmoil before cheating happens.

[thesignman]

He's the first person to tell both sides of love : feeling & verb - an action that you do to/ for someone else intentionally. It's not always a feeling.

[Sharroniw]

He's talking about infatuation. There's a difference between infatuation and love.

[retromom]

People are immature and think someone else can fill their empty narcissistic hole. Real marriage is for stable, responsible adults that respect their best friend, lover, partner (that is one person😊) through sickness & health, richer or poorer. And it may not be 50/50 every day .

[andrewsledge]

Love is a commitment, not just a feeling

[danblumel]

He's absolutely right, it takes more than emotion to be a marriage foundation.

[rosemarietolentino]

Even the Bible says you must toil at your marriage. People don’t know how to become one in there marriage. Yes.

[sleepyancient]

And this is why "try before you buy" when it comes to sex is one of the worst things you can do for your future marriage prospects. The sex just makes ignoring red flags all too easy, then the breakup happens way later than it otherwise would have, and instead of dating 5-10 people in a year at age 18 and being married by age 20 (this is a generalization overall, there are always exceptions) with a 25% divorce rate, we're seeing dating for 5 years and getting married at 30 with a 50% divorce rate (again, a generalization).

[danielbaldwin]

I felt all the things he said when it comes to love. I felt them for the woman who is now my wife, 5 years in and I still love her. But for the majority of the time I don't feel the tingle. However, my relationship with my wife has matured. Our love for one another is based on many things, but narrowing it down with the 4 center stage ones being love, friendship, trust, and a big one being our faith as Christians.

[NCWildHeART]

Women need love. And men need respect. Ephesians 5:33

[gregbell]

Can confirm. My divorce is just getting started. I did everything I could over the years to show her I love her and all I got in return by the end was arguing and ridiculous claims of disrespect. I eventually got fed up of all the claims of disrespect and asked her outright how she wanted to be respected. To this day she still can't answer the question. She has no clue what more she wants from me because there isn't anything more. I've done everything I could for this woman, especially taking care of her through her chronic illnesses, surgeries, giving birth, and loss. I've gotten into cooking, couples and individual counseling, and going to the gym with and for her. I've been our child's primary caregiver as well, especially when her illnesses and surgeries have left her incapacitated. I take care of the home as much as I can, too. She doesn't have to do or worry about much, as stress makes her illnesses worse. And yet I'm still a horrible, disrespectful, insecure, tiny-dick narcissist. According to her, that is. I've spent a LOT of time trying to figure out how that works. I've finally decided enough is enough. If I'm putting all this work into our relationship and family and getting nothing but hate in return I'm done. On the bright side she's finally realizing just how big of a mistake she's made. Unfortunately, it's far too late. I can't do this anymore and refuse to give this yet ANOTHER chance. So if there's anyone out there who feels like they can take care of a woman with bipolar type 1, Crohn's disease, possible personality disorders and adhd, as well as an income of exactly $0.00 until, and if, her disability gets approved, hit me up and I'll give you her contact info. She needs to GO so there can finally be peace in our home.

[emilysheldon]

Moral of the story: don't get married if you're not ready for the verb form of love

[chautran]

Connection is the main thing. I like that. ❤

[williamcarter]

My parents divorced when I was only eight. Although I love them, there is a side of me that wishes I would have cut off all contact with them years ago. Although they were never once abusive or neglectful, I blame their divorce for why I’m more introverted and shy in a social setting. Unless you have lived through it at a young age, you have no idea what it does to the children long term.

[marcelw]

70% of divorces are filed by women 45-55: no one can deny that the vast majority of divorces are hormonally-induced catastrophes. My therapist said that even she was headed for divorce until a colleague made her listen to herself and compare her views to those of her own patients.

[baudmarch]

I don't want to expose my life or my wife whom I love, but for the last two months I've been hurting a lot because she doesn't seem to have quite grasp the "verb" aspect of love despite my frequent allusions to the fact that the infatuation, the "feeling" aspect of it would not last forever. 2 months ago she realized that she didn't "feel" love anymore and doesn't seem to work for it to come back (there has been no cheating though). I'm essentially just waiting in repressed anguish for my marriage to die despite all my best efforts, barely 9 months after the wedding.
This video hurts because it's exactly spot on.

[meganhale]

Too many people get married too fast and for the wrong reasons which is why they don't last. A lot of people are in love with the idea of being in love and married. There's nothing wrong with that, we all want love and to know there will always be that person in our corner. This is just my perspective and what works in my marriage but every couple is different and has different values and priorities. There's no right or wrong way, it's about what works for you, your spouse, and your family. We've been happily married for 20 yrs but it wasn't always easy. You can't put everything on your spouse. You both need to have your own interests and stay committed. If you're feeling a type of way about something then talk to your spouse. And if you are instead of automatically going to point out what you think you're spouse is doing wrong or not doing look at your own behavior to see how your behavior is contributing to the dynamic. A marriage has two people, you're a team so approach and tackle everything together and equally.

[chubbbubb]

Plant a garden, flowers, vegetables it doesn't matter. If you can keep that garden thriving and healthy, you're likely ready for marriage. Now you need to make sure the other person can keep a garden as well. Even then, you need a hood bit of luck. But the rewards are too numerous to count.

[legomelt]

Cheating is the outcome of the problem which cause a divorce

[gforceforever]

I don't fall in love. I grow in love. Falling is never a good thing!