Divorce Lawyers Give Relationship Advice | Glamour

It's estimated that about half of marriages end in divorce. Why are so many people getting divorced, and how can you prevent splitting up with your spouse? We asked four divorce lawyers what they've learned in their practice on how to keep your marriage alive.

Divorce Lawyers Give Relationship Advice | Glamour

[donparkison]

To sum up what they said. Dont marry the person you think your partner will one day become, but marry the person they are right now. Too many people fall in love with a fictional version of their partner and that is why they get surprised and hurt when that person never materializes. You are not training a dog, you are spending your life with an individual and if you want to change that individual in significant ways, then it means you dont really respect them and your marriage is doomed.

[I.areejmm]

The first lawyer is really smart, well spoken, tv type of person. I could spend an hour listening to hem. He should start his own YouTube channel

[tomemery]

Don't only judge a potential husband/wife by how they treat you. Look just as much at how they treat others. A few years down the line when the honeymoon period is over they are likely to treat you the same way.

[rhiannonb]

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

[LSergei]

"Marry well and you'll be happy. Marry badly and you'll become a philosopher, "- Socrates

[aisuxtime]

Jokes aside, they’re dishing out solid, reasonable advice.

[SLCtica]

My parents have been together 35 years since they were 22; They grew up in the 70's. Observing them I realize that you have to accept and love the other person. I observed that they forgave easily, spoke honestly, and often diffused tension with humor. Both were willing to lose some (even if they were right), because at the end of the day they love each other, and no petty thing topped that sentiment. Lastly, the respect they show each other is probably the most striking thing about their relationship. Growing up my parents got mad and had disagreements like anyone, but I never once saw them yelling at each other or mistreating each other in any way. They grumbled, they stewed, they needed time alone, but somehow 35 years later, there they are: still holding hands when they walk down the street together.

[andreav]

If you wouldn't want that person as a roommate, don't marry them. This one thing would eliminate a fair number of divorces.

[hipsepipse]

My parents both studied law and they used to give out a book called "Die rechtlichen Folgen der Ehe"(The legal consequences of marriage) as engagement presents.

[GreekFreakyJoker]

"I still get teary eyed in weddings". Well duh, those might be some future clients.

[JJ-yuog]

Be their cheerleader and be connected to them. That means: Empathy and understanding. Not narcissisism or selfishness.

[jamesnash]

"Doing a prenup forces couples to talk about finances before they get married". Great advice because most couples don't talk about money before getting married. This should include a financial disclosure to reveal any and all hidden debt. And that includes student loans and credit card debt.

[kkenny]

1. Understand that marriage is a serious legal commitment
2. Know exactly what you want in a spouse, and realize they may not change
3. Definitely talk about your finances
4. An exciting girlfriend or boyfriend might not make a good spouse
5. If you do have to get a divorce, try to stay calm

[bendizzy]

It must be so awkward for these lawyers to be invited to weddings.

[hannanigukkie]

"Your expectation is need to be communicated early" agree.. they really give good advice..

[infinityevr]

My parents have been married for 60 years. Their example was respect, mutual interests, similar goals, a good sense of humor, respect, commitment, intelligence, wisdom, and above all, respect.

[oujiRui]

A thread: divorce lawyers make great marriage counselors

[anastasia]

I think the fact that nobody has any concept that marriage and engagement are a signed contract is wierd. as the lawyer said, people think choosing the cake is more important than the financial contract they are signing and how it can affect their lives..

[_alanawalker]

Now that I think about it, a prenup doesn’t sound that awful or selfish. In a way it’s making sure that you don’t have the burden of your spouses debt

[antoniasinfield]

This needs to be featured in women's magazines much, much more, instead of the wedding dresses, cakes and rings. Is it romantic? No. But it could save many marriages.