Why People Get Divorced | Jordan Peterson

Jordan Peterson insights on divorce and relationships.

⚠️ Subscribe to @JordanBPeterson @DrJordanBPetersonClips

📚 Jordan Peterson Book Suggestion:
(affiliate link)

ABOUT DR. JORDAN PETERSON

Jordan Peterson is a renowned Canadian psychologist, author, and professor, widely acclaimed for his profound insights into the human psyche and his contributions to the field of psychology. With an illustrious career spanning several decades, Dr. Jordan Peterson has earned a remarkable reputation for his thought-provoking ideas and transformative teachings.

Peterson's academic achievements are truly exceptional. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Alberta and has served as a professor at the University of Toronto. Throughout his career, he has published numerous influential papers and articles, making significant contributions to the field. Notably, his work on personality psychology and the psychology of religious and ideological belief systems has garnered widespread recognition.

One of the striking indicators of Peterson's impact is his exceptional citation count on Google Scholar of over 20,000 citations. His research has been cited by scholars and researchers worldwide, highlighting the significance and relevance of his ideas. This recognition reflects the profound influence he has had on the academic community and the intellectual discourse surrounding psychology.

⚠️ Jordan Peterson on Google Scholar:

[smoly]

Ever tried to negotiate with a narcissist?
I don't agree. BOTH parties have to be willing.

[silvietee]

When the trust is broken. Deceit, betrayalis the worst thing that can happen in a marriage be it finacial, infidelity or both. Once this happens the relationship is contaminated, it cannot be salvaged.

[annieseaside]

I married a man who was a closet drunk and abused the hell out of me, threw me down stairs, tackled me, choked me out while pregnant. I was so ill with Preeclampsia I was told I could not travel. My son arrived at 30 weeks. As soon as he was out of NICU I put my newborn in the car and drove a thousand miles north to home, to save our lives. My ex intended to kill me for the Life Insurance and already had planned his next wedding to his mistress. Divorce was my only option. While in theory young people should try harder and linger that advice does not apply in all cases.

[r.walker]

Some problems are not meant to be solved, sometimes they are a sign you picked the wrong person and you need to move on. There is nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake and resetting. "Solving problems" often times is really just chipping away at yourself and what you know, need, feel, and what makes you uncomfortable in order to "fit" with someone you want to fit in with but are not really meant for. And in doing that you end up stuck with this wrong person and never actually get to be with the person you were actually made to be with...

[williamhamilton]

This is operating under the assumption that both parties understood their vows and what marriage was. That both parties are willing or capable of negotiating, and that the marriage was valid and isn't either being totally undermined by one or both partners, OR that the marriage wasn't a fascade to use the other in some pyschopathic sense.

[timbo]

48 yrs old married 23yrs. Sex only 2-3 times a year for 8-10 yrs. I've been a good boy. Its gotten old, embarrassing, and im tired of it. it's time to sub out. Whatever happens, happens. Im not living the last 20 or whatever years the same way ive spent the last 15

[missescookie]

My husband literally fell apart mentally and became an abusive alcoholic 10 yrs into our 20 yr marriage. Tried helping him in every way- went to therapy with him, and found him specialists to figure out his mood disorders too. When I was diagnosed with blood cancer he completely shut down. That was the last straw for me and so I left. And at the time I was jobless (had appts and treatments myself first year into my diagnosis). I’m sick and was treated like garbage, and I have to rebuild my life alone in my 50s. Thank goodness I now have a full time job but due to the disease I’m always exhausted. My ex betrayed me in the worst way. “In sickness and in health” what a joke. Never ever again for me.

[davemcmullen]

When you get older what matters the most is your family...The product of a life spent working at a marriage...still married to the same woman for 40yrs...have no regrets.

[ChessTube]

He focus a lot on saving relationships. If there are no kids, it's probably not worth the hassle. Start afresh with someone better while trying to give the best version of yourself

[hanselpollack]

Oddly, my very well bred Southern mother said, “Be a lady in the parlor, and a lady of the night in the bedroom.”😊

[krystlebatt]

You can't expect what you can't express...

[VincentVindicated]

Ex-wife surpsied me by saying she was done with the marriage over us wanting different things in life, but never explaining what those differences were or talking it out.

[annabanzon]

This is so true. I decided to make myself happy and to ride.this marriage out. It's not terrible, but temptations are everywhere. If I don't see this marriage out to the end, I will never know what to do in my next marriage or relationship. Besides I have hobbies and talents within myself that no marriage or relationship will ever develop. I need to develop and grow those things myself.

[andrewwolkowich]

Found out six years into the relationship she owed over 36, 000. And moved in with me to disappear and married me had two children with me so that when we divorce should get more money. Within 3 Days of our separation I found out she was a lesbian despised men all along and I was merely a means to an end

[Valetic]

How do we deal with the stigma surrounding divorce?

I’m in a 15 year relationship where we found the core of our problems rooted in developmental disorders that we addressed too late in the relationship.

She lacks the ability to have emotional reciprocity and cannot perform household chores. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, being a home maker. I’d spend a day cleaning the whole house after working over 60 hours and she’d spend 3 hours picking one load of dirty clothes out of our bedroom corner that literally touched the ceiling.

No time management. Late for everything. But again the biggest issue isn’t the extra load I have to carry, it’s the complete lack of reciprocation in the relationship.

I went off the deep end, had a long distance emotional affair. I broke it off a long time ago but I still think about her and the kind of life I should’ve had instead of feeling like I’ve been bamboozled.

I tried to work on things with her but I realize now there are things that just can’t change. I’ve had one foot out the door and thought she would grow up at some point and our intimacy would blossom. But sadly, that is just impossible because of who I am and what I need.

She can’t do what she needs to in order for me to fall in love. And she can’t force it to happen either. But we are married and I don’t want to be someone who can’t keep my word. But I don’t want either of us to be miserable, even if she claims to be happy with me.

Maybe id be a fool for leaving such a loyal and good woman, but I feel like I’m also a fool for marrying her in the first place. The truth came out too late after I impulsively pushed us into marriage after dating so long I couldn’t wait any more, either we get married and she straightens up or I have to go.

She would do anything to keep herself from being apart from me. In ways it’s been unhealthy and unnatural. In ways it’s sweet and sad at the same time.

I love her as a person, I care about her, I want her to be happy, and if she’s happy with me I want to give that to her, but I don’t know how to be happy myself in this relationship where my needs are void and I’m only here because she’s a good girl and I already said I do and she doesn’t have the mental fortitude to leave a cheater and I don’t have the mental fortitude to leave a handicapped person.

[molassescricket]

Wonder what Dr. Peterson would say about marrying someone, who after some years develops multiple personality disorders, and becomes abusive, and cheats?

[lareau]

The commitment is rarely two ways. The problem with marriage now, and why I did not mary her is the automatic gain in net worth she has and the no cost and easy divorce. It's like subsidsidizing her to leave me. One put hundred of thousand and pension on the line and the other put a promise.

[chris]

Love the music (and the content) - does that 'song' have a name?

[isabellfox]

The theory of all of this sounds ok, however, people rarely reveal their true selves until you live with them, and even then when there is a problem I agree honest dialogue can work but only if both parties are will to (a) actually dialogue and (b) actually be honest without resorting to cruelty to prove their point because human nature will always come down on the side of protecting yourself/your feelings and when cornered into a 'frank and honest discussion' especially if there has been infidelity etc people will always try to defend there actions. Then unless you can overcome it, it can and often does become death by a thousand paper cuts - insults/backhanded compliments/criticism/on and on until - and very often there is one partner willing to actually work on problems/issues etc and one looking for an excuse to go because they really are not invested maybe they never really were and were caught up in the anticipation of soemthing that never materialised who knows so though I am sure JP and his wife didn't have an easy time with this perhaps the fact that they were both willing to participate and had a will to be together made a lot of difference - that has not been my experience personally not with people I have encountered through my I agree with many of the comments below trust is a massive issue and not just when related to infidelity but that of course is a massive issue because of the damage it does to both parties actually but especially the person not commiting the

[nccountry]

Divorce does not end the relationship. When children are involved, you have to share custody of your children. There is no healing, no escape, and no moving forward with your life until you stop seeing and communicating with your ex.