Do narcissistic relationships lead to self--sabotage?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[davidJohnsonguitarguy]

The home that I was raised in I was literally stomped on at the age of 9. It was screamed in my head, "Kids should be seen and not heard!!!, F***in kids are the ruination of the world!!!, F***in kids are stupid!!!!" The mental abuse came from both metaphorically broke both my arms and legs then told to fly at What a trip.... The amount of narcissists I have encountered in my adult life is nothing less than shocking. Trying to find someone who is so called healthy, and safe to be around is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack.

[sparkygump]

I grew up in a narcissistic family and was brought up to believe I was stupid and had no self confidence. It took marrying and being discarded by two narcissists to shock myself out of that way of thinking. Thank you, Dr. Ramani for helping me climb out of that morass and becoming the centered man I finally am.

[julieb]

During one of my narc relationships, I was offered a promotion. I turned it down because I knew the narc would find a way to ruin it for me. Years later, after I left the narc, I was offered another promotion. I accepted that offer and am now a supervisor for a fortune 500 company. Better late than never!

I said it before and I'll say it again; THANK YOU Dr. Ramani! On behalf of all survivors, we appreciate all you do!!

[richardlandis]

Sabotage? DEAR LADY, YOU ARE EXACTLY CORRECT. 1. Health is affected by stress caused by the relationship, by paranoia about what and what not to eat that will be approved or disapproved by the narc, and simply by spending mealtimes with the narc. 2. Being, as the French would say, an Idiot Savant. Therefore having little of no time for yourself. 3. The feeling of physical and mental exhaustion at the end of the day. 4. To all who suffer from this, REMEMBER: Your physical and mental wellbeing is top priority always, especially in such, or coming out of such, a relationship. This is not to say to be selfish. This is to say keep yourself fit as much as possible to better perform your activities and your interactions with others. May peace and serenity be with you always. 😊😊😊

[carolynsirianni]

I had extreme Narcissistic abuse from my mother. I procrastinate& I now can’t even leave my apartment at times. I can’t get out there certain days. I did go No Contact 3 years ago when I realized the truth of my childhood.

[QMommy]

it took me going through a narcissist relationship to realize that my family was narcissistic as well. it took my soon to be ex husband doubting me to realize my family doubted me as well. i’ve been passionate about real estate for as long as i can remember & i finally took the curious (after years of my family not really listening to my aspirations & passions) my husband said “are you even going to do it? are you even going to finish?” at that moment i realized he never cared about me or my aspirations. we’re now in the middle of a divorce, but i’m determined more than ever to go & finish when this is over! thank you Dr. Ramani for your dedication in teaching the world about narcissist behaviors & what to expect. 💕💕

[carolynkepler]

Talk above perfect timing! The narcs are out of my life but I still turn to food to feel better. I also procrastinate. I’m really afraid of success.

[JennyGaston]

Thanks for sharing. There is a sense of helplessness when you are in a relationship with a narcissist and that you can't escape their rage no matter what you do.

[thesaltysorbet]

I was in college when I met him. Within 4 months he convinced me college was useless and I could learn everything I needed to from him. 24 yrs later I’m divorced and struggle with low self-esteem, procrastination, and feel inferior around people with a college degree. We even owned our business equally, contributed equally, and he took such a center stage that I ended up feeling worthless and stupid.

[E.K.]

I knew if I worked hard and had success, my narc fathe would either take credit for it or would make me feel like my efforts weren't good enough. My narc mother was always dismissive. Underachieving was a safe place.

[tionnatiara]

My narcissistic ex told me he didn’t think I had what it takes to follow my dreams. I believed him and I still kind of do. But I’m trying to get rid of the voice. Thank you Dr. Ramani

[vappole]

"Recognising that there is no safe direction to go to, and so we stop moving". Beautifully put <3

[janeloraine]

Yes, this is it exactly. The voices of chronic abuse on a looped tape in my head, telling me I'll never succeed, warning me I better not succeed… Being present, and mindful is difficult with all that noise. Thank you for clarity, Dr Ramani.

[bountybreaks]

I found that starting light breath work just as you start to wake up, and greeting the Sun for a minute first thing in the morning (when possible)…brings me into a more present state of mind☀️

[kwarduavanderpuye]

Growing up one of my narc-mum's nicknames for me was "cc" short for clumsy clot. I used to bump into things and fall down a lot. It was eventually discovered that I was nearsighted and needed glasses! It took several years of therapy for CPTSD to stop spontaneously tripping and falling up stairs, crossing the street, etc. My mother laughed on hearing of an especially frightening incident of me; accidentally falling into an empty water tank! It's taken years to get her cackle and expectations of my failing out of my head. I'm no contact since COVID. I can finally relax enough to stop fearing a tragic trip and fall while walking tall and enjoy dancing again.

[p.w.]

I second guess myself and procrastinate when it comes to things like reaching out to others and gift giving. I worry that my offerings will not be good enough. Even today, I am procrastinating sending a sympathy card to someone that I used to live with. I'm afraid I'm being intrusive and that I'll write the wrong thing and make it worse.

[erikavaleries]

It feels like self protection to avoid the wrath & sabotage of my abuser

[stevenkeller]

Caged in trauma bond...that is the feeling. In my weakness I let the narc define me. I became exactly what she was trying to teach our children I was in my own head. I turned to weed, couldn't work, ended up at the bottom moving back with parents, and my youngest son completely turned on me. I almost lost my very life because of this persons narrative I let define me. Not proud of what I let myself turn into. But this was time to embrace my darkest fears and today the only fear I feel is for my children. So thank you x, you changed my life through great suffering and now I am no longer in question of who I am. These narcs will make you a titan if you hold fast and let your feelings work for you and not against you...patience and time. May the good lord bless everyone of you suffering. 🙏

[makaylahollywood]

Yes, it destroys your mind, your beliefs and eventually your spirit.

[raysamichelle]

Ramani you are looking like a wonderful spirit of wisdom all in white. Thanks for sharing your light.