Can trauma lead a person to become narcissistic?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[susanlacey]

My husband was abused as a child....in more ways than one and some of it was at the hand of his mother. He took that abuse and turned it around. He's a better father, husband, brother because of it. He doesn't blame anyone. He owns his trauma and recognizes his PTSD triggers. He's way stronger than I'll ever be. I am so proud of him.

[matthewrizzo]

“There is no excuse for abuse. There are explanations, but no excuse.” 🙌🏼

[scottmatznick]

Trauma led me to have narcissistic traits, but the difference is I was able to recognize them and amend my actions and manner of thinking. Ironically, I was only able to do so once confronted with a true narcissist and saw similar traits.

[detoate]

I witnessed in my family a child raised by a narcissistic mother becoming a narcissist while her brothers didn't. They all picked up bad habits and twisted ways of relating by living in the same house, but it's just not the same. Even though the narcissistic person looks like it's handling life a lot better than the rest of us, actually it takes more inner strength to remain with an open heart (as little as it might be) in the face of childhood trauma. It was, the same with me and my sister, we were both severely abused and neglected, but I always felt like I was the lucky one to grow out of it. I don't judge them and I understand what kind of hardship creates a narcissist, but I still keep my distance, exactly how I don't judge a crocodile for being a crocodile, but I know if given the chance it wont think twice about biting my head off.

[janeene]

My husband stopped going to therapy because of it getting to “head shrinky”. He never dealt with his issues. As a result there was no change. He is everything you described. The smallest things set him off and you never know when it’s coming. I recently left and I’m good with that decision. But I started to feel bad like it’s my fault. I think, in part, because that’s what he’s telling everyone because it was my decision to leave. Thank you for this video. It really helped to strengthen my resolve and helps me to see that I’m doing the right thing.

[alsam]

“But, you HAVE TO feel sorry for him because his parents abused him. “. He abused me. Why doesn’t anyone have to feel sorry for me?
Can’t tell you how many times I was told to feel sorry for him.

[carolynj]

I told my ex that I was scared of him a couple times (I don’t know why, I guess I thought he didn’t know and that if I told him he would feel bad and change 🤷🏻‍♀️ ). He got angry with me and told me that I should know him well enough by now to be able to handle his behavior and not be affected by it….? I’m happily single now, thank God lol

[l.]

When my narc ex-husband used the excuse of his abusive father as a cause for his own behaviour, I reminded him that I too had an abusive mother, but I made a decision NOT to be like her. I told him he can break the chain. I commended him for recognizing that his father was abusive, and it was his choice what he did with that understanding. Unfortunately, he seemed to think his father's way of handling things showed strength and although he despised how his father treated him, he also aspired to have that level of strength and control himself now (something he was deprived of while growing up). He became increasingly abusive until he actually started to be physically violent, so I ended up divorcing him. I think they know what they are doing, and even WHY they are doing it. They made a choice. Don't cut them any slack.

[Bubblies]

I noticed that ever since I was young I felt responsible for my parent’s emotional well-being. Even today I still do it. I have been in therapy for a long time and still have anxiety around my Mom.

[emmanuelking]

8:50..."That is NOT a relationship folks, that is psychological imprisonment." 💥

This is why Dr. Ramani is the best in her field, gets to the real heart of the matter and makes ZERO excuses for narcissistic abuse.

As Dr. Ramani just said...'don't be someone's punching bag' ✔

[jannlewandowski]

I certainly believe childhood trauma can lead to any psychological problem, but I agree that it does not necessarily make a person a narcissist. Very good video...

[chitrahkarthigeyan]

In my case, I did have a tough time in my younger days, regulating emotions and parts narcissistic behaviour tendencies.

The problem is, with all the years of projection, gas lighting and being told I was the problem, I really thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me.

It has been a long and painful road of unmasking, doing the work, recognising some of my own mismanaged coping systems and then slowly teasing out what was labels put on me, and finally finding myself.

Yes, there are ppl who use this as an excuse and go on to hurt others. Perhaps some are not cognizant, some are.

But if any of you survivors grew up in a family system feel like you are the problem, I hope you find your true self and inner peace.

Much love ❤️

[rwdchannel]

I've had a lot of trauma starting at one years old. My biological father branded me and fractured my skull. Then I was put into a foster home where they would spank me for wetting the bed. At 5 years old I was adopted into a family with highly narcissistic parents who were both mentally and physically abusive. I joined the military at age 18 to get away from them. That's why I'm here watching these videos at age 40 trying to continue to improve my life after finally getting free from these people after 35 years life.

[laminage]

Yes, trauma is a major part of a narcistic's life. They were hurt so they hurt the folks in their life and they don't apologize because obody apologized to them.

[kryssysmith]

My older sister and I grew up with two narcissists who brought us up, (they REALLY did a number on us, she and I were treated like the scapegoats while our two brothers were treated like the golden children just to give you a little perspective). She turned out like them, and I turned out to be anything like my narcissist (I'm an empath).
I sympathize and empathize with my older sister, (only for the mere fact that it's what she was taught), at the end of the day she is still human and she still has feelings. Trust me I am not making any excuses for her or condoning what she did to me. I'm just glad I don't have the drama in my life, despite what has happened, my sanity has become SO MUCH CLEARER since I got rid of ALL OF MY narcissist around me. I will NEVER EVER let another narcissist in my life again (I actually vowed that to myself yesterday believe it or not).

[ashleighschneider]

I've been with someone who had a terribly traumatic upbringing that has shaped the way he views the world for 4 years now. He keeps me in this abusive and depressing relationship by playing on my empathy - and it works. He uses it as an excuse for his abuse and manipulation but it is really just an explanation for it. Well said, Dr. Ramani. This channel has given me so much clarity.

[sovereignsupreme]

I have experienced emotional abuse my entire life. My family does not support me in a way that makes me feel loved. My intimates rarely fail to disappoint and make me feel alienated. I think people go the extra mile to not give me recognition and appraisal when I deserve the essential human need to feel as though I belong. My societal conditioning taught me to think there is something wrong with being queer, alternative, or eclectic (I am an out and proud bisexual panromantic 💖💜💙). Also, I felt second class to my Christian parents and endured countless threats of physical violence every time I spoke up about their hypocrisy and mistreatment.

Moreover, I witnessed domestic violence between the ages of 4-6. My emotional distress reached new highs and caused me simultaneously experience new lows. I did not think I would survive childhood and adolescence. Whenever I reach out to my intimates, they ghost me as they grow tired of hearing that same story.

That said, I do have narcissistic tendencies and I hate this about myself. I am in therapy, thus in process of getting a diagnosis. I suspect I have multiple disorders, e.g., BPD, OCD, and ADD since I experience a cocktail of emotions that distorts my sense of self and reality -- it's likely I have a mood or anxiety disorder. Still, I struggle to forgive people who wrong me, stomach burning in the third degree. Lashing out creates more problems and I am thankful for increased self-awareness.

I take full accountability for the whole of my actions, aspiring to become better.

[MultiSenhor]

That's precisely the point. Those _are_ very confused and hurt people, in so many ways, confused about their feelings, about what the point of society or family or friends are, about their identity, about rights and obligations, about ethics (which they _know on paper_ but usually don't truly understand inside), about intimacy, about blame, about other people; but that's no excuse to hurt other people or to endure being hurt, or enabling and supporting bad behavior, even because it is not gonna help them get better anyways. Just like addicts, you won't help them by letting them keep doing it.

[angelaterry]

I've stopped begging my soon to be ex to get help to overcome his past trauma. Every attempt never got past 2 visits - the first being the "telling" and he is terrified of being vulnerable and completely resistant to change. Now, he's all for me being vulnerable and then weaponizing my past against me. As an empath, I have huge issues with abandoning anyone bc I myself have experienced so much of it. Videos like these, this information power, have helped me step away and realize...I'm nobody's Savior.

[robinbelliveau]

For me, trauma led me to the narcissistic relationship. I was all too empathetic to them, but at the same time took ALL the blame for everything because, after all, we both believed that I was the damaged one. It was by working through my own trauma that I finally saw what was going on in my relationship. The other person never addressed their own trauma & still hasn’t. Now I am the one being accused of narcissism (publicly) with my own private trauma used as the “proof.” It’s incredibly frustrating to have my own trauma history used against me, and even more so while my young adult children watch.