EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE PARENTS: BREAKING DOWN THE 'YES' ASSESSMENT QUESTIONS

LINK FREE CHECKLIST: DO MY PARENTS HAVE BORDERLINE OR NARCISSISTIC TRAITS?
AND FREE COURSE: IDENTIFYING CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT

This video uses the checklist in "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents..." by Lindsay C Gibson, PsyD. and it breaks down how the answers to the assessment questions might impact our lives if we answer "yes."

Additionally, while the book explores "emotionally immature parents" - many of the behaviors can also be seen in parents who struggle with Narcissim and/or Borderline or other personality types.

*********At the end of each video in this series focused on the emotional impact of wounding parents - there will be a JOURNAL QUESTION-- if you would like to explore the concepts further.

XOXO

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* S O C I A L*

@drkimsage on Tik Tok:/Daily Mental Health Content:

Instagram: @drkimsage

I AM SO EXCITED TO SHARE THAT BY THE END OF SEPTEMBER 2021, I
WILL BE SHARING SOME COURSES ON THINKIFIC.COM!

[cory]

The facts / logic section really hits home. I was always called argumentative for voicing these thoughts. I thought something was wrong with me but now as I get older realize that they don't think they can be wrong and I was encountering their cognitive dissonance. Unfortunately this creates a fork: Remaining silent and going with it at the cost of a mutual relationship and not feeling heard, or voicing your opinion and creating a wedge in the relationship. If you pick the latter option, in their eyes you are now the bad kid / the immature one who needs to grow up or get help. They do not compromise, they are entirely blind to it.

"You'll understand when you're older." And that's that, case closed.

[RS]

At different points in my life when I struggled with health issues or major anxiety due to life stress, my mom would say, 'don't get so stressed out about it.' She is one of the most anxious people I know, and grabs her smokes every time a hint of stress arises. It's almost laughable b/c she has zero awareness of how she created such hypervigilance in me when I was young w/ her mood swings, paranoia, and controlling behaviour (to name a few). I wonder if a lot of my health issues have stemmed from that relationship. It's a lot to work out.

[krystalwhite]

This is helpful, the relationship with my parents has always been odd and strained. My mother in particular has adult tantrums, sarcastic...you name it.
Trying to discuss her behavior's impact is extremely chaotic and it becomes an attack of my character

[DrKimSage]

Hope you all find this helpful!! xoxo

[QuantumSorceress]

I was just able to start the process of purchasing a home and my mother literally just called me at like 9PM when she's normally sleeping to tell me that she's worried that I'm getting scammed and blah blah. Like, WTF woman?! And then she had the nerve to pretend to be so proud of me. And yet, literally 2-minutes later you called me to tell me that you were worried that I was getting scammed by my license realtor and another licensed realtor to buy a fake house that isn't really for sale?! My god!

[alixeverson]

realizing lately both my parents were / are emotionally immature 😞 all this new info has been validating and a painful process at the same time

[LOVE_ALL_AROUND]

I have a work meeting with the owners of the corporate company I work for along with a business building session with my colleagues...next week. I was written up by my boss two weeks ago. She and I see things differently. In my 25 year career I have run form conflict or "perceived" conflict with authority figures and have left jobs. Definitely a flight response. I really, really, want to resolve this and not leave this job. I really love what I do just power struggles here and there. I am praying for resolution and the ability to step into my power.

[jajones-ford]

You described both of my parents, both of who were emotionally immature even though they were both in their late 20's when i was born.

[blehmma]

I'm struggling in the acceptance stage of my healing with a BPD mother. It has been painful because I can never make her understand what I'm feeling or the imprint she has left on me. Your videos make me feel seen

[denisejohnson]

You missed one. If you disagree, you're a know it all. Or you just wanna disagree for the sake of disagreeing.

[adiaromaine-figueroa]

Thank you for reminding me to breathe. I said yes to every single one. Kinda found myself needing those reminders lol.

[The.Collective.Objective.]

Painfully relatable. Thank you for what you're doing here. 🙏

[tiablasangoriti]

Gawd, You are so good Dr Kim.
This information is affirming, helpful and validating. It's nice to hear such wisdom from a brilliant beautiful woman who is caring and compassionate.

[manuscriptsdontburn]

Thank you for this video, I bought Lindsay C Gibson's books some time ago but wasn't able to read them due to lack of time however now I feel motivated to start asap. Greetings and good vibes to you :)

[jcooper]

This was very helpful! Helps me understand the situation much better now. Thank you for what you're doing here. Really appreciate it!

[fishiefish]

1. Often overreacted to relatively minor things
2. Didn’t express much empathy or emotional awareness
3. Often irritated by individual differences/points of view
4. Used you as a confidant but was not a confidant for you
5. Often said or did things without thinking about other people’s feelings
6. You didn’t get much attention or sympathy unless you were really sick
7. They were inconsistent: sometimes wise, sometimes unreasonable
8. If you were upset, they either said something superficial or unhelpful or got angry/sarcastic
9. Conversations are mostly about parent’s interests
10. Even polite disagreement can make parents very defensive
11. It was deflating to tell your parents about your success, it didn’t seem to matter
12. Facts and logic were no match for their opinions
13. 13:12 more past this point sorry no time

[inmed]

Thanks Dr Kim, Can you please make a video about mis-diagnosing daughters of BP moms with BP, when they are actually suffering from the consequences of being the child of BP mom. This might be tricky because daughters will try to copy some of the mom's behaviours as all children do, even as an adult. But giving these daughters the diagnosis of BPD and failing to see their real suffering and the cause of it could be really devastating, after they were the ones decided to step into a therapist office, have you experienced this in you practice ? please share it if yes.

[TaraHower]

How do you not let your feelings get hurt by someone with bpd like a friend or family member you see every so often who is always in an unpredictable mood?