5 Signs You Take Things Too Personally

DO you take things too personally? How do you know? Sometimes things are personal, right? Join me in this video for the five signs that you ARE taking things too personally. Taking things personally is very painful and identifying it is the first step in stopping it. Unless we recognize it, we can not stop taking things personally.

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Disclaimer:
This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via YouTube, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.

[CatLadyKorea]

This was so helpful! I'm going to download your worksheet and start working on it. Taking things too personally often leads to feeling like a victim all the time and makes you feel the need to explain and defend yourself to get affirmations, comfort and guidance most likely from the authority figure in the situation. I totally agree with you that it's closely linked to your childhood experiences. Looking forward to your next video. Thank you so much.

[silvanatauro]

This is a big issue for me as well as ruminating. Very helpful. Can't wait to hear next video on how to deal with it.

[carissahowell]

I am here watching this video because my 14 year old daughter and I got into a huge fight the other night and one of her comments to me was "you always take everything personally!".
So, in effort to better connect with her, I am trying to absorb everything that I can in order to stop taking things personally!!

[hellrose]

I think the biggest thing that people take personally is other people's opinions

[Jaxxie]

#1 really resonates with me. I will intensely personalize everything. I'm doing CBT work to try and overcome that. Your videos have been extremely helpful to me, and I truly appreciate you.

[privateprivate]

It’s difficult to not take things personally. I think the reason why, sometimes, is because when people are trying to be hurtful, sometimes they actually do want you to take it personally, to put you on the defense and to make sweat bead up on your forehead. But, oddly, one of the things that helps me to understand that I shouldn’t take it personally, is because people really don’t care about each other. Just saw a video on that. But, it was something I realized a long time ago. People may notice things about you, when they’re in competition with you other need something from you, for themselves. But, other than that, they may not notice you. I know I could go to work for a week, with one eye having eyeliner and the other not and maybe no one would notice. They “may” notice something is “different”, but maybe not be sure if what it is and they’re not going to try to find out. Sure wish they wouldn’t notice, if I played hooky. Also, this is, perhaps, because things are more complex now, some people are busier than they would’ve been a decade ago, there’s more people and competition in the world so maybe people’s energies and concentration is more inwardly- focused, for their own protection. For me, maybe I’m a bit strange because I do tend to notice a lot, but I’m more internally-referenced than some people I know. So, I may notice things, but I don’t have a lot of concern about the opinions of others, especially, if I know they’re not equipped to advise me. Maybe a lot of people are like that. I don’t know. Lastly, although I was my narcissistic mother’s target, I learned to not take things personally from her and just go no contact, because her behavior was a personal problem, having nothing to do with me.

[lindcobbs]

The point is how you handle the situations and not trying to figure out if you should take it personally or not. This is nothing more than a thing most people say when they’re trying to cover their ass.

[PennyConlan]

Interesting due to a recent situation and although I didn't take it personally, I interpreted it as that person may not be in alignment with my values...kind of a caution sign. When I was younger, this topic definitely applied a lot but I will use this information to reference if future situations occur and trigger those feelings. Thanks.

[amyj.]

#1. Yeap, and only to find out later, they hated the fact I wasn't chasing them
#2. I prefer some constructive critique, because I want to perform better. And I am accused, of being a "perfectionist"
#3. I have been guilty of this, only to show up around that group and all of a sudden they get quiet and roll their eyes at me.
#4. I have over reacted, until that person starts gaslighting me when I ask questions instead of reacting in a big way.
#5. I would get defensive, especially when my point was not acknowledged how I validated them and they would tell me I'm defensive shortly after they blatantly and underhandedly insulted me under their breath. And when I ask questions, and people assume I am looking for something wrong rather than see that I am trying to meet them where they are at so we can work out a solution. Their resentment towards me, becomes more pronounced.
*I now just remove myself from other people's bad days, and let them say whatever they want. So what I do now, is I will ask" did you say that to hurt me or were you trying to help me understand something?" And they trip up on their words, and I leave the be so I can find peace and they can reflect

[kittylynx]

Thankyou for ur wonderful video 📹 💖 if the bullies are saying that mean thing to make themselves feel better, then how can 8 not take that to heart

[cesargarza]

Your videos have been very helpful through my journey. Thank you Barbara.

[yaaaaaa]

This was so helpful. I never realized how much I take things personally, until you gave those examples/signs.

[Allen_Parks]

A big thank you from me to you Barbara! Everything you said makes perfect sense! 👍

[katiegreen]

All those signs, are me to a T, and those are qualities I don't like about myself and that I really want to learn to fix. No idea how I got this way...

[mattdandex]

Thank you 😊 your videos have helped me understand myself

[cazhickling]

Or if you get triggered by a narcissist they want their victims think about them either negative or positively. Thank you for your information

[m.g]

I love it ❤️, thank you for take your time sharing your knowledge, you have been helping me a lot⭐️✨🌟💫, God bless you 🙏🏻

[brittsworld]

Thank you I understand why people hate on me now

[judecanete]

I'm watching you here in Philippines

[vinodsingh-grxj]

Thankyou ma'am for explaining, it's absolutely fact what you described, personally I used to take to personal if some adverse reactions take place for days I used to brooding over the issue which is not necessary, later I realise because I am suffering from Bipolar mental illness, as well lack of friends, however you explained accurately . ❤️