3 Ways to Stop Obsessing Over Someone in Early Dating

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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 – 1:03 – Overinvesting Too Quickly
1:03 – 2:54 – How to Slow Down
2:54 – 5:00 – #1 Connecting to Meaning
5:00 – 5:50 – A Source of Real Confidence
5:50 – 8:08 – #2 A Clear Vision
8:08 – 10:06 – #3 Backing Ourselves
10:06 – 11:59 – How to Cultivate Those 3 Things

[emaquist]

Video summary
1. Connect to the other parts of your life that give your life meaning
2. Have a clear vision of the kind of relationship that you want to have in the future
3. Back ourselves and truly believe that the right thing is going to come along in the future

[Lucynana]

As soon as a guy starts giving me attention I start getting obsessed. I will start thinking about him the whole day. Since last year I've been focusing on myself and working towards my goals, because I know that I can't have a healthy relationship yet. My confidence is increasing and I'm starting to feel that I don't need to rely on anyone for my own happiness. Thanks for the content!

[minervag]

i've never seen any other human on the internet be so articulate and empathetic to his viewers needs and actual challenges. I've never heard anyone tackle the problem in this manner. Matthew really is incredibly wise! I'm so grateful to have found you 10 years ago

[gdaymates]

I do this with friendships. Sometimes i have to take a step back and honestly ask myself "what are they giving back?" And sometimes I realise it's a one sided friendship.

[dfsw]

I feel I'm getting attached to a girl Ive been dating for just over a month but after watching these videos I realise she hasn't actually done anything to be attached to.

[ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Start meeting the needs you are solely met by another person! You are scared to lose something you aren't giving to yourself

[buda]

So encouraging, so inspiring, thank you Mat.
I came with a conclusion:
Never make decisions based on the past, believe in your vision.
In early dating you are still testing, discovering, give yourself time❤

[Elrinell]

Good advices that we should all keep in mind. However it's easier said than done, because when we fall in love we don't think the same way we're used to. It's so easy to let ourselves overwhelming by our feelings and emotions. Also there is that fear that if we're not giving our all, our best version immediately, the other person may think we're not interested enough and might just walk away

[patrickaustin]

The content you provide is extremely important. I got caught up in the pickup artist content when I was younger and yes I was able to pick up girls, but so many of those encounters were meaningless or led to drawn out connections that I didn’t value. This content is showing me that what I really need to focus on when trying to build a relationship with someone is investing in myself and being true to myself. The old adage of “be yourself” never seemed more true

[leahmillar]

You’ve got to be able stop over valuing someone you don’t actually know and focusing on what could be when you need to focus on what is..

I do needed this video today. Thanks ❤

[eaglerhitzph]

I really do hope to find a nice and family oriented guy to grow old with to take care and love for the rest of my life❤

[estadenny]

THANK YOU! Trying so hard to remember all of these. I love that there are now transcripts! So helpful. I find myself overvaluing men for sure when they seem right for me. I love the reminder that we barely know anything about them. This came at the perfect time. Thank you!

[julievanzile]

Five months in and I am finally figuring it out. Still have trust issues from cheating husband. I thought I had to have a death grip on someone to keep them. In reality no matter what you do it wont matter. If they want you they will make it clear. I have learned you gotta let go of control. So so hard.

[annapolyakova]

The 3-rd point is precious! The right thing will come along. This is so true. I'm happy now.

[museti-zdee]

Thank you so much for this video. Couldn't come in better time. Makes you stop, think, and pull back. Everything looks different for me now. Thank you again ❤️🙏

[billbuyers]

I agree on his point about becoming obsessed with the shiny new love in your life and connecting with the parts of your life that you love. The same can be stated about food. Do you eat to live or live to eat? If you live to eat, that ends up being an unhealthy lifestyle. If you eat to life, your life is valued about the pleasure you seek.

[stuarthtodd]

I've been seeing someone for the last couple of months. They have a lot of things going on, and from everything that I've seen I do think I'm falling for them. It's not something I frequently do, I won't lie but I do feel they are pulling away from me. I've talked to them and they say they aren't, and that they want this. There's a significant age gap between us, and they haven't had a proper relationship before. I know I need to slow down but I'm finding it so hard, because I always feel I have to tell them.

Not a fan of being...vulnerable like this but sometimes, it's time.

[laureenbrandon]

Hope is what I had 5 years later I know I have to move on, but don't want to hurt them, feeling stuck, hard to put self first

[bryonytargett]

This is so helpful and I can see I have made mistakes on all counts, been obsessing over someone I am getting to know as a friend, trying to force things to happen and he is not ready for that. I will get on with my life, we can remain friends, and what will be will be (easier said than done!)

[magnaajube]

Mr Hussey! I appreciate you so much, you are really amazing in this advise you are the best. I have just made this mistake.

You are crowned my relationship guru from this day!