How to stop obsessing over someone you want

Buy my book, "The Value of Others"


There are really two components here. The first is to understand that your obsession is reducing the likelihood that you will get what you want. This is a consequence of the fundamental law of attraction: people want what they want, not what wants them. This appreciation will motivate the consistent application of the second component: the block-and-replace technique. Actively resist and replace any and all thoughts of the object of obsession.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.

#obsession #dating #attraction

[psychacks]

There are really two components here. The first is to understand that your obsession is reducing the likelihood that you will get what you want. This is a consequence of the fundamental law of attraction: people want what they want, not what wants them. This appreciation will motivate the consistent application of the second component: the block-and-replace technique. Actively resist and replace any and all thoughts of the object of obsession.



Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.



#obsession #dating #attraction

[JM]

“You cannot want someone into wanting you” - Love this

[SS-Bismarck]

I knew it had gone too far when i started dreaming about her.

[ozramblue]

For some another helpful thing is to remember that what I want is not the person themselves but some fantasy or potential that they currently represent and that this representation can just as easily be shifted elsewhere.

[MartinHernandez-rehh]

We have to treat obsession as an addiction, first by admitting that we're obsessed. Then cut, as hard as it may be, everything and everyone that will directly or indirectly "feed" our addiction. Do a lot of psychology energy working on ourselves to redirect all of that low vibration energy and TO KNOW for a fact that this "hell" we're going through, will NOT last forever and take one day at a time.
We'll become stronger and more resilient. To be more careful and wise when we meet other people who we might like, go very easy and don't let our desire to be in a relationship, blind us from the possible red flags before we invest ANY emotions in that person.
This is life 🤷

[briangilbert]

Thank you. I am really obsessed over a girl at work and I need to stop. I will try this technique.

[Mr.Honest]

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. If you put someone on a pedestal in your mind, they become a movie star to you and you’ll feel like a fanboy. Be careful how you CHOOSE to look at things! Your life depends on it!

[AD-hhdd]

Hmm, it is well known in psychological circles that when people have obsessions, it actually makes you obsess more when you try not to think of the obsession. The classic example is if I tell you not to think of a pink elephant, you can’t help thinking of it the more attention you give to trying not to. The best approach is to actually accept the thought as if it’s no big deal and then gently refocus your attention to something else. And then of course stop feeding the thoughts so we definitely do want to cut that person out of our lives when at all possible. That means no social media. No texts. It’s ok if thoughts pop up, but stopping ruminating behaviors is necessary

[zensvlognotapro]

Find something to do, keep ourselves productive that's my antidote if I'm missing some1 . What we focus on we become.

[SweetNovember]

This works but it’s so hard. I’ve done it in the past.

[cutenessoverload]

plus - keep in mind - having them in our thoughts gives away our power and energy to them...

[altoticket]

“Expecting to be loved is the greatest of pretensions” as said by one of the greatest modern lyricists/poets of all times, Vinicius de Moraes

[Coduq]

As an addict, I still get a surge of dopamine by infatuation. I honestly just enjoyed the phase without telling anyone because it made me feel alive.

Until I realize my dopamine levels are kinda messed up and fixed them other years of therapy 😂

[claireschweizer]

God that's so helpful right now, thank you! It's just a crush I'm feeding and I'm crazy about him I think he's so attractive even though I already notice imperfect things about him, but I still don't know him 😂😂😂😂

[GHExploration]

Easier said than done when something is rotting away in your mind, but I'll give it a go for my own sanity

[Lbiszz]

If they don't want you at least they don't lead you into a trap. Appreciate the little things ❤

[sanammalik]

Repressing isn't going to work man, the emotions will find their way to come to surface anyway.

[savagenative]

But isn’t that just suppressing and eventually will just come back up you can’t suppress your feelings and emotions I like what you said because I’m currently going through this right now and I’ve outwardly spoken to the individual and not in hopes we’d get together but some clarity for me and it didn’t work like I was hoping 😅 we’re still really good friends but I just want to stop obsessing over her there are so many other women out there but my fear is I ain’t gonna find one like her which I know is a lie

[Svntwomm]

Block Replace Rinse Repeat. Freedom is one thought away.

[SmoothCode]

People want what they dont have. Thats the fundamental nature of humans.