How To Be More Assertive | 3 Tips For Men!

You're probably thinking, "How can I be more assertive? I am coming off as either a nice guy or a shy guy or I'm always in the friend zone and I'm not getting clear on getting my point across". Assertive does not mean that you have to be disrespectful, it does not mean that you have to be bossy, but it does mean that you have to stand your ground for who you are and have your own opinion. A lot of us deal with this question of what is assertiveness, especially when it comes to relationships, and we frown upon assertiveness as being bossy, telling women what to do or saying get out of my life and I'm the ruler of my life and having this macho, egotistical balance of a relationship when ultimately you're just going to continue to date women and they're not going to want anything to do with you and you're just going to be stuck in this what am I doing, this macho mentality of what am I doing wrong. Or the other macho mentality is pointing fingers at everybody else.

Let's be honest, like I say in a lot of my videos. Whatever you believe, you will attract and it's all about energy. In order to be the assertive man and how to be more assertive does not mean that you have to come off disrespectful, shame other men, shame women or separate and judge. There's too much of that going on in life right now. There are so many separations with all these different movements and as you know, that you've seen if you follow me on Instagram I talk a lot about this, and I talk about why I'm in this field with men because I feel that men need to be heard more than ever these days. I don't do any of these movements. Assertiveness in relationships, assertive skills, confidence, and assertiveness id so important when you want to know how to become more assertive and how to stand up for yourself.

Number one, this is the most important and it is aligned with what I was talking about in the beginning of this video, is you have positive confrontations. When something doesn't go right or something doesn't go to the liking of your values, your boundaries, your beliefs when it comes to love, relationships, or friendships, doesn't matter, you speak your opinion but you speak it in a respectful manner, meaning you're not judging anybody else, but you're coming across forceful, opinionated, and holding your own and telling the reasons of why because of your own values. You're not pointing fingers at anybody and shining a light in order for you to be this godly presence because you're wrong and I'm right. No, you're just standing firm and you're having positive interactions, positive conversations, but also know how to confront these things in a positive demeanor. This is a powerful assertive man. When you can get this one thing across to a woman or to other males, this is life-changing and you're looked at in a completely different lens and you have a lot more value to you as a person and as a human.

Number two, it's kind of similar to number one but you say no. You don't always say yes to everything just to fit in or just to get along with other people or just not to have confrontation. Saying no is vital to your energy and to who you are as a person, because of the fact that you won't devalue yourself or submit yourself to doing something else that another person wants you to do but you don't feel like it's right. Because let's be honest, most of the time when we do something that we don't want to do and we don't feel that it's right and is aligned with us, we're miserable in the process, so why even do that because it's just gonna bring you down overall.

Lastly, the next tip is confidence in knowing who you are, meaning confidence doesn't mean that I'm the hottest guy in here and I'm walking up with my chin up, my shoulders back in the nicest outfit. No, confidence means that you hold yourself to a certain standard and a certain respect. You put your passions, you put your goals first in order to know exactly what it is that you want out of life and you want in life, and you have a clear conscious decision and goals of what that looks like and you are determined to work towards that every single day.

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Apollonia Ponti

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[flameofwisdom]

How to Be More Assertive:

1. Have positive confrontations - when something crosses your boundaries and principles, address it forcefully, with opinion, but with respect.

2. Say no. Don’t do what you don’t want to. Don’t agree with what you don’t agree with. Don’t say what you don’t mean

3. Be confident in knowing yourself. Hold yourself to a certain standard. Be comfortable in who you are and live according to it.

[eusimona]

Assertive means Being yourself 100%Real Talk And Real Thing!!!

[keanurhoades]

1. Positive Confrontation
2. Say no
3. Know Thyself

[kevinloftus]

Im not a psychologist and I may be over simplifying this but I truly believe almost all of life and all of life's issues, whether it be relationships, perspective, general outlook on life, etc.etc. etc. can be broken down to 1 thing .. "True Self Confidence."

[whatsgoingon]

I grew up under a Narcissist tyrant mother. Its SO HARD for me to stand up for myself. I get SO afraid of upsetting people, losing relationships, being punished or retaliated for it.

Thank you. I need a whole series on this. Having landlord-tenant issues. Repairs not being done, landlord ignoring noise complaints. I'm SO scared to address this.

[aznsolja]

This is why I love listening to your videos. Not standing by either parties of this or that but standing by on what must be done for both parties to communicate and operate properly.
Not yin/yang, feminine/masculine but both.
I really love your videos. Very informative and intellectually uplifting.

Sidenote:
Whoever is your guy is one lucky man 😅

Truthfully speaking, it is hard to find people who aren't bias to a cause that only serve a party. Man or women.

[allleymed]

You could never be assertive with a Narcissistic woman even if you try, she would cross mountains, walk through fire just NOT to be herself.

[bobbymitchell]

U say all that u say with such compassion and conviction but yet on a level where we can pick it up with our intellect. U have an astronomical gift and i have 2 say u are LOVED without guile i treasure u

[anthonyjoseph]

Apollonia! Thank you for your great videos & advice! You’re extremely helpful and one of the best coaches on YouTube.... I also appreciate what you always say at the end of your videos: “you are always loved!”

[stefanross]

Ok, so how assertive should one be when a confident Man is interacting and trying to get a more introverted SHY girl to open up, feel more comfortable, and essentially get her to become EXCITED about you and yearn to get to know you more?

[RRRRRRRREE]

Walking up to a girl takes courage for most men. Most men won't approach women for a simple reason, shes gonna reject me. Well it's always better to get rejected in the beginning rather than later on. Most women want a guy that is confident in what they want. Translation...women want men that know what they are doing. Even if she rejects you and say no in the beginning, it's a Big Win for you men. You approached her and talked to her. Member one thing guys, not every girl wants you. You have got to work for it. Just like everything you worked hard for in life.

[mustaphadoaa]

Thank you Apollonia. That's really influencial. Being assertive demonstrates high value which makes a woman want to be a part of your life.
By the way, i like how you balance your style Apollonia. It's about colours.
You know that you make me discover new things about you Apollonia.
Allah bless you Apollonia.

[bryanmuncy]

Your awesome AP !!! I do most of this naturally, but your advice has helped me, so thank you and you are appreciated.

[jessekimber]

First time viewer. Thank you. I enjoyed your video

[danhuskey]

Well said.Thanks for putting the difference in simple terms.

[johndawhale]

You're the best coach I've come across on Youtube.

Your have a very fresh mind.

[abbasjafiya]

Ponti forever promoting "toxic masculinity" 😂😂😂. Jokes asside, young men need to subscribe ASAP! Striking the balance btwn assertiveness and "consideration" is key. Awesome vid!

[maxcontralto]

In a line that men would clearly understand. Hold and if necessary defend your values and beliefs even if it costs your life. Literally.

[thealienboyart]

Thanks for making me understand what confidence really is.

[andor]

Thank you Apollonia for all your video's. They are vary good and help lots of us men out. We learn so much from your video's