How To Be More Assertive

#assertiveness #assertivecommunication #socialskills

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More than 70% of you said you’d like to become more assertive but you have no idea how to do so.

And I don’t blame you, because I don’t remember anyone in school telling us how to stand up for ourselves to protect our needs and wants.

So within the next few minutes I’m going to give you the only guide you’ll ever need to become more assertive, so your relationships with others can stop operating with the power imbalance between a snail and a lion.

Whether you’re the snail or the lion, I’ll let you decide.

0:00 Snails & lions
0:24 What is assertiveness?
4:34 (1) Where are you on the continuum?
7:54 (2) The 3 part assertion message
9:21 (3) Pro tips for delivering your 3 part assertive message
16:04 (4) Dealing with defensiveness (the push-push-back phenomenon)
17:47 Assertive body language
20:46 (5) Pro tips continued
25:55 (6) A quick fire way to stop someone’s behaviour
26:51 (7) The 6 ways of saying no
27:18 Summary

[lbali]

How refreshing, a calm and pleasant speaking voice. Too many youtubers yell at us.

[CrustaceousB]

I misread the thumbnail and thought it said "your thirties ends now" . I was like, what the hell it just started. I'm only 31😂

[KingJ-vq]

This has basically been me all my life, care about others peoples feelings more than my own, I become submissive to people who I believe are authority figures hence making me shy. Probably a result of my upbringing and need to uproot this pathetic weakness before it ruins my life.

[wesgoodson]

“Excuse me sir, you’re sitting on my body…which is also my face.”

[jenkinsjjenkins]

Learning how to fight really made me more confident and its a night and day difference

[SageLazuli]

The most difficult part of this for me is definitely not getting triggered or defensive when the other person is on the defense or acting aggressive. Gotta work on that reflective listening and staying calm

[papichulohomes]

17 year old here you are the only youtuber in this space who I feel is 110% genuine and actually happy with their situation in life.

[water]

I use to talk a lot as a child but got shut down by my family which made me quite, then they ask why I’m so quite, I’m trying to talk more nowadays but they don’t like it and my social anxiety is another issue I have when I’m out in public

[KayKashi]

Assertive with a calming voice that’s what I like. I don’t want to have to yell to be assertive

[michaelsanchez]

Be careful with this. I recently let go of my New Year’s resolution.(Yes, I’ve held onto it this far). I made an effort to not take anyone’s BS anymore and started becoming more assertive.. I felt more empowered, but it came at a heavy cost. Most people in today’s world are sensitive and passive. THEY are not assertive and will take people’s BS. When I became the man I should have been, I lost quite a few friends and people started viewing me differently. I felt alienated and alone and depressed.

I’m now in a phase in my life where I’m enjoying my quiet time. Learning new things, picked up kickboxing, started cooking more. And I had to learn how to balance assertion with kindness.

This is not an easy task and you will make mistakes. Or at least feel like you did. Always remember, be true to yourself and be compassionate as much as you can. Hope that helps somebody.

[sehalshams]

I don't usually leave a comment on videos, however, I was compelled to let you know that this was a well-put-out message to help understand the core concepts of assertion and the differences between assertion, dominance, and submissiveness. The understanding and knowledge of assertiveness will help individuals foster healthier relationships in the long run.

Newel, you have done a really good job of delivering the message of assertiveness and how to be in harmony with it and how not to over-step boundaries. The video has clarified how assertiveness can be well established and by not undermining the person's character and to also protect your own.

[GwapoBeshie]

I've learned to really enjoy stuff that's uncomfortable and It's been really successful for me and made me grow alot in every aspect.

[berkefeil]

The sneaky thing as that people can kind of manipulate you without bad intentions, even before you realize it. Whenever you lose touch with yourself, it’s always a good idea to take a step back and question whether the choices you make are really your own. This is such a darn valuable thing to pay attention to because genuine happiness can only be found in living according to _your_ needs and wants, as long as you’re open to well-intentioned advice and change when needed.

Therefore, not standing up for yourself is not only giving up on individuality, it’s also giving up on the very core of a good life. So stay conscious everyone, and remain true to yourself

[mattiamarsano]

You are the older brother I never had. Seriously you’re opening my eyes. Respect from Italy 💪🏻

[war-deserter]

When I see videos like this, I feel hopeful, because it shows that I'm not fundamentally broken and I can improve.

[Roswell]

Its a wild concept to me that people actually need to be taught to treat others with respect etc. like wtf, why isn't that a natural state for people, it scares the sh*t out of me because I can't comprehend it. I've realized that if I need to fight for boundaries and respect with someone, it's better to be without them

[juliechurch]

Interesting when said high self esteem, high assertive! No wonder I'm abused and walked over cos I can't be assertive hence on the floor self esteem! Right from now on I'm not take no more from anyone.thankyou for open my eyes 👍

[savadrenovac]

I know you've heard this hundreds of times, but I'll be ASSERTIVE and say it again, your content changes lives, it helps me immensely, thank you brate <3

[chrislee]

I’m employing this with the IRS agents who are seizing my earnings whilst threatening me with imprisonment, and it doesn’t seem to be working.

[No-Gumph]

When you take such time and care in explaining things I feel fortunate to be listening because I came across your channel through luck.

I really love the use of "when you, I feel, because" in a positive context. I think that has huge potential for others to feel seen for what they do.