Why do Narcissists have weird routines and habits?

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Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:28 Why A Narcissist has a bizarre routine and set of hard-to-change habits
00:56 The narcissist's behavior is controlled by a set of habits
01:52 Rigidity in repeatability
02:36 They dissociate through the routines and habits
03:33 These routines give them a false sense of functionality
04:43 Sync the inner world with outer
05:18 Routines sustain and maintain their false self

[gloriachapman]

The ex narc’s only routine was lying, cheating, gaslighting and laziness.

[vacationeyes]

There are a lot of weirdos who are actually nice people. It's important to not mistake them for narcissists. In my experience, Narcissists aren't weird in a charming Einstein-like way. They are robotic, mechanical, humorless, mundane, unimaginative and have no depth. They tend to follow their routines no matter what and also impose them on others.

[davidwelch]

Danish. You said the right word; "Creatures" of habit. They're not human only mimicking human behavior.

[jessa]

He wasn't lazy when it came to work but when it came to communicating, honesty and loyalty or being accountable when being caught- the epitome of lazy. I just want to forget I was with him it was a wasted 12 years, just mind games, deception and a total fraudulent relationship.

[simonpegg]

Through a little bit of trial and error, a narc arrives at a routine, and/or set of schedules that work for them for the long term. They are so regimented in their day-to-day life, that they might be eating healthy, and look young for their age (aging is a narc's worst fear), while their victim might be putting on weight inexplicably (often the result of stress perpetrated by the narc).
Ignore and go no-contact with a narc. Zero supplies will make them self-destruct.

[lauracullifer]

Alcohol, lying, abusive, lazy, negative . Constant chaos and drama

[dyoung]

💯he’s chaotic, paranoid & extremely disorganized. When I worked out of state temporarily, even tho I pre-cooked/froze meals that he simply had to heat up, he started eating on a regular basis at a local colleges cafeteria. Even after I completed my out of state assignment, he continued to eat at that cafeteria. I’ve figured out that this is so he’ll be around young supply & he’s been able to transform the cafeteria workers into flying monkeys. They see me as a neglectful wife. I say good because he’s gonna need somewhere to eat after this divorce❤️😊👍🏾.

[texastrader]

My Narcissist mother was obsessed with her church, cleaning and order to the exclusion of everything else. The house was spotless, her four children spotless and not allowed to get dirty. When we were small our hair had to be shampooed twice. She would strip and wax her wooden floors once a month. We were never allowed to help with the housework because we were told we never did anything right. There was no affection or love shown for we children. In summers we were sent out to play after breakfast and not allowed to come in before supper. We didn't have lunch. She hated children, especially sick children, cooking, holiday's, animals, visitor's and all of the neighbor's but her house was perfect until the day she died.

[ABIGAIL]

This is soooo crazy. I finally understand my mothers obsession with apparent routine. She used to berate me for “not having structure”. And was unreasonably rigid. Insisted that my 2 year old child comply with her rules. Then became angry when he didn’t comply. I mean; he was TWO! This makes a lot of sense.

[sararichardson]

You’ve fully explained his behaviour. I always said : he didn’t have a life so much as a routine. Now I know

[Miu_Nisht]

Some of this Narcs habits seemed OCD to me, like, washing his hands up to the elbows with very hot water, not being able to touch door knobs or light switches with his hands . Other weird things he does is bathing with rubber flops on, taking 2-3 hours in the bathroom destroying any morning routine I could have, he wakes up at 4am for his routine but had I to awake at 3.30 am to get some bathroom time, he would then awake at 3.05 am the following day just so I couldn't follow a routine, each time he uses the loo he sprinkles water around it and makes sure the floor is wet, he also spills bleach on the toilet floor and just leaves it there.When there's aggression from him and I talk back, he immediately goes to pray, I always wonder if he prays to remove his sins so he can start anew again . He has no hobbies to speak off and hates doing any chores but he likes to supervise me moving heavy furniture by myself and offer advice on "how it should be done" . He can watch the same movie everyday if he knows I dislike it, he did so once for 6 months just waiting for me to blow up about him making life at home like groundhog day . He literally re-cooks the food in the microwave when he's heating it up . He uses a whole bar of soap in a single day 3/4 for bathing and the rest for washing his hands . In his house Watching TV was a big deal, he would just switch it of and put what he wanted on when he felt like it. He would never watch what I did like my taste is so shallow, yet if a "friend" recommended the same movie to him, there'd be a fuss about it and how fab this movie must be even though I'd have said the same and watched it months or years before . The other habit I can't stand is he uses his foot to flush the loo, and if electronic devices have knobs he uses his knee to turn them. He also hoards broken electronics and heaps old receipts, cig boxes and basically dirt in one corner of the kitchen . If he drops something he never picks it up, if he spills some liquid, he'll smear the mess around with his shoes . He also throws his shoes in any place he feels like and he has a lot of shoes . He also bangs on the door after locking it like 10 times ( he's broken all the door handles in the house ) and speaks loudly enough for everyone to hear that he is leaving . He also has had his whole street and the security guard watch and report my daily activities . Had I to mention I had an appointment somewhere, I'd be shocked to know everyone on the street already knew where I was .

[southernbred]

You provide the most accurate description of a "NARCISSIST" I've ever heard.
💯💣

[deborahmeyers]

I am soooo sorry you had to go through that with your father

[eeeriebrilliance]

Thank you, Danish, for your informative videos. Your knowledge on the topic of narcissism is evident in every statement you make. I hate that you were subject to your fathers narcissistic abuse growing up but I love that you use his behavior to illustrate many of the tendencies you discuss and admire the way in which you appear to have taken those lemons and turned them into lemonade. Keep up the excellent work!

[valerieshy]

OM Gosh! Your examples about gardening and watching "news" programs that encourage fear rang true with my experience. I never thought about the things my father does now since retirement on a daily basis, but for the last 20 years he has done the same things day in and day out. When we talk on the phone, he can't contain himself, but to try to get me to buy into more ways to live my life in fear, etc. Super disturbing! Thanks for great content. I always learn something new here!

[lisabrightly]

Sweeping the ground incessantly. Even in the dark, even when there's nothing there! 😕

[HonestyIsAVirtue]

Everyday, he got up at the same time. He pooped at the same time. He left the house at the same time. Came home from work at the same time. He said the same things when he walked in everytime. He Took off his hat as soon as he came in the door. He Put his stuff from his pocket in his hat. Put his hat in the same spot. Went to the bathroom, and sat on the commode for about an hour. Then, he showered. Then, he would ask what's for dinner? I was his servant slave. I had to make sure his belly was always full, and his clothes were clean, the house was clean, the children were taken care of properly. We only talked when he wanted to. He ran the TV. The remote control to it stayed in his hand. He didn't care what anyone wanted to watch. If the children and I were watching something we liked, he would automatically change the channel. Channel surfed all evening long. I am glad he's gone! I always said that he was robotic. He seemed to be programmed. He was most definitely robotic.

[susanjones]

The narcs I have encountered must eat at a scheduled time which never changes, and must never ever be interrupted.

[alimccreery]

I like the expression that this other counselor said in regards to the narcissist he used the words functional lunatic. Fits really good 👍 😊

[vp]

So interesting and spot on. My ex always said "i'm a creature of habit" and was convince it was such a great trait