Midweek with Dr. C- Coming To Terms With a Narcissist’s Lack Of Decency

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[aaronkwolfe]

"If a man doesn't treat his wife right, I don't want to hear him talk about Christianity." -- D. L. Moody. A quote I just heard. It resonates.

[hismom]

There's just something so extremely calming about you and your channel. Not only are you providing amazing information, but you're doing so in a way that genuinely soothes my soul. Thank you for everything you do sir.

[splainyourself]

Gus is a superstar! You are pretty good too. 😉
I love your genuine smile and joy you put into your introduction. God Bless!

[summerbee]

This triggered a memory for me…so one day he was hammered drunk as usual and he was hyper focused on me and everything I was doing wrong as usual lol and he kept saying he had to put me through “boot camp” and by that he meant smacking me or hitting me every time he “felt disrespected” by me. Mind you I was just having a regular conversation with him. Horrible abuse. I believe that was the same day he spit chewed up food in my face and actually ripped my dress off of my body. He didn’t want me to look pretty so the dress had to go. Such a coward he couldn’t just say “babe can you change?” He ripped it off of my body and pushed me on the floor. So glad I’m out of that situation. And haven’t been hit or abused in almost a year-10 months now!

[ursalaoutrageous]

I had a friend in junior high who had a tendency of being very critical of the way others handled things that she felt expert at. We renewed our friendship after 50+ years and her critical nature had blossomed into a narcissism that I could not handle. She seemed absolutely determined to change me into a person she could accept and became furious that she couldn’t. I wrote this in her honor:

I’m perfect. I admire myself.
I think that you should, too.
I am just impeccable
in everything I do.
I’m disciplined in every way;
I never make a mess.
If I had a single fault,
I surely would confess.
You should follow in my footsteps;
You’d do nothing but improve
If you went by my example,
If you followed every move.
You’d do well to imitate me;
My advice is tried and true.
If you could just be more like me,
You’d be a better you!

[ursalaoutrageous]

Funny you say that about aging. I waited in hopes for thirty years for my husband to mellow. It never happened. Instead he found a floozy half our age and told me I was not submissive enough. Good grief, I was a compliant doormat for decades!

[michelevarner]

Injustice. The pain, frustration and even anger comes from feeling injustice and knowing full well what they say to me to purposefully be rude and mean or what they do to me to create drama and strife in my life is wrong and I didn't do anything to deserve it.

[amarbyrd]

So happy you're taking some time for you (and took the time to provide this to us beforehand). Thank you for all the support and tools you give to us. We appreciate you so much.

[tanteglitter]

I've gone no contact with my narcisstic father. He came at me with anger. Emails with threaths and commanded me to change my behavior. I ignored those emails. The last email he send, was all about him telling me he was sorry. I ignored that one too. I guess the only thing he is sorry about is that he can no longer control me.

[jordyn]

Dr. C, have fun on your trip! This feeling of being “free” when the narcissist is out of the room or not at the gathering hit home for me… it’s a sigh of relief when my narcissistic extended family member isn’t at a gathering. It feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders!!

[deborahcollins]

When my narcissistic husband goes to bed which is much earlier then I do YES definitely the word FREEDOM best describes it for hours to come actually since I am a night owl thank goodness and we no longer share a bedroom for a couple years now which is wonderful too 👍❤️

[snowy]

Thank you so much, Dr. C, for all your work in raising public awareness about this life destroying personality disorder. The only way that humanity will ever escape it is by recognizing and refusing to allow it. I never heard of it until a couple of years ago. I just knew there was something very wrong with some of my relatives. Started watching your videos and you are describing the behavior patterns that I have endured for more than 60 years. Your work is so important ! Live Long and Prosper. 🖖

[TWILLIE]

Re: aging narcissists - they may not necessarily get worse but it’s important to note THEY DON’T CHANGE. When I told my aging mother I could not drop what I was doing (to comply with her demands) she responded with “then don’t come to my funeral IF I die.”

[rubyburnside]

My ex narcissist used to and continues to say "Prove It". Even if you did they'd still deny it. They're so phony in front of others. I'm going to start calling mine out him and all his corrupt evil ways.

[cairosilver]

Narcissists see other people as objects, like we treat a phone or a computer, and 'teaching a lesson' is an attempt to make the object serve them properly.

[lisaroy]

Biggest nugget today: Why do we feel so good when the narcissist is in a different place than us? 27 minutes in. OHH WHAT A RELIEF it was when I dropped the N off to an airport and had some FREEDOM of my own thoughts and space. Control is NOT a good thing. Going along to get along is NOT a good thing.

[rachc]

Recently visited my father and he showed me all the pictures hanging in the hallway wall and referred to it as “the wall of shame”. Good thing I don’t care about what he thinks or his rude comments. The pictures are of his girlfriend’s children, grandchildren and some of me. How nice of him. The feeling is mutual.

[flightydancer]

"the minute you go off on a different direction, it's off with your head..." pretty much summarize the relationship with a narcissist.

[PnkBanj]

"I don't find this to be meaningful, I want to find a different purpose in my life other than keeping you off my back' I want to stitch this on a pillow cushion. It's brilliant, thank you Dr. Carter. whew, you find the words i need and they're powerful.

[kimberlys.]

Narcs love to take work outta town. Little do they know it’s a break for us!! I totally related to that comment. Do I care what he’s doing out of town. A big fat NO!! just happy he’s finding supply elsewhere and leaving me alone.