CPTSD: How to Feel SAFE

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When CPTSD is active and our brains/emotions are dysregulated, we can be easily triggered by things that upset us, including things people say or do (or don't do), things that are shocking, or just everyday stressors. Getting triggered can cost us hours and days of disruption, so the search for a "safe space" can be an urgent one, yet hard to find.

So how do we stay "safe?" How much can we expect other people to prevent triggers from happening, and what's our own role? What should we do if people trigger us? My answers may surprise you.
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[evanfirebrand]

I'm a late arrival to all this wisdom, but what really hooked me in is Anna's honesty, encouraging us to take personal responsibility and letting go of the impulse to control others. Hard to hear some of the truths, but they certainly strike the right chord.

[helenasaez]

If I could just feel safe before bed time and while I sleep...

[staceywhite]

I never feel safe outside my home. Mostly emotionally. Any perceived rejection can really hurt me

[leospotions]

I can't even feel safe with my whole family in the room, they never understand me

[echopathy]

this channel makes me feel normal again. thank you.

[itslilygacha]

I was just sitting in my room and I didn’t feel safe. And I didn’t know why, and you made me feel safe! Thank you! :)

[aquajuwel]

I just found your videos and I love them. I have severe cptsd from growing up with a psychopath mother and struggle a lot to control my emotions and relationships. I have ended all contact with my mother 2 years ago after years of ups and down, and extreme control, my whole family struggle because of her. I am 38 and male, and things became much better in many ways when I cut her off, therapy have helped, but your hands on approach is really helpful. Have just found a TM meditation group here in Norway and will learn it. I often feel my body is over stressed and therapy have not helped much with that, so will be nice to learn to relax. Thanks for great videos. I will sign up on your website.

[indyd]

"Inner calm, that is your safety."
Well said! Thank you for working these videos. It helps to know there's other people who understand.

[stevec]

I had no way to express myself regarding unending fears and feelings of being emotionally 'unsafe'. Until recently, I was my trauma, and was too easily triggered before. Now I have the understanding, and tools to re-regulate; and look for the 'inner calm' that left me so long ago.

[dotsyjmaher]

YOUR sharing YOUR experience is very comforting...
After going through KatrinaRita and having my mother's abuse resurface ..(she had been dead for years)..I could hardly function in a normal life but after major disaster that was not going away for awhile..I started reliving extreme childhood trauma ..I tried therapy and the therapist treated me like an interesting specimen..I would have killed myself if I had not had pets who desperately needed me..
I coped with alcohol..
Only in the last couple of years have I begun to feel able to sanely approach my childhood trauma..
Your videos are VERY helpful..I KNOW YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE GOING THROUGH...THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤️

[caleshaboston]

I felt unsafe in my apartment when I heard someone getting shot outside my window twice. Once was in the day, the other was late at night. I also do not feel safe in my own body because I feel like if I was to be attacked, I wouldn’t be able to protect myself. I now am in the habit of praying at night & reading the book, black pearls.

[EllaBirt]

Thank you for this!! One of the things I've never liked or understood about therapy is that they don't directly explain things like this. I'm a smart cookie, but I've not really understood what it would look like to feel "safe, " or how I could actually be safe in a world so full of possibility where many people are walking around traumatized. I've watched half a dozen of your videos today and see myself totally in all of them. It's like I've been panning for gold and your videos are loaded with golden nuggets of healing wisdom. I've found writing and meditation to be core components in my own coping and understanding. I'm going to further dedicate myself to these practices diligently and use your info to help regulate my regularly activated nervous system. Sending so much love to you!

[emirrart]

my best friend makes me feel the most safe - she does so much for me. she stays near the phone, ready to comfort and reassure me if i’m going through a hard thing, like the dentist or doctor or even just the hard nights, and i do the same for her. she’s wonderful, i love her with all my heart

[donnawoodford]

I notice that I have little interest to be around other people for very long. I think in a short time, things are going to go bad, and I'll want to take leave. I haven't found the "right" type of people yet whom I feel safe around. I know it sounds like an unresolved trust issue, but at the moment, I feel very sensitive to ppl telling me what they think I need (to do). I don't like ppl bossing me around.☹️

[lifeslessons]

This video particularly struck a note with me, exactly right of my symptoms, I DON'T Feel safe of nearly all the threats you'd mentioned!! That's it.. I just want to feel safe, and I know my own reactions are harming me, but it a defence mechanism I'd learnt from and early age !

[belonging]

I love the way you reshaped my understanding of CPTSD. I have one question though, that I see not represented in your content: I can love deeply and feel deep connection and also trust in the truth of a connection. Yet, when eben my loved one tells me, that he loves me, I feel nothing at all. It's like a glass wall. It just does not reach me. I go emotionally blank. Would you be so kind, to let me know. If that is part of and why, of CPTSD. And more importantly, how could I break through?

[aviary]

Hi ma'am, Thank you so much for coming up with these videos. I came across your channel while trying to learn more effective ways, particularly the nervous system in healing cptsd. The moment I heard your voice and the way you speak about the topics (from another video) I knew I'm going to be a regular viewer and learner of your work.

I need a safe place to learn and work things out, and no longer want to keep on talking about stuff, especially with family that cannot help themselves but constantly being critical of me instead of rightfully coming to terms to defend me as a family member from cptsd and all sorts of triggers. I only hope for them to just let me be and not keep on judging why I need my space and not take that need against me anymore. Right now I feel better if I just let them judge and not hear about it rathen than keep on catching up too often with them and hear triggers from their mouths from their casual but judgemental conversations.

[barbarafinch]

You're such an angel, and so skilful in delivering these videos. I love all of them. Is it possible you've created a video to help avoid becoming a recluse and the extreme loneliness that goes with that? Wishing you grace and love Barb

[amypola]

Makes sense, but I sure needed to hear it. And right now. Spent the day in dysregulation. Trying to pull out of it.

[stefanemanuelsson]

Thank you for your videos. What you say is so true for me. I have a very hard time regulating my feelings, feeling scared inside most of the time, beating me up if someone puts me down etc. I have been taking up on this practise with fear and resentments and try to get private time for meditation as often as i can, and it really helps.