Signs of Emotional Neglect: How Affects Your Friendships | Dr. Jonice Webb

In this video, you’ll learn how to see the effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) on your friendships. I’ll also describe the 6 particular ways that CEN can make your friendships feel draining or unsatisfying. I’ll also give you 3 ways to transform your friendships.

CEN Breakthrough Video Series:
1. Emotional Neglect: How to Recognize it, Why it’s Invisible, And How it Affects You | Dr. Jonice Webb:
2. Emotional Neglect: 4 Subtle but Painful Things You May Have Missed Growing Up | Dr. Jonice Webb
3. Emotional Neglect: How it Can Make it Hard to Recognize Your Emotions | Dr. Jonice Webb
4. Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Jonice Webb
5. Emotional Neglect: How to Connect with Yourself and Find Your Voice | Dr. Jonice Webb
6. Emotional Neglect: What Most Therapists Don’t Know and How to Find One Who Does | Dr. Jonice Webb
7. Emotional Neglect: Use These 10 Affirmations to Reparent Yourself | Dr. Jonice Webb
8. Emotional Neglect: Lack of Self-Discipline? It might be Self Neglect Instead | Dr. Jonice Webb
9. Emotional Neglect: How it Impacts Your Love Relationships | Dr. Jonice Webb
10. Emotional Neglect: Jumpstart Your Healing by Doing These 3 Things | Dr. Jonice Webb

00:00 Introduction
00:40 What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?
03:17 6 Signs of Emotional Neglect
04:48 3 Most Impactful Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect on Friendships
06:20 3 Ways to Improve Your Friendships

[janelleclairem]

Sign 1- feeling like you have a lot of acquaintances, but not enough close friends.
Sign 2- always being there for your friends when they need you, but when you need them they let you down.
Sign 3- you notice your friendships gradually seem to drift apart.
Sign 4- feel drained often after spending time with friends.
Sign 5-Feel people take you for granted.
Sign 6- friends share more about their lives with you more than you share on your life.

[Ocieandme]

The problem I struggle with is that I tend to let others talk first about what's going on for them, and then when they are done, I try and express how I am feeling. More often than not, they don't listen long before they have to go, or end the call for some reason. YES, I am weeding those people out of my life.

[carolentringer]

1. Force yourself to take up more space. Share enough. Start talking more until you’re about 50/50.
2. I feel, I want, I think.
3. Feel. Designate a time every day to ask yourself what you’re feeling. You will begin to feel that you matter. Gradually, you will begin to feel energized rather than drained.

[mcjs]

I don't have any friends at all. I have never been able to feel safe and I found out only recently that I have Complex PTSD from my very early childhood. I had some EMDR on the NHS, but I need to see someone privately now and I can't afford it. Things are very tough. I am completely alone and unable to socialise due to an aquired brain injury. Sorry to moan, it's been a difficult day. I also have Prolonged Grief and it's been overwhelming today. Best wishes to everyone.

[Danilee]

Don’t have friends……gave up sharing things with “friends” because every time the information came back to me by someone else.

[stevethomas]

I often find when I have the time to speak my mind goes blank. Other times when I'm with a group of friends I find myself listening more and thinking about other things because I hardly ever get a chance to say anything and when I do have something to say by the time I get a chance to say anything the conversation has moved on. Other times people just talk over me and I end up in a shouting match.

[jenniferfox]

My neglect led me to socializing with people that would rate extremely high in narcissism. All were highly manipulative, self absorbed and untrustworthy.

Id say the biggest effect of neglect is you have no baseline on which to gauge other peoples behaviors. So, in the absence of awareness or ability to gauge you naturally gravitate towards familiar, which happens to be toxic and detrimental to your health. At least, that was my experience.

[elfijuvrud]

I have suffered lack of close friendships all my life. Thank you for your videos.

[citychicken]

Friends? What friends? LOL.
Every time I feel like I click with someone nothing deep ever develops and we drift apart. It's very discouraging. Thank you for this video, it has helped realize why I struggle so much with developing friendships.

[christinemccoy]

I was used after the death of husband at 55 yrs old. They used me rhen left. I got rid of his and my families. Death shows all the ugly in people. There was not 1 person there for me. Im an introvert so im quite ok on my homestead. With rhe world as it is i dont wish for new friends

[JoeMotionVideos]

Geeze. You talk like you know me personally. You hit every point in my life on this topic.

[dianaeverett]

Great video, Dr. Webb. I've always been invisible with my friends and have moved from the community where most of friends lived. Gradually I realized they were selfish. Have not had the desire to make new friends in my current community due to lack of trust.

I believe that CEN folks/introverts/people pleasers not only are out of touch with their feelings and feel "less than" but also they attract those who are selfish and/or abusive. Perhaps when CEN folks become more aligned with their feelings and matter more to THEMSELVES, they can attract kinder and more reciprocal friends, and in the absence of reciprocal friends, they can enjoy their solitude and forego friendships altogether..

[jasfra]

Thank you for your helpful insights and good advice, 10:08 "When you treat your feelings as if they matter, you are actually treating yourself as if you matter. Then you can begin to feel as if you matter." ❤

[HTHTNT]

Thank you so much for your channel. I struggle with relationships a lot as I don’t trust people anymore. I’ve become very isolated since a string of life events since last March and a bad break up from an emotionally abusive relationship. I felt like a shadow of myself after that and went into a severe depression as I felt I had lost myself and couldn’t feel joy, only numbness. I’m healing but still struggling. I’ve lost my faith in humanity. I hope I will get to a place where I feel differently. To anyone going through this, I’m sending you lots of love ❤️

[strongbamboo]

Oh, God this is exactly what I need 😫
I am terribly alone!!. Nobody understands me. God knows how many times I have tried to make friends, but some of them without knowing me disappear from me letting me feeling sad, unwanted, worthless and unlovable😢 und to top it all, I am married to a narcissist who doesn't love me, touch me, kiss me or hug me so what good is for me to be in this world??

[jesswright]

Sometimes I do remember how I feel and think about it but often because of my ADHD I forget about it or doing the exercise quite quickly and get onto something else before I've even noticed. I now recognise that people get bored and confused bye my behaviour. I and that there is a clear mismatch between myself and practically everyone else. I keep trying to change it but finding it really difficult.

I have signed up for the course, but in all honesty have not listened to some of the videos yet as work has been exhausting and all of my energy and time go into it. I understand that this is ineffective for the rest of my life especially and can only keep working on this.

Thank you for enlightening me on what the problems are however. I am 58 and a chest felt overwhelming for so many years but I am beginning to tease things out and work on them individually

[roslyncerro]

I read your books in 2017. They led me to want to study DBT, grief counseling, and learning about IFS and ACT. I check in w/myself three times each day and still review your feeling word section often. Thank you.

[alicelee]

I am not sure if your suggestions are helpful in my current situation. I find in the age of texting, it is difficult to engage with people who want a meaningful friendship. I find the quality of communication difficult because people seem to be reluctant to call on the phone or email. In my experience, people text to suggest an activity but it doesn't usually allow for deep conversations which is what I believe fosters friendship. People seem to be more at ease with superficial conversation and as an introvert and sensitive person, I find this unfulfilling.

[miriamcedillo]

Thank you Dr. Jonice. I now notice that I have made several friendships in the past, where the other person talked a mile-a-minute about their own problems, but rarely asked about my problems, or my input about their concerns. In both cases I eventually had to drop them because they became like a 'broken record', re-hashing the same complaints, etc. I thought of myself as a good listener, and I knew most people are never really listened to, so I thought I was doing them a favor by listening intently; but eventually I got bored with the 'same old - same old.' A few times I tried to insert my opinions, often using my own experiences or similar situations, also needing to have MY needs & concerns listened to by them, but in both cases it went right over the tops of their heads and they just continued 'whining.' But aside from those instances, I've also noticed, in about 80% of friendships, past and present, I eventually am the one to 'pull-out' of the relationship before they do (both female and male), which I usually tell myself is because they didn't 'live up to' my high expectations for being friends to me. Eventually they would say or do something I didn't approve of, and it was all 'downhill' from that point. Even today, I think I can count on my fingers of one hand the number of 'friends' I think I really know and can trust; but I've always told myself I only need one or two 'good friends' to contact when I need some sort of help, on in case of emergency. So, believe it not, I am content with just a handful of friends, who I can count on.

[bradyshannon]

Oddly, All 5 are true but the last one for me, I tend to overshare and I know it, I think I kind of seek reciprocity and that's a bad habit.