7 Evidences Of A Narcissist's Stunted Relationship Skills

Being quite self-impressed, narcissists want to be the ones to set the pace for relationships. And yet, as Dr. Les Carter underscores, they are underdeveloped in the most basic relationship skills. He highlights 7 patterns common to narcissism, explaining why you cannot allow yourself to take cues from the narcissist. Your best response to their self-enamored attitudes is to live according to your better ideas and values.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[kirbyaugustine]

If I hadn’t experienced it for myself, I could’ve never imagined being in a relationship with another individual that made me feel so lonely while not being alone.

[Mehmet-rwbu]

Narcissists would never admit to being even the smallest part of a problem. They are absolutely perfect and, at worst, the only victims.

[elcee]

“No effort to understand.”
“Disinterest.”
Like and be liked by everyone.
Blind love.
“Refusal to take responsibility for personal and relational difficulties.”
Dr. Carter I could never find the words to describe how grateful I am to you. Thank God for you! Thank you!

[julieb]

“Sense of emptiness “ that’s what I always felt.

[wheelerpat]

My guesses:
1. Lack of real emotion, except for rage (of course),
2. Lack of genuine, authentic, creative expression (they suck at art and have no real ideas of their own...and will take your great ideas as their own),
3. Inability to take responsibility for their life and decisions (their failures are our fault, after all),
4. They cannot be genuinely intimate with others or share real love,
5. They lack courage (total cowards),
6. They can’t be honest (with themselves and others), and
7. They can’t self-reflect and instead turn every interaction with others into a competition.

Those are my guesses. We’ll see what Dr. C says!

[goodwilltriumph]

Or love to them means you give them everything they want, always agree with them and have no needs of your own. Good way to pick a narc is to tell them they can't have something they want! Even something minor will often flush them out!

[donna-colorado]

Oh my gosh please do not share anything personal with them. They will use it against you again and again. I learned that the hard way.

[bobpaff]

So true! They absolutely expect you to hate the people they hate. ALL about their wants, their needs, 100% of the time. Anything less they don’t feel “ loved.” Although we know they have no healthy concept of love! These are extremely broken and damaged people.

[marmaladesunrise]

'Stunted Relationship Skills.' Perfect description, Dr. C.

[MotherRabbit]

Unwilling to consider other perspectives. Aggressive need to control and isolate others. Monologue to control narrative. Smear character or misdirect any who disagree

[sherrim]

6. Distorted relationships. He had a terrific ex wife, and I'm feeling he had to be the problem there too.

[Joe-toog]

When a narc can't get their way, they go very quiet, but they are raging inside. It can last weeks or months.

[kitsmith]

They can’t understand anything you say, they pretend

[shelleys]

We live in a, "What can you do for me world?", and it's exhausting. Narcs are pros at it and their greatest tool in my experience is guilt. They love to guilt you for not making their world okay. At this point in my life, I just want peace and boy, is it hard to find.

[alicec.]

My ex would play loud music everytime I decided to play my violin. I'm pretty sure I'm not bad as I've played in a proper orchestra before but he would always do that. And he would wait until I made a mistake to make fun of me instantly.. Never a compliment, never a question about my hobbie in 3 years.

[matilda]

They are so good at making you feel insignificant. Masters, really !

[desert_moon]

Absolutely correct, you cannot share your heart with these people.

[jbellbird]

My Narc mother spent her whole life trying to minimalize me but she never broke my spirit. That really annoyed her! But she affected other family members who've taken on those traits.

[andrearush]

What is so interesting is their perspective of the situation is that healthy patterns and behaviors (conflict resolution, honesty, consideration of multiple perspectives, selflessness) are "unsafe." Of course they are! They require honesty, integrity, and empathy, all weaknesses to them.

[theyrekrnations]

They refuse to grasp and understand anything that does not fit their view. Their view is limited to their own perspective and desires