7 Techniques Narcissists Use To Turn Others Against You

Once narcissists turn against you, they are not satisfied to move on quietly. They will use various opportunities to smear your good name. Dr. Les Carter identifies seven of the most common ways narcissists can portray you in a negative light. Then he describes how you can move on despite their efforts.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[karlabritfeld]

Narcissists really hate it when you finally have had enough of their BS and you stand up for yourself. Now they're going to turn everyone against you.

[eeyoresgirl]

This is why you never accept gossip. It’s 99 percent lies.

[oxigenarian]

After watching this, it occurred to me that this is the reason why they gather data from you; to save it for another day when they want to dredge up things from your past...

[carstenmaul]

If you are in a relationship or marriage or family relation with a narcissist I give you a recommendation from my life: RUN

[kayjay]

1. overt lies 2. projection 3. spin half truths 4. coy "I can't say" insinuations 5. describe matters about you out of context 6. Demonize people who support you 7. Tout their own personal positive characteristics

[tanteglitter]

Narcessists have the memory of an elephant, for whatever that might come in handy at one point later in life. Always about you. No recollection of their own behavior

[myutube]

Calling you "selfish" if you don't do everything THEY want!

[phoenixrising]

A narcissistic accusation
is actually their cloaked confession

[wk]

Everytime I hear what narcissist do.. It makes me sick. They are just so toxic

[dailyequanimity]

“Your best argument is a life well lived.” Love this.

[chelleb]

Mine would start something in private just to provoke me to react in defense. As soon as my emotions were stirred up they'd "go public" with whatever it was and drag everyone they could into it, pointing at me and saying "look how crazy she is!". It's a sick game they all seem to like to play (making you look like the unstable one). I stopped falling for the bait once I realized what the game was.

[JA-koxu]

Who here has had a narcissist in their family turn one of your siblings or parents against you? This just happened with my younger brother, who was always my best friend--and now hates me. I'm completely devastated.

[dyoung]

It’s always a competition with the narc. Narcs aren’t good listeners unless it’s something that they can use against you and they’re masters at planting seeds of doubt. Long before I knew what a narc was, I asked my ex why do you act like parenting is a competition? I knew then that something was off with the narc.

[Enlightened]

The narc hates if you compliment or value someone. That becomes an obsession to get to them, insulting them to you, but finding ways into them to lie and manipulate against you. It is part of the isolation game. They want you alone! It is so important to keep narcs out of you circle.

[jedimaster]

Fake concern is another tactic, starting sentences with...'I'm really worried about so and so'...before launching into a damning account of all your faults that they are trying to address...

[izawaniek]

Thank you. The relationships with narcisists are emotionally draining, their arrogance, entitlement and deceitful actions are sometimes too much to bear.

[LinYouToo]

The psycho pathic side of the narcissist comes out when they turn everyone against you in deep revenge

[bobpaff]

The worst is when they do this to your children! Both my ex’s have done this to great harm.

[PamelaMeinke-mo]

I don't talk about certain situations in my past or specific situations because I learned there is no need to retraumatise yourself from my therapist. Living through it is enough.

[shewins]

Can’t wait for this one! What surprises me is that the people they round up against you, don’t have a mind of their own to question the motives of the narcissist or see through the madness!!?? Oh, I know why- bc most of them are narcissist too.