Empathy Or Narcissistic Mirroring? How To Tell The Difference

Empathy is one of the most important traits for the creation of healthy bonds within a relationship. Narcissists can give them impression they are tuned into you by using a technique called narcissistic mirroring. But Dr. Les Carter describes how this technique can fool you into assuming the narcissist is understanding when in fact it is a ruse. Armed with insight and awareness, though, you can be less vulnerable to this form of manipulation.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, Tx. In the past 40+ years he has conducted more than 65,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[slickmashable]

“Mirroring” with intent to harm is the creepiest human behavior 😔

[myraluetje]

What's really creepy is when you notice them stealing your personality. I would watch him in public & he would interact with others like I would.

[gregh]

The most insidious thing is when they act like you owe them something and want to take credit for your accomplishments.

[dyoung]

Once I realized what a narcissist was, thanks to channels like this, the empathetic side of me feels sorry for the narcissist. Then I tell my empathetic side to shut up😂

[dailyequanimity]

“Feigned empathy” with a sprinkling of smiling contempt. Yes, something feels “off” when interacting with a narcissist. Thank you, Dr. Carter.

[michellehoward]

I'm so disgusted by this behavior. They know what they are doing. IDC why they are doing it. It's ALWAYS unethical to be fake with someone who is being real.

[joannajohnson]

It took enormous courage today to leave a toxic situation. I am taking a pause & looking forward. I stood for my personal boundries. I am "no one's easy mark!"

[callalilly]

This really hit me hard. I was completely duped. I thought we were so in sync and so compatible. when the devaluing started it was the very things that I thought he understood and accepted about me that he used to make me feel crazy and rotten.

[shewho]

This is why I tell people who are just discovering they’re in with a narcissist that it’s not a great idea to do couples counseling with one. Everything they learn in therapy about you, will be gathered for future ammunition against you.

[shaddafugup]

I realized my ex-bff was a narcissist when she used the info I told her against myself. I dropped her like a hot potato. She's now trying to get my attention again. There is no loyalty with a narcissist. No thanks.

[dawnbailey]

A lot to learn. The words "they use information as bullets", really got to me. I hope my armour just got stronger.

[franklesser]

The dog is doing an excellent job of being a good boy!

[veryhappy]

A narcissist will help you for a while and demand after a help.

[MiMi-ogwx]

They always have to "win".. The I'll get you before you get me.... Heaven help us if we speak truth, and they get butt hurt... Then they punish you, and have no remorse afterward. Boundaries. YES. Don't believe their empty apologies or excuses either. I have no problem standing my ground now, thanks to my family on here and you Dr. C. Thank you all so much! ❤ Hey Gus!

[dafyddaprhys]

I see sympathy as relating by ones own experience whereas empathy as feeling the others pain.

[-ForSuch-A-TimeAsThis]

Well, I married a narcissist without realizing he was a narcissist. It became clear after the divorce and I was able to think for myself and understand why I was never allowed my feelings because according to him I had no clue how I’m supposed to think, feel, speak & make decisions that mattered. My truth wasn’t his truth and if I went against his decisions then I was against him. It’s crazy!!!

[mgb]

So unfortunate that some of us learn this too late.

[kathrynswords]

it took me to be in my 50s when I first realized my mom is a narcissist. i call this being in my "recovery' .I have witnessed her mirroring empathy and it freaks me out and also, sadly, creeps me out! she does it with no true feeling. it is so weird ( and sad)

[douxchats]

Yep...mirroring by a narc is kind of like the old saying, "Come a little closer said the spider to the fly !" Waiting really is the best advice, time is your friend. Pull back and with a wide eye, consider, does their behavior remind you of a five-year-old copying every move his playmate makes? If so, RUN. This really was one of the earliest giant red flags I totally glossed over because I thought he was being "so kind". It was really just the door of purgatory cracking open...RUN !!! On a happy note, so glad to see Gus....he is just total joy, even if he's napping 💜

[edwardmoses]

It's always something wrong with you and has nothing to do with their behavior. Example: "I know you've been grieving and that's why you won't talk to me. I hope you don't hate me." This is the kind of thing they do. They try to reinforce the idea that you have the problem and they could never have done anything wrong. Then they try to bait you back in by leveraging your empathy because you naturally don't want them to believe you hate them and would feel the urge to correct them. Don't fall for it.