Covert Narcissism | 5 Signs to look out for

Covert Narcissism can often feel like it's hiding in plain sight. You are usually left with feelings of extreme guilt, anguish, and misunderstanding.

Covert Narcissists often present as vulnerable or "fragile"

In this video, we go over 5 signs that will lead you to a deeper understanding.
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Timestamps:
00:01 | Intro
00:06 | 1. Withdrawn Self Centeredness
01:55 | 2. Extreme Hypersensitivity
03:50 | Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissistic Abuse
04:13 | 3. Passive Aggressiveness
06:42 | 4. Quick to Exasperation
08:41 | 5. Terrible Friends
10:13 | Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissistic Abuse
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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#covertnarcissism #narcissist #bpd

[ceecee]

From having a covert best friend I found her top 5 signs were
1. Victim mentality
2. Constantly put others down
3. Always tried to dominate others to feel secure
4. Moody 99% of the time
5. Didn’t seem to have an adult understanding of empathy, love, morals

I’ll give you another 5 for free
6. Was very paranoid would ask questions in multiple ways to see if you gave same answer
7 jealous of other friendships
8. Materialistic
9. Poor relationship with family
10. She would twist my words and try to convince me the false reality was real

[ABD-poxf]

Withdrawal from the world doesn't necessarily mean it's due to narcissism...
Narcissistic abuse for EVER and A DAY can cause the same. The world is dangerous when you realize you don't have boundaries to keep yourself safe.

[lauriegelman]

I would add a footnote to number three. In addition to the eye-rolling and cutting you off in conversation, if, perchance you were talking about something positive that happened to you, they will take a moment to pop your balloon, then, of course go back to hijacking the conversation.

[Maria-fuvh]

Not only do they yawn but they also keep looking at the clock when you are talking.

[troll-troll]

So great about the yawning, Richard! I have never heard anyone mention it. I had a friend however (for decades, I hardly dare to admit it) who would call me and talk about herself, her life, the lives of her grown children, her plans to write a book, her connections, her opinions, non-stop, finally running out of steam and coming to the point of "And with you - everything o.k.?" I would feel provoked to jump out of my paralyzed state and tentativly start a sentence, maybe two...I could hear by her sudden silence that she had already checked out. And then she would YAWN, noisily, without shame, again and again. I would feel embarrassed for burdening her with my existence, and would keep everything very brief. Invariably she would cut things short anyway. She really had to go now, this call had gone on way too long, she had to get on with her important life - insinuating that the delay was all my fault. I always felt horrible afterwards, smacked, humiliated, used. There came a point where I called her on her bullshit, in regard to a particular issue. How did I dare to question her motives! I have never heard from her since. But yes, the YAWNING....so maddening.

[ichdu]

You described pretty much my wife, lucky me, after 10 years I finally gave up all hope and decided I am going to divorce her.

[colleenshea]

I don't know any narcissists who are withdrawn --- they need people too much for their supply.

[catbishop]

I suffered at the hands of one of these for the last ten years and am now divorcing. You feel called to help "save them" from their sadness and sorrow, but then they suck you into their black hole and try to never let you go. Mine was also very possessive of me, controlling, and emotionally abusive once he had me living with him.

[soaari]

Oh my goodness, this explains my ex so well. He could talk about himself and his situations for ages with enthusiasm and gestures, however when I spoke, he glazed over, looked bored and crossed his arms. Got angry over literally nothing and picked fights, I was then left feeling like I had emotional whiplash.
Wish I had seen your videos sooner!

[pkaboo]

This is really great! This is actually the way my mom was! I finally realized it was my early training and it was what caused me to believe that "walking on eggshells" was actually a part of true human relationships.... So much so, that I would be under the impression that if I wasn't "walking on eggshells", it must not actually be a truly emotional I'm very, very gladly realizing all of this! I really wish I would have known a lot more a lot sooner!

[writer]

Yes, yes, yes! I know a particular covert narcissist who is terrible at listening and rudely interrupts to catch back up and then just shrugs her shoulders and goes back to not listening (I'm the one doing the listening and observing); who rolls her eyes as soon as someone else starts talking; jumps right into defense mode if questioned about anything; and has no friends. This list is spot on with what I've observed too.

[kindofkosher]

It seems like there is a ‘narcissistic pandemic’ and I’ve withdrawn from society bcs I’m seeing this everywhere. I did date someone like this, very passive aggressive, very self centered, very self withdrawn. Very victim mentality.

And I have to check my own behavior. I attempt to be kind and compassionate and it absolutely hurts my heart when I see these signs. I’ll be listening and supporting their conversation and as soon as I start talking about my life, they start to look away, the eyes glaze over…. But once I start talking about them again and their life, they become engaged again. It’s so odd and disheartening to me. So many members of my family and in the community are like this. It’s caused me to limit my engagement with anyone who does this and It’s sad, bcs even when we try to be emotionally responsible and explain what this behavior makes us feel, they are passive aggressive with their gas lighting.

Thank you, Richard! You’ve really helped me understand what is transpiring in todays society as Narcissistic behaviors to look out for and either go no contact or limit interactions with.

[gwendolynwehage]

You are right about everything you are saying, I have seen it all. LOL The covert narcissists I have known tend to cry when confronted about how they have acted. They cannot lash out overtly so they cry and play the victim instead. And, you are absolutely right, they don't listen or respond to us. As soon as the covert narcissist is not the center of attention anymore they change the subject as soon as possible. You are so right about the eye-rolling, which is a show of contempt. The covert narcissist only does good things for others if it will elevate the narcissist in some way. They have to have a good feeling, they are not the kind of people who will take care of a sick person as minimally as possible.

[darrentimms]

And use emotional manipulation tactics to control those around them. They may also gaslight or project their own flaws onto others. Despite appearing insecure, they have a strong sense of entitlement and can become resentful or angry when their needs are unmet.

[markymark]

I had a covert narc gf always felt like I was the one doing wrong. Looking forward to this

[catbishop]

This has to be my FAVORITE review of the covert narcissist. I must be at a really healing point in my experience (I'm leaving them finally) but Richard kept making me laugh! "They are TERRIBLE listeners! " 😂

[charlenerhoda]

I so appreciate your humility in sharing how this relationship snuck in. The examples you gave were spot on what I have often observed myself and wondered about. I could listen to this content over and over and learn something new. Thank you so much for all you do to help us. Because, you have made such a difference in my journey to healing.

[dorotaurbas]

I admire you both Master Sam. V Master Richard. Your worka helpa People and that is the most important think. Please try to be frends. Your are the perfect team in narcs topik.

[elkekirkpatrick]

Thank you for so clearly describing the most difficult - - correction, the most impossible - - member of my family! This really helped.

[teenarl]

I hope you and Sam Vaknin patch things up. These volleys are interesting and somewhat entertaining, but your collaborations are truly excellent, and I hope will happen again.