How to kill a geologist

Flint weapons are equally effective as a distraction

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YouTube Audio Library - Sarabande - Joel Cummins

Hi, Al. This video is a dub of a tumblr meme about how to kill a geologist. Please show it to people who will like it. Thank you.

[JeaneyCollects]

Flint weapons are equally effective as a distraction

[FrancisR]

I love how it went from "purely theatrical" to "contingency" to "its going to happen sooner or later"

[sedelonx]

I showed this to my geologist brother and i can confirm it's true, he only read "obsidian" and started telling me about all the lore.

[timothymaddux]

I literally showed this to a geologist friend, who said they had already seen it.

...and they forgot about the wooden bat.

[mudfish]

I like how in the theoretical scenario, the geologist is a persistence predator that waits for prey to exhaust itself.

[edgargaebolg]

"I work too closely with geologists not to have a contingency plan" sounds like something Batman would say if he had a job closely related to geology

[reallouiethecat]

the only dislikes are from geologists who have found this and fear what would happen to them if this spreads further

[creature]

As the daughter of an archeologist, for archeologists you walk up to a congregation of them and shout, “DO YOU DIG UP DINOSAUR BONES?!” or if you’re in a pinch “Wow, I bet your job is just like Indiana Jones!” Their righteous fury will be so potent, as they are enraged at their important job getting shoved to the sidelines or badly represented, that they will be compelled to run at you with full speed, textbook in hand. You can use this time to lure them to the closest covered pitfall trap, which they will not avoid because contrary to Indiana Jones movies, avoiding pitfall traps is not part of their job.

[jackofarcades]

obsidian is very interesting, its a metamorphic non-vesicular rock with a glassy texture, which means it doesn't have any crystals. it is very sharp but as it as volcanic glass it isnt that well suited as a weap-
**catches baseball bat with hand**

*you fool, the logo on the baseball bat was made of graphite! i could see it the whole time!*

[schadenfreude]

Fun fact: the weapons Aztecs used were basically baseball bats with obsidian edges

[unamused]

As an aspiring Geologist. This both scares me and fascinates me

[noahperry]

As a geologist student I immediately thought that it was too fragile to be used as a knife

[toxinrazor]

And for marine biologists just say: “Sharks like to eat humans for fun.” Or something and they will explain to you why they don’t, and you can use that time to get the marine biologist ran over by a rhinoceros because marine biologist can only see aquatic creatures.

[Lylaris_or_Garuk]

As a rock collector, i would be *extremely* distracted over a good piece of some obsidian! (Please don’t kill me!)

[horoscopes]

the brother geologist practically CONFIRMED this is how to eliminate them.

[sock]

My dad studied geology and when he had to have open heart surgery he asked the surgeon to use an obsidian scalpel on him and the surgeon actually did for some of the operation. So just asking the geologist if you can stab them with an obsidian knife may work.

[baguettewoman]

As a future herpetologist: Someone approaches and they say "Do you work with poisonous snakes like rattlesnakes?" as I'm explaining the difference between poisonous and venomous that's when they'd stab me with a deer antler as herpetologists can only see reptiles and amphibians

[karimitickaeloogreattemlor]

"To kill a -Mockingbird- geologist" by -Harper Lee- glumshoe

[keithgawain]

For historical geologists and paleontologists: substitute the knife with a scientifically inaccurate dinosaur toy or image

[skinnywhiteboy]

To kill an engineer you just need some large, complex, and well designed weapon. We'll be too distracted analyzing it that we do not notice you caving in our skulls with a large rock.