3 Examples of Narcissists Who Play the Victim

This video answers the questions: Can I provide a few examples of narcissists who play the victim?

Narcissism:

There are two types of narcissism: With grandiose narcissism we see characteristics like being extroverted, socially bold, self-confident, having a superficial charm, being resistant to criticism, and being callous and unemotional. Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by shame, anger, aggression, hypersensitivity, a tendency to be introverted, defensive, avoidant, anxious, depressed, socially awkward, and shy.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a Cluster B personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. It has nine symptom criteria, five of which are required for a diagnosis.

1: Grandiose sense of self-importance
2: Fantasies
3: Special or unique
4: Requires excessive admiration
5: Sense of entitlement
6: Manipulative
7: Lacks empathy for others
8: Often envious
9: Arrogant attitudes or behaviors

Joseph P. Forgas,, Rebekah East. On being happy and gullible: Mood effects on skepticism and the detection of deception. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 44 (2008) 1362–1367

DASHINEAU, EDERSHILE, SIMMS, AND WRIGHT. Pathological Narcissism and Psychosocial Functioning, Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment. 2019, Vol. 10, No. 5, 473–478

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[cclarksonable]

Narcissists overestimate how much people think about them, and exaggerate how much they care about others.

[BBFCCO]

The worst is someone who abused you your entire life, then gets sick and tells everyone how horrible you are because you don't care about them. The gut wrenching pain, frustration and rage I have at this person is beyond words.

[eshim]

I was in college in upstate New York when 9/11 happened, and there was this girl in my dorm who was hysterical because she claimed her brother might have been in the towers. Of course, everyone rallied around her, and was trying to comfort her, and at the time, I felt bad about feeling something was off about the whole thing. We find out later, she didn't even have a brother. Pretty sick.

[jamesshaw]

I think banging your head against a solid object is most of our experiences with narcissistic people

[bitchenboutique]

When I think of how many “crazy women” he told me about, how he only attracts “crazy women, ” that he’s a “crazy magnet”... and now that I’ve left him, I’m positive I’m his latest “crazy woman.”

[jonesy]

It took me a long time to recognize the victim games played by narcissists. I got so caught up, and really believed everything was my fault. For years, I thought I was wrong and deserved every bad thing they did to me. This kind of manipulation and guilt tripping is exactly how people get trapped with narcissists for decades and decades. We're always living in a state of confusion.

[lucannon]

My Father: Beats me, offends me, tricks me and verbally totally abuses me

Me: Cut off the contact to my father, due to reason not be be injured again

My Father: Tells everybody that he did his best, but I am difficult and that I am a bad person because I do not contact him anymore. Portrays himself to be the poor father who has been ignored by his evil son

[dixieginger]

Thank you for debunking 2 widespread misconceptions about narcissism: 1) they are all intelligent 2) they all have great social skills.

[janetreed]

My mom was the epitome of the victim narcissist. She insisted on making the cake for my grandparent’s 50th anniversary party. The cake fell over during the trip over. Oh, the drama that ensued was all encompassing. The day became all about her and the cake. This happened in 1990’s and I just recognized her tactics after watching this.

[stevemorris]

I'm a retired social worker, I find these case studies to be very interesting and helps me make sense of things I have seen during my career.

[endofservice]

"The narcissist always thinks everyone is thinking about them"

Reminds me very much of someone I grew up with

[Lele-gsmh]

The Martyr Narcissist is so much more dangerous than the normal narc. They'll sabotage not only their life but yours too in the process. & You won't even realize this until you're too far into the game to stop playing.

[ALT-vzjn]

My mother is a vulnerable narcissist like this. It’s had a significant negative impact on my life. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

[TheMidnightGarnet]

I think in the recent past, I have tried to manipulate someone into caring for me. My lack of insight into the situation caused me to not realize that people can have sympathy for you but that doesn’t mean that they’re obligated to be in a relationship with you. Sympathy does not equal love.


You can’t make someone love you through guilt, sympathy, and/or shame, not only do they recognize what you’re doing but they also resent you and the fact that you’re trying to manipulate them.

You can’t make someone love you, they have to choose to. And I’m glad that at 27 ( 3 years after all of this) I finally realized how toxic I was to him. And I am slightly embarrassed and ashamed of myself, but I’m glad I caught this early on in my life.

[jennimoon]

A narcissistic situation I observed this week was; a daughter was in tears as a friend almost succeeded in his suicide attempt but the daughter's mother attempted to make it all about herself by instead of comforting her daughter who was hurting, kept phoning friend after friend saying how traumatized she as the mother was. This behaviour made the mother receive attention instead of the daughter being comforted for the traumatic near death of her friend, the mother was using the event to get attention instead. The daughter was just ignored and used as narcissistic supply for the mother.

[mskatonic]

The typical situation I run into is the narcissist pushing boundaries, making passive aggressive insults, provoking, antagonizing, etc. Then when I finally tell them to cut the crap I'm the big meanie who abused them.

[patchlange]

I've found covert narcs all use the victim scenario. They use drama for attention. Every time you scratch under the surface of their stories, it all falls apart. It's like dealing with toddlers. I've had an ex-coworker send herself flowers! Unbelievable!

[horncow]

The only time I ever saw the narc in my life get seriously wound up (and show his true colors) was when I did the gray rock stuff and acted indifferent. The calmer and more logical I spoke to him, the crazier and angrier his responses became. That's how you really 'get back' at them. They can't stand not seeing you distraught over their games. Then he asked something of me, and I said I'd do it as long as he did something simple for me in return, which he didn't. He then acted outraged when I stuck to my word and didn't give him what he'd asked for. Like I'd stabbed him. Even though I told him weeks ahead of time what I expected if he wanted my cooperation. They're truly insane.

[mixrable]

Dr. Grande is one of the few youtubers that deserves every view and dollar they get.

Quality content mate.

[michaelasanielevici]

My narcissistic ex-boyfriend falsely accused me of assault, it took time, money, hiring a lawyer not to end up in jail. They are outstanding liars.