How to Deal With Difficult People

Your ability to deal with difficult people will have more of an influence on your overall success and happiness than any other skill you can develop. It's easy to deal with positive people, but the true quality of your personality is shown in times of adversity. In this video, I discuss how to deal with difficult people and take control of any situation.

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[mv]

Great advice Brian! I did this with my brother extremely hysterical and depressed when he wanted to kill his wife's lover and ignored the thought about his 3 daughters. I asked questions, and did not say the words "but.." or "however" (" but that's wrong.. but you would go to prison.. but how about your kids"). Instead i said, "And do you think it's the right thing to do? And how do you imagine your daughters's life will be after that?" "And how will all these things make your life better?" By asking questions i also directed him to look into the future, and activated his greatest desire to have a bright future. It was the most difficult situation I ever handled more difficult and stressful than my customers and my job. And let me tell you, it works!

[mmm-komy]

Thank you for the great advice. It is common to find out that difficult people have problems in their lives, I have compassion for them. But I have problems too yet attacking other people with no reason is only going to bring more problems. I can't understand why they do it.

[Kevimilk]

Thank you Brian, I have a very bad conditioning and very "negative" automatic responses, especially with difficult people. But im working on myself and youre a great mentor sir. Thank you.

[chanson]

I wouldn't like to be sitting down listening to someone who is not being human. Imagine someone talking to you and only their lips moving and hands are at their sides. That's a manikin with a mouthpiece. Thank you Brian for all your had work and sharing.

[thewaytosalvation]

I really like Mr. Tracy and his teachings. Our prophet taught us if an ignorant person attacks you just say 'Salam' (peace).

He also taught us if you don't have anything good to say just keep quiet.

[joanntudtudnavalta]

Hi Brian, I have had to deal with difficult people all my working & personal life and to this day I still could not say that I have become "good" at it. Can I just made a small addition to this challenge of dealing with difficult people - humility. Each time I have had to swallow my pride when "I step back and stay calm" and it is humility that helps me not get totally affected by the negativity of the difficult person. Never so easy but always best for the situation.

[theswcoaching]

Plenty of wise words here. I talk a lot about maintaining our equanimity myself, and being curious about other people's reactions.

[rheymieelaran]

Ask questions instead of attacking.

this really helps me a lot ❤❤ thanks!

[artibhatia]

You are great presenter and eloquent communicator have been following ur books since many years

[luismarty]

Very good advice from Brian. Sometimes it´s difficult not to become angry or feel nervous when somebody is rude or clearly tries to take advantage of us but is worth it to calm down and make him or her to realise that. In my opinion, the hardest thing to handle is when we have to deal with a toxic boss. It´s like playing a Chess game... However, the positive aspect of this is that it would be a continuous training to learn how to deal with difficult and toxic people! ;) Many thanks for sharing your video! xx

[JagMEH]

I love this. I am a dog groomer and sometimes my pet parents are very hard to deal with. So i smile a lot and ask questions and this has help me to explain why i have to lets say shave down their dog and it also helps me find out how i can help them with thier pet.

[davidbrown]

Thanks Brian. This is sound advice. Often difficult people are looking to "feed" on another's energy. Being silent confounds them and deflates them.

[fayskelley]

Good points. You can sometimes dissolved toxic relationships but not always practical.

[papermason]

Excellent advice, I don't like to argue with people, and I don't like it when people use subtle forms of intimidation or harassment. This is a good way to diffuse the situation, and keep it on level ground. Thanks Brian.

[carolinewaite]

Thank you Brian - Although I have always dealt with the great British Public I have never really been taught these skills and now need them. Thank you for making it so clear.

[inwishin]

This is great advice that Brian gave. There was another comment on this thread that mentioned the hand gestures that Brian is using. I understand that hand gestures are effective in public speaking. I would encourage Brian to use less and freer gestures so that the presentation may look even more natural. Sometimes hand gestures can look a bit 'placed' and this would be advisable to avoid. Anyway, I mean this with the utmost respect and honesty because Brian is so knowledgeable in so many areas of life and communication. I learn so much from Brian's videos and admire his work having purchased his audios in the past.

[aa]

what should we do if we find ourselves negative in difficulties ?!! I didn't know I can be this much negative !
but I will change it .

[mosesm]

Thank you for sharing. What if they dismiss your question ?

[zhouwu]

Very intelligent. Very wise. I'll adapt this strategy.

I have to admit, I can get stressed out by other people. And I can also stress other people out.

But now, I know that I should just learn how to stay silent, stay still, and smile. And after they are done talking, to ask questions.

And that should work.

[TheAcmeGuy]

Great advice, thank you Brian. I pay more attention to what is being said, and the calmness of his voice, then the hand gestures.