How to Deal with Difficult People at Work

Dealing with difficult people you work with can be a nightmare -- how do you work with them? How can you get things done? What if you have a difficult client or a difficult boss or a difficult colleague? In this class, I review my science backed framework for dealing with difficult people at work.

In this video:
0:00 Intro
1:34 Who are your zombies?
3:07 Types of zombies
5:51 What makes people happy at work?
7:06 Relationships with your coworkers
8:16 Be the best version of yourself
9:13 The golden rule vs. the platinum rule
10:45 The power of personality
12:15 Personality is not a choice
13:20 Your zombie's matrix
14:18 Openness
22:44 Conscientiousness
29:23 Extroversion
32:45 Agreeableness
36:15 Neuroticism
42:03 Example strategies
43:00 How people skills are involved
46:55 People skills can be learned

******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you.

My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also a multi-time bestselling author of:
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again.

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PS - Join the conversation on social!

[MrPaulS-dbjb]

As a working professional I can provide a line I usually use to avoid conflict but still stand up for myself in a very respectful way that has no repercussions. Simply say “I apologize you feel this way, if my work performance is affecting you in a negative way please see a leader and let them know. If you would like to provide constructive criticism I’m all ears. Otherwise please keep it to
yourself” I hope this helps the community

[danl]

I wanted people to know this was a pretty incredible talk that can be used across spectrum, not just work. I was impressed, worth listening to a few times. Truly.

[teenguyen]

Vanessa u are amazing!!! I operate like u do and that’s bc I was raised with not confronting people and not been taught to communicate well. I follow you and pass your amazing videos to coworkers. Everyone should listen to you either for work or not! You are so good and hv so much wisdom! It’s one of life’s greatest lessons…❤❤❤❤
Your positive energy is extremely infectious
Thank u thank u thank u

[lucianamartinez]

Hello Vanessa 😊

You gave me such an eye opening experience today! I am an introvert and for the last year I have been working as public area manager in a high-end casino but I've been battling an inner Rollercoaster. At days I'm good and happy at work and some days I'm overwhelmed and over it and I now know it's because I'm overwhelmed, drained and exhausted by people!!! I have little to no quiet time and I'm always rushing. Thabk you so much for opening my eyes and helping me understand its not the position or the role but me as an introvert I just can't handle being around so many people ALL the time, ALL day long!!!

[chadgardnerdds]

I can say with a BA in psychology and BS in business management on the side as I was otw to professional school, she just filtered out all the fluff in 80+ hours of collegiate education and made it directly applicable in an hour. I’m amazed.

[smc]

The money I make makes me happy at home!!
Enjoying my coworkers makes me happy at work!!
Which makes me happier at home as well!!

[leeboriack]

Where were you when I needed you in the 90’s?! This would changed my career’s path and outcomes.

[sornram]

It's hard to change zombie who are lazy to work and manager doesn't hold that person accountable. It sucks having those people working with you cuz it makes the teamwork spirit goes away and lack engagement kicks in for me. I now only do 70% productivity and learn not to care too much about work. Good encouraging video though

[didlidoodles]

Hello Vanessa! Thank you for this training session. I lost my calm today with a difficult employee (my frustration has been building up for months!) and I felt bad afterwards. It put me in "solution mode" and I immediately came to you for guidance. I did the exercise as you were speaking and it made me see Zombie M in a new light. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your wisdom!!!

[goblack]

There is an impression I have with Vanessa: she's all for adapting to people. But at the end of the day, if you're not doing something wrong or inappropriate, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to please people. That's where ethics come in play, to remind people to know their place and remain professional.

Also, if everybody does this, then it becomes very difficult, like they're trying to adapt to you as you're trying to adapt to them.

However with all of this being said, it's very interesting, thank you very much for this content.

[smc]

My company is happy to pay for me advancing my people skills🤷🏼‍♀️so cool!! 🤗

[Entropy]

If they boss you around, boss them right back

[seacoast]

My husband likes it when people get to the point. Otherwise he thinks their wasting his time at work and and anywhere else. ❤

[ms.TorresJua]

My coworker happens to be all the above on Your Zombie Identification chart!

I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not.

[spiralsun]

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING!!! The PLATINUM RULE!!!

I have said this EXACT same thing about the golden rule!! People always look at me weird when I question the golden rule but it’s one of the largest sources of conflict there is.

I was ready to dismiss her as just one more extrovert explaining why they are good with people and how you should be more like them... BUT SHE IS THE REAL DEAL!!!

[donnar]

Wow, while reading some of these comments, a few people realized THEY we're a zombie. Great insight for them! I hope they've improved.

[hesterprynne]

I found this video randomly and it was SOOOO useful. Thank you so much. Your advice actually makes perfect sense and I love how the strategies are practical.

[heirloomburn]

Thanks for your website
It helps me work with the criminally tilted and violent people that get hired for physical labor through government programs
I’m able to be respected by people that just a few months earlier were thinking of how to dispose of my body!
Not untrue, there’s a lot of business owners that aren’t in the white collar profession
Your advice and tutorials work across all strata and diverse backgrounds
Im subscribed to help me survive another day in paradise

[francish]

All true what you say worked with difficult people and with communication break downs.

[TheRealJayGoff]

What an amazing find on YouTube! I heard your interview with Craig Groeschel and became an instant fan! As a speaker, leader and coach, your lessons have opened my eyes to increase my influence!