5 Ways To Lose The Victim Mindset - 5 Ways to Recognize It

In this video I’ll be talking about I will be talking about how to get out of the victim mindset. I’m going to give you 5 ways to recognize whether you have this mindset and 5 solutions to break out of the victim mindset.
Setbacks, disappointments and hurts are part of the uncertainty of life. How you respond to these setbacks determines how satisfied you will be with your life. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them.

How do you know if you’re wallowing in victimization? Here are 5 ways to recognize it.
1. Most things have a negative tone to them.
2. You ask yourself “why” a lot.
3. You mull over things - a lot (this is called ruminating).
4. You don’t think very highly of yourself. You are your own worst critic.
5. Your first emotion is anger and you are often resentful of other people’s gains.

Here are 5 solutions to break out of this way of thinking.
1. Build your confidence by creating small achievable goals.
2. Turn your attention to giving to others. This helps you overcome neediness.
3. Make a gratitude list. When you are in victim mode, you focus more on what you don’t have.
4. Get closure on your past hurts.
5. Take ownership of your decisions. No one can make you feel a certain way without you allowing it.

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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[DrTraceyMarks]

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There are now two audio tracks. Go to the settings wheel on the right-hand side of the video player and choose the English (United States) track.

[missd]

Notes:
1. Everything seems to be negative.
2. You ask yourself why a lot.
3. You mull over things a lot.
4. You don't think highly of yourself.
5. You always resolve in anger.

Overcome:
1. Create small goals ("good things happen to me)
2. Giving others ("show love for others")
3. Make a gratitude list.
4. Get over past mistakes. Put it behind you.
5. Take ownership of yourself.

[millag]

I have many reasons to not want to be a victim again! One of them is that by being a victim you attract a lot of predators, narcissistic/psychopathic types and other toxic people! Not only that, but you even might seek such relationships, because you're "used" to being a victim. Not a cool feeling...
Thank you for your helpful videos, Dr. Marks!

[lindadallas]

I'm on my own personal self-development and improvement .

[xoSaharox]

This is so well explained. Victim mentality blocks so many blessings and goes beyond the psychological into the spiritual. Thank you for your service :)

[JadeDRail]

I think it's okay to let yourself feel sorry for yourself sometimes. If I'm having a really hard time and cannot seem to stay positive, I'll let myself slip into self-pity with the understanding that it is temporary and I'll get up and try again after. It's also good to remember that you have to identify when you actually are the victim. I used to blame myself for everything. I was bullied so much in school, my parents had to get a lawyer. I used to think I was a horrible person in another life and this life was my punishment. I would blame myself for the cruel actions of others. Sometimes, people really WERE dealt a shitty hand in life and I think it is okay to acknowledge that and feel bad about it sometimes as long as you know it is temporary and you will get back up snd fight another day.

[heatherbarnes]

I've made myself sick from being in the Victim mindset, I'm my own worst enemy. Thankyou so much for this video. A true wake up call.❤️💐🌞🌼🌻💙🙂😊

[piedathemokona]

When I was in high school, my autism made me needy, and I openly cried. I believe expressing my tears openly came from seeing the other Asian girls cry openly about grades. (I’m Asian.) So to fit in, I was hard on my self over my grades. I’m really glad my parents never pressured me to get high grades. As I moved further East, there were less Asians, and the Caucasian people didn’t really understood why grades were so important.


Grade 10 and grade 11 were hard. Being autistic, I felt guilty for accidentally taking too much from friendships, which lead to me loosing them. On top of that, I got bullied for being a loner. People picked on me saying “if you weren’t so ‘special’, you’d have more friends.”


On top of school problems, my parents were getting divorced, so I think that was also a source of my neediness. And mother turned into more of a tiger parent.


It wasn’t until grade 12 where I learned to put my foot down. You said in the video about feeling sorry for yourself. Thanks to Madonna’s ‘Human Nature’ song, it helped me stand up for myself. “I’m not your b**** don’t hang your s**** on me.”


I’m so glad I made grade 12 my year.

[JOVI]

It’s a hard habit to break especially if you have been programmed to a victim mentality. But the more you work on it the more it feels natural. Yoga helped me build so much confidence in myself in a way that self pity, blame game and victim role have no room in my life anymore.

[melaniecoleman]

1. Create small achievable goals
2. Give to others
3. Make a gratitude list
4. Get closure on your past hurts
- what draws you to these bad decisions
- press reset and trust you can move on for better
5. Don’t let past hurts define you
Challenge:
Identify how you wallow into victim mode

[ChrisFinkJensen]

This was very helpful. For me, I notice that when I slip into a victim mindset it's often because I'm feeling disempowered by something or someone in my life. That, in turn, triggers fear who kicks down the door and starts a big party with all of his buddies -- self criticism, pessimism, anger, etc. Talk about hard to concentrate! But... pausing to notice that I am playing the victim script again allows me to take a little step back and start using some of the tools you've presented. Thank you, Dr. Marks!

[SookkisWay]

I used to act like a victim back in the days... I constantly asked WHY? But one day God delivered me from this mindset, He taught me humility and literally from that one hour of prayer, I no longer asked why, instead I said thank you, bc I realized everything happens for a reason and I am a stronger being from my obstacles in life. It wasn’t a daily thing for me bc of God’s will. Hopefully this can be your story too:) good day!

[speakenglishwithtaylah]

Could you do a video on how to set emotional distance from a family member or friend? Thank you! I love your videos!

[anamorales]

I think you are an extraordinary mental health resource. The word "victim" reminds me of another topic: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A lot of people associate PTSD with the military, but there are so many other trauma survivors. Could you talk about this disorder and the treatment for it? I'm specially concerned about natural disasters' survivors and how the lack of appropriate treatment can really take a toll on the quality of life of many people in US and around the world.

[ChrisTahji]

My girlfriend constantly gives me pep talks and I finally decided to research what my victim mentality means. I realize how much work I have to do in order to get to a better headspace. I'm reading the Bible for the first time. And I'm focusing more on doing things that make me happy rather than focusing on the scenarios I create in my head. I want to start doing things that make me feel good to remind myself of who I am at heart and really push myself to change my physical appearance. I've been skinny my whole life but haven't tried to seriously bulk up. That's my own fault and I own up to it. Now I can start somewhere and hopefully this leads to more things changing for the better with my life

[jamesni]

Don't be better than someone else today. Be better than the person you were yesterday

[kittymellow]

I often find myself feeling like people hate me... or at least that they would rather distance themselves from me. It’s so hard to just have a conversation. Earlier in the shower, I found myself wondering why people treat me this way and asking myself what was wrong with me.

[alberth]

You can’t be positive all the time, then you will be living in the fantasy land. Sometimes, you need to be real on what you don’t have.

[digitally_ascended_conscio]

"Why bother" is the name of my game. Life has finally beaten me down into submission.

[donnaspears]

I definitely have a victim mindset. Everything that goes wrong or doesn't go my way I blame the other person for being included inconsiderate. If anyone doesn't like me I begin to feel unwanted like when I grew up. I'm needy because I crave praise. If it doesn't come automatically I have a way of reminding people. “Hey, didn't I do good today?”. I hate being alone, and believe in bot good enough.

I would like to stop this mindset and free myself because it's dragging me down.