What Breakup Is Like For The Dismissive Avoidant | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

In this video I talk about what a breakup is like for the dismissive avoidant. Especially if they are the one who is being broken up with!

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!

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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #DismissiveAvoidant #ThaisGibson #PDS #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Dating #BreakUp #BreakUps

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[Zullala]

I feel so bad for my DA ex. I broke up with him because I was tired of feeling invalidated and that my needs should be repressed in order to make him feel comfortable... But I can see how much pain he's in and it breaks my heart! I would like nothing more than to go back to him but I know I can't survive in that kind of atmosphere. I'm just not ready. I've made big steps towards understanding both myself and him. But I just don't have the energy to be the only one researching, going to therapy, working on my self love and biting my tongue. I know he's put in effort, a lot of effort for his energy levels and again it just breaks my heart to say this, but it's not enough even if it's all he can spare. I just want to hug him and tell him it'll be ok. I can't see him again because it'll be too easy to get sucked back into the cycle. It's so sad!

[amaliaesposito]

I really miss my D.A ex. Life is good now, i'm taking care of me and alot of the stress was our relationship. But damn I can't lie I still miss that guy. I know he was goodhearted, but he just didn't understand this concept. Maybe one day he will. I hope for that, he wasn't the best bf but he deserves to be happy. Hope he rememebers me and looks into these things and grows.

[tinkerz]

I left my DA for good. I told him I loved him but that I knew he could not love me in the way I needed. There were no games, just truth.
I’m sad but oddly feel reliever because the pain of being with this man is over.

[troyl]

It is a form of catharsis to write this. I am 99.99% certain that my former relationship was to and with a DA. It hurt worse than any relationship I'd ever been in. Being with her, suffering through involvement with her really made me dig down deep into myself to find answers because, for me, being with her was a form of unintentional torture. I recognized my own brand of attachment anxiety before I had some kind of title for it. I was "triggered" 24/7 with her. All I felt was bad, neglected, unimportant, irrelevant, a pest. Yet somehow I loved her more than I ever had anyone else. Though I miss her like crazy, still, it's best that the relationship is over with.

[testtest]

They don’t feel anything. Meanwhile anxious partners are left in shambles!!!!

[Demiyah]

Loving the DA reminds me of Khalil Gibran's beautiful poems:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it be like a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

And I believe when you can master to balance the tension between independence and togetherness, intimacy and freedom, then your love may become as deep as the ocean.

[Merbella]

Not all DA'S were neglected. Many are from parental smothering. Please talk about both sides not just the neglect.

[DayaTom]

"my" da just ditched me after 11 months of a good long distance in the middle of an argument,
when I expressed I needed some time to process the situation, he just said "goodbye". It was clear I just needed some time and didn't want us to end.
He on the other hand has been completely ignoring my attempts to talk or say goodbye in a civil way.
I'm more of a secure but fearful-avoidant in the past.
DAs know how to locate and rip your beating heart out while you're still breathing.
We deserve better than this.

[howtosober]

The first thing anyone that isn't a DA should know about what breakups are like for the DA is that a) No, they're not sorry, b) They're not at all interested in knowing or caring about how they hurt you and c) In the unlikely event they come back, they will expect you to treat them as if nothing they did to you in the past ever happened and act like they're being wronged if you ever bring it up. They created whatever story was convenient for them to make themselves the good guy and you the enemy, therefore you deserved to be left because they "had to get away" from you. Remorse doesn't exist for DAs.

[Stella-cvmc]

Another brilliant video 🥰 it's amazing how things start making more and more sense the more that I watch you.
My DA also shut down and pushed backed after I finally said "I'm done". I felt like he just didn't care but seems like this was his reaction bc he did care a bit. That's nice to know even though he's doesn't put enough effort for me. So thank you :)

[ARbode]

My DA boyfriend was very supportive when I first started doing work on myself. I never asked him to do it himself because I know it will make him run off but he is applying my new skills on himself now.

[grayhalf]

When I'm single I tend to be very self-sufficient and don't fall into a relationship easily. Once I'm in a relationship my insecurities tend to get activated and I become much more needy. I wonder how common this pattern is.

[demitraschmidt]

Thank you so much for this. I am DA and my boyfriend and I were just about to celebrate our anniversary when he wanted to end things. In the past I struggled with committment fears, but with him I learned that it is not something to be apprehensive of. When he broke up with me I was so emotional for the first day, but since then have hardly felt anything, like a big wall was put up like you say. I felt guilty, and this makes more sense and is someyhing that I also need to work on. Thank you thank you thank you

[sarahs]

My DA ex broke up with me when they had met someone else. For the past 8 months I have been doing so much work and reprogramming to heal my abandonment wounds. I gave her the space and freedom I thought she needed. After 7 months of no contact we recently had contact with each other and arranged to meet. She told me she's the happiest she's ever been in her new relationship but she feels awful because she wished I was the happy one. I am so lost in understanding how she could be so happy with this rebound and what that means for me because I still love and miss her everyday. I don't know how to let her go

[cherisew]

Rebound quickly to avoid pain... hmmm. But a rebound never lasts.

[DELIVERANCE-TODAY]

Emotions are meant to be recognized in order to help us get our needs met. Great video, thanks!

[londonsounds]

I just can't thank you enough
My wife and my marriage is making SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW. She's DA, I'm secure. Thinking of doing the course too

[BedsideAdvice]

This came perfectly in time. My dismissive avoidant and I just “broke up” :/ thank you so much, Thais. You’re the best !

[brandonsanborn]

I left my dismissive avoidant ex and then got rejected by her when I tried to get her back. Really wish I saw this sooner; but it is helping me understand her better and be at peace with the process. We’re making progress! Thank you so much, Thais!

[vanessar]

Didn't really answer how a DA handles, or what they experience during a breakup.