Developing Your Self-Worth — Therapist Explains!

Psychotherapist Georgia Dow explains how you can develop your feelings of self-worth and how important it is for your levels of stress.

🚨 DISCLAIMER: This video series is provided for informational purposes only and should not substitute for a personal consultation with a professional.

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[icywinterof]

Tip: when I'm feeling really unhappy with my physical appearance my negative voice says "you're a disgusting monster" and I've learned to counter that with a positive voice that says "no, we are unhappy with how we look but we are working on it". It changes it from "I hate myself" to "I an aspect of myself in this point in time in which I can still work on changing". It really helps to still make changes but also prevents me from taking it out on myself.

[CuddleCuttlefish]

This could literally not be more well timed of a video. This is exactly what we talked about in my last therapy session. I've always struggled severely with low self worth. It would seem weird why, I have had really supportive parents, and majority of kind and supportive people in my life (at least past middle school). Yet I've always been exceptionally cruel to and hard on myself. Me and my therapist have discussed it most likely being very related to my ADHD. It's a disorder that causes a lot of disappointment and failure due to its traits, and I've always held those things against myself. Despite knowing I had it from a young age, I never really got explained what it means (I taught it to myself as an adult), so I blamed all that stuff on myself the majority of my life. I mean, all I saw was that I was struggling with things that people around me found easy, what other conclusions would I come to than the fact that I'm simply worth less? Not as good as everyone else.

My journey to not hold my ADHD traits/struggles against myself, and learning to love myself in general, has been a long journey. One that feels like it hasn't had much progress. I finally decided to make my last session fully dedicated to talking about my severe lack of self worth. Because I realised it's the root of most of my struggles in life, and that unless I can change it, it'll keep holding me back from being happy or satisfied with myself or anything I do. It'll keep making relationships and friendships hard, as I keep being unable to accept/believe others kindness, and avoid standing up for myself or communicate what hurts or bothers me.

I guess the only thing I'm struggling with right now, since I already was getting the same advice in this video from my therapist, and know it'll help me. Is that I just can't do it... I can't write something positive about myself, and when I try it just makes my negative thoughts spiral instead. Not to mention it's hard to consistently do something every day when you have ADHD. I'm starting to be a little worried if I'll ever manage to build up my self worth. If this is the only technique I can use. I can't be defeatist though, I need to keep trying. But if I keep being unable to do it, I don't know what else I can try.

[spark]

Working on my self worth is something I'm trying real hard at. Especially how I talk to myself. Your videos help so much you have no idea. Thank you Georgia <3

[trollzynisaacjohan]

Be realistic on your strengths and weaknesses. Compliment yourself. know when you've done good things for others. understand self accountability. show humility when you've done wrong. your self esteem can be unlocked over time with your own validation. Remember don't worry what others think about you. focus on being better person than you were yesterday. don't ever compare to others. compare to your former self.

[BlackFireLily]

It has been a difficult journey for me leading up to this point where I need to convince myself that I am a capable person. There is still a lot of frustration not being able to accomplish my goals, so I am trying to remind myself that every step, regardless of how small, is a step in the right direction.
You're doing a great job, keep going, believe in the me that believes in you.

[obara]

Clicked on this as soon as I saw it, because I definitely need this. After being severely bullied at age 10 and 11, it really took a toll on my psyche. After they called me ugly for so long, to this day I still don't like pictures, and I'm 25. And I *know* now that I am anything bit conventionally ugly, but I still hesitate to take pictures. I hate it.

In 2020 my dad told me I haven't believed in myself since I was 10 years old, and to hear it said so plainly really got to me (My dad has Grog's bluntness but only a 5th of his empathy, lmao).

I internalised all the negative things I was told in secondary school and they weigh me down to this day. My mom recently said it shouldn't bother me now that I know when and where it came from. Before I went to that awful school, I was confident to the point of arrogance. I thought I was the best.

But I told her it's not that easy. It's like words etched in stone, not just something that can be wiped off.

[TheCostantinus]

I watched several, 15 to 20 minutes long videos about self-worth, and this is by far the most useful one. I'm just starting taking care of my self-worth and this is a great foundation to start my journey. I couldn't thank you enough!

[xKyl]

Low self worth has been a struggle my whole life. It's lead to more frequent and intense durations of anxiety and depression. It's a core belief that takes time and energy to change. Your video is really well stated. After multiple years of REBT, I'm starting to realize I'm worthy of life, love, and the pursuit of my own happiness. Thank you for the video.

[The_Story_Of_Us]

I found my self worth truly about a year ago, when I decided I wanted to pursue my interests directly as a profession. I am fortunate enough to do this, I am now studying to be a game designer and I love it. I've had a love for games for years and I decided to pursue not a related career I assume to be profitable out of some sense of obligation to make lots of safe money, but to directly pursue making them myself. And I am now the happiest, most fulfilled I have ever been in my whole life. I have come to finally love myself.

I believe action, meaningful action, hopeful action that you truly believe in your heart will lead to a brighter future of creating things you feel proud of, that you can feel a personal sense of ownership over, is the way to develop true self-worth. This sadly is not within everyone's grasp, our world isn't fair like that. Some people may only be able to pursue their interests as a hobby, and I'm sad that we live in such a world, but until we can see the world allow those at the bottom to do what makes them happy rather what they need to survive (my deep respect towards those trying to make that world a reality), we need to make the best out of the hand we're dealt. Not best as in making more money than others, best in so that you spend as many days as POSSIBLE in your finite life doing what makes you feel fulfilled, whatever that means for you.

[Marcmpj]

I'm training to become a writer and I have to fight every day against my negative emotions and self-worth. I think this video can be a stepping stone in my journey. Thank you for making content to help the people around you.

[jcnorn]

Georgia! You gunna be so proud of meeee! I started doing a list-journal-type-thing, every day I write down all the things I've done that day and what I ate and how much soda I drank. I've gone from answering the question of what I've done lately from 'I slept a lot' to 'I done all these things!' and it's making me feel more accomplished and better about myself and it's like I have proof that I'm not so lazy as I keep telling myself I am, I am doing things during the day :D I also mustered enough courage to get a different living assistant that helps reinforce those feelings :3 I still have doubts, but I feel like I can battle them a little easier. Though the last few days I've struggled with keeping the journal up, but I'm going to power through that too, I'm determined! Georgia is the bestest Georgia!

[clubbyvasighn]

Man, this is something I've struggled with since I was like 8 years old. I used to run and hide in the closet to cry and break myself down after my mother would yell at me. I would stay there until my siblings found me and calmed me down. I've been working on this for about a year now. I think I'll try the Journaling. Thank you!

[spacedad]

This is what I need. This is how I need it to be explained. Nobody's ever really explained this to me this way. Thanks!

[hufflepuff_halfblood]

I uses to have really low self esteem and had really cruel self talk. It took years to get to where I am. Now I encourage myself and am a lot more compassionate. Journaling helped a lot

[palomaparker]

I just wanted to say that you are really helpful!!! Tks a lot 🌺🌺🌺

[williehughes]

Great video always love your approach with how you tackle these subjects I'm curious though if you're gonna take a look at the characters of the owl house as there are a lot of characters in that show with a lot of deep issues and seeing a professional examination on these characters would quite interesting.

[FairyBogFather]

I really needed to hear this, thank you. I used to have more confidence and a more stable sense of self, but childhood traumx caught up with me and completely shattered my view of myself and my capabilities. Now I feel like I'm rebuilding that healthier relationship I used to have with myself. It's really hard, because I can tell how different my behavior and thought patterns are now, but it can be hard to come up with ways to challenge or alter or even cope with them. I appreciate this lil' tip, though, and will definitely be trying it out!

[kimarous]

I find self-complements a struggle not because I don't see it as "not worth my time" - instead, I view it as dishonesty. I've been told to say "I like me; I really like me" before... when I really, genuinely don't. I'm complemented on skills I haven't practiced in years, tasks I completed a long time ago, but when I think about who I am or what I do at present, I completely blank. Why lie to myself or pump up old achievements as if they're present truths?

I'm able to keep a lot of the overt negativity at bay - notice the early warning signs, refuse to acknowledge or dwell on negative thought patterns when they arrive, diverting my mind off negativity when feeling down, etc. - but as for building myself up with positivity, I'm genuinely not proud of myself in the present and would feel ashamed about complementing myself with what feels like self-gaslighting.

[tomsimpkins]

You released this the day I needed it, thank you.

[dohremi]

I just wanna say this talk was so calming. Really gave me helpful tips too🤗