How People Can TELL You Have LOW SELF-ESTEEM

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Does your vibe instantly broadcast to other people that you feel "less-than"? I call this the Underdog Effect. For a lot of people with CPTSD -- even when you’re not conscious you’re doing it, you’re signaling to people your low self esteem. That hurts your ability to have positive relationships, and that, in turn, makes it harder to heal. In this video I teach about the subtle ways past experiences of abuse and neglect can seep into the ways you behave, the way you think, and the way you hold yourself a little apart from where you really want to be in life. I'll show you steps to take to change how you feel inside, so you can elevate the impression you make as a healed person.
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[sws]

This is one of your best videos in my opinion. It explains so much about why I’ve lived the way I have. I feel my best when I’m my “weird” self but I’ve finally learned how to get along with normal people and life is so much easier. I still draw my strength from who I know I really am though.

[cclark]

It’s maddening how things that weren’t my fault are now my responsibility to heal.

[simonanardi]

Procrastination and all bad habits are self-punishments, due to the belief we don’t deserve better!

[danielc]

I get imposter syndrome whenever I start to feel too confident around people. The one thing I learned about growing up with my toxic family was, being a confident person was scornful act of defiance.

[cynthiajohnson]

I started meditating again about three weeks ago and writing out my fears and resentments. And just this week I noticed I was literally walking with a spring in my step. The moment I noticed I got that positive feedback jolt of yah baby, this is the energy I want to project out in the universe and I can't wait to see what kind of bouncy, upbeat energy swings back toward me. So far so good.

[erinmcgraw]

"I drove people away, i was acting weird" I really FEEL that!!! ❤ So simple, so true!

[indsight]

My husband and I, both CPTSD diagnosed, have an actual underdog as a pet. She's a beautiful Miniature Australian Shepherd named Mimi WooWoo. When we got her she was sick, starving, untrained and scarred from beatings. She instantly loved us as we began feeding her the right food, teaching her to sit-stay before receiving her food, and treating her skin lesions. Then we taught her lots of other tricks and giving her responsibilities around our garden and home. Her personality has blossomed and she, now age 7, bounces around with the enthusiasm of a puppy. She had bad manners around visitors for about a year but now eagerly welcomes guests and loves performing tricks for people and has so many friends she should run for office. Consistency and endlessly training her to do important tasks, like digging for garden plantings, herding our ducks and opening and closing doors for her disabled mommy and daddy, have transformed our underdog from a snappy brat into a proud tiny farm dog that everyone loves.

[CherylMuir]

To the magnificent soul reading this: You are valued. You are loved. You are so, so worthy 💗

[thecatalyzing]

Needed this so much. I spent my entire life self-loathing, and it always led to being treated poorly by others as well. Thank you.

[ShoJ]

Thank you 😊
I have been alone a few years now, and I am happy. Never again will I allow anyone to treat or speak to me like I am worthless. That goes for Family and men.

[jeffreypmitchell]

I advocate for those who are bullied by society.

[lunasea]

1) bad habits
2) faulty descisions
3) Distorted perceptions
These are the things you need to work on to heal.

[ericak]

Ever since I was about 12, I've had this black hole feeling in the middle of my chest above my stomach, an ache I was waiting for someone else to take away, so I tried to patch it with drinking and smoking and hanging out with unsafe people. So now I'm choosing coffee and YouTube and laundry while this video helps me sit through my feelings. Thank you, Anna!

[tanyatanya]

Working out with hand weights and body weight at home has increased my self confidence. Now I walk more upright and obviously feel stronger.

How one dresses is also a big indicator of how you feel about yourself.

[Divine_Beauty-uhxi]

This is what low energy feels like to me. I feel anxious and irritable in this state so I seek ways to raise my energy before being too sociable; exercise, good music, clean and simplify my surroundings, walk with the dog, etc., whatever it takes to feel more at peace.

[siennaprice]

I used to think I was stupid, worthless, unloved, unwanted, and all this crap. Well, now I’m starting to come out of that. And I’m now starting to believe, what if I’m not stupid? What if I’m not worthless. What if, just… what if, I am lovable? One of my hobbies is music. I can’t go a day without listening or thinking about music. I almost retired from making music, because I thought I wouldn’t be good enough. But I just started picking back up on playing music, and I’m rediscovering myself. I love to play the piano, and I love to sing whenever I get the chance. I’d love to play more instruments in the future, and I would love to work on my voice more so I can hit higher octaves. I know I have it in me to do that. But I’m just not comfortable to put my talents out there just yet.

[vickielewallen]

I didn't even have a crappy childhood, and i *still* value her advice and opinion, she's very knowledgable.

[David-uchc]

I wish had I known this sooner. But I started learning a few years ago, just doing the basics is how I build my self esteem. Clean up after myself. Stick to a schedule. Do the things. It changes something in your brain when you start doing esteemable acts. Over the past few years this shift in attitude has allowed me to build routines, have success professionally, even get more into shape!

[chelseamiracle]

The discovery of this channel has probably changed my life. I had diagnoses that ran the gambit from bipolar, panic disorder, anxiety, depression, ADHD, when really it was the trauma of my formative years that did the damage. I finally found a therapist who told me you have PTSD. I even went to a specialist for ADHD who said no you are not ADHD. I think she was headed the same direction but it was too expensive for me to keep seeing her.

I was bullied by kids for being a bit darker in complexion than them in my Kentucky school from the moment I hit second grade. Then it morphed into being told I was ugly. Then I became pretty in the eyes of many all the sudden. I had ugly duckling syndrome. I dressed weird. I acted weird. I still had crooked teeth and bad skin and my dad didn't ever let me forget it. I overthought every interaction with others. I ended up with abusive men over and over or pining obsessively over unattainable ones. I was starved for love and affection and looked for it in horrible places. I had a vivid fantasy world and never asked for anything from my parents - so I might as well have been Cinderella while my sisters demanded EVERYTHING because they learned if they didn't, they would get nothing from my parents. My parents weren't parents. My sisters are now obsessed with controlling everything and being crappy to me still but I don't care.

My mom was being battered by my dad daily in front of me. I was my own parent and my younger sister's parent and often my father's parent. He had untreated severe schizoaffective disorder. He was beating my sister. I saw everything. I heard everything. My dad also has strong narcissistic tendencies. We all had to be perfect. We had to look perfect to the outside world. Money was the most important thing then your looks (as a female).

Nobody was helping with homework, if I went to bed, if I didn't wear the same thing from the day before. I looked like crap because my home life was absolute misery. Some teachers treated me like I was a nuisance and a bad kid. It hurt me just as much. I didn't know how to say I have an abusive home.

The scars remained in adulthood. I was always messy, late for work, up and down and all around with my emotions. The list to see the counselor in college was 2 months out. So I never went. In jobs I was told why don't you have any confidence, you are too mousey, I was often a scapegoat for issues I don't even think I was a part of. I was a target of bullies.

Finally, I was almost sex trafficked. That's what led me here and to therapy. Someone tried to victimize me in the most horrible way possible because they knew the quiet, timid girl from before. I stood up to him. For the first time ever I started calling people out on their BS. I started telling my family their judgmental expectations were not ok. I told my narcissist sisters their shit does stink and no I'm not abnormal or a broken little girl. I'm a girl who was beaten down from the time she was old enough to really be involved in life.

I couldn't even see it with my own eyes. I could see the child me - enthusiastic, outgoing, and excited about everything - was ripped away. I became somebody else because of what happened to me. Now I know I have power, worth, and I can change. I deserve a happy life. With boundaries and someone who treats me well. I deserve to be treated with respect at work and no I'm not an imposter. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and all of those managers who told me I sucked - I'm successful. I'm going to become even more successful with a routine and therapy. Thank you for all you do and for validating and hearing and helping the many of us who have gone unheard for so long.

[KrackmcKitty]

I always wondered why it's so easy to be treated like a piece of trash when you're not constantly displaying a happy attitude, this honestly annoys me how everyone immediately decides to kick you when you're already down. No one wants to admit that they're part of the continuing problem.