A Narcissist Explains: Why the Narcissist hates your good qualities when they used to love them.

Why the Narcissist hates your good qualities when they used to love them.

Welcome to The #Narcissists' Code. If this is your first video, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the #narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The abuse victims get validation and the #Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

You can find me on -

[Kendall]

Lee, thank you for showing up so vulnerable today in this episode.
I truly appreciate your wherewithal to strive to be honest and to be a better you for yourself, your children and your wife. All the best to you dear Brother.❤💐

[mir-jan]

Hearing you talking I feel sorry for every narcissist. It must be a lonely life. I am glad to know their mind, but I don't want to be a part of their lives. As a empath I had many narcissist in my past, they have scared me soo much. I will never forget the filling of being drained physically, emotionally.And how much time I needed to be "normal" again.

[karmagal]

Yep! Right again. You’re beautiful, intelligent, kind, loyal, determined, strong turns into you’re too opinionated, stubborn, flirtatious, etc. In other words you won’t do what my parents and I tell you to do.Ha!

[Coral]

This is so true. He loved my community work when we met and then mocked it 10 years in

[surfshack]

To survive you have to become a little narcissistic yourself otherwise you'll go crazy. It's a game. But you have to be a player because if not you will get played. You have to constantly entertain the narcissist or get the heck out.

[browngirl]

Once the narcissist gets bored with you and wants something new, it's a rap! Devalue begins, and You will. Never get that good guy or girl again! Facts

[roheard]

I always felt like I was the enemy in that relationship. I remember we got into an argument one time and I yelled, "I'm not your enemy! I'm trying to support you!"
If only I had known what I was dealing with and seen this video sooner, it would've spared me a lot of heartache. BUT thank God for clarity and growth! 🙌

[drlarrymitchell]

I love you because:
1. You're smart.
2. You're funny.
3. You're always ahead of everything and you always see it coming.

I hate you because:
1. You're smart.
2. You're funny.
3. You're always ahead of everything and you always see it coming.

[xoxo-vpww]

This is soOoooo true. They will put you on a pedestal and then hate that they put you there. Like WTF!!!! I try to play myself down so much when I’m around them b/c I know that their compliments are really rooted in jealousy. It’s so sad. I literally have to play mental gymnastics to navigate these ‘relationships’ ... AND when I’m with them and other people excessively compliment me, I know it pains them so bad. It makes the room awkward/uncomfortable. I look forward to changing my environment. I hate that I didn’t understand this sooner.

[niomizandervelt]

I agree with this. Overtime I started to see that my narc boyfriend didn't have much of a personality. He would feed off of my energy & portray himself to be the same. I notice that he didn't just do this with me. Even when he would watch YouTube videos he would mimic them. I thought it was strange, but I understood what his condition was. There are things that he did say he loved about me & he did start bashing me later for those things. I knew that his behavior wasn't normal. I started to feel like he was trying to live up to my standards & he could not meet them. I am a naturally happy person & he is not. He spews a lot of negative energy from his mouth & I feel like I always have to combat it with something positive. I've learned not to internalize everything that he says & does. I honestly feel sorry for him sometimes because I couldn't imagine what it would be like to suffer from a condition that is incurable.

[perculiarwarmth]

True he loved my laughing, dancing and singing all of the sudden am called childish and that my laugh is evil lol

[TheStacyusher]

Congrats on the clever name. Can’t believe nobody else thought of mental healness!

[bayyybeee]

I’ve dealt with so many narcissists and it always hurt me more than anything when people were jealous of me because I felt that way my whole life so it’s just a constant obsession about analyzing my every reaction to not make someone hate me lol

[SarahSmith-muwc]

I'm a new subscriber and these videos are helping me so much, although I've gotten to the place where I try very hard to focus more on MYSELF and my OWN healing and what I'M doing wrong rather than why my narcissist is the way HE is. But to have this 1st person point of view insight really clarifies and validates SO many things and emotions for me. I'm not crazy. Who knew? 😉
Thank you for doing this and spreading awareness. I imagine there are days that it's not easy to look at yourself honestly and tell thousands of people about what you or others may perceive as your faults and deficits, and I truly commend that. 🙏

[lisarodriguez]

I'm in awe of your strength, Lee.🌷
Blessings to you and your family.

[susanmarie]

please please have me on your show, you are so correct and bring such awareness. My ex Narc mirrored his own Narc daughter going to college events, bringing over kids to drink with him and he was 56 when I met him!! He never went to college, didn't succeed in those accomplishments and lived through her. She graduated college in '21 without a JOB. She told me to leave her father because she couldn't get what she wanted out of him with me there. I had boundaries and she hated them, he hated them, I left them both together to destroy each other now that the "mirroring" is over. You are so so great. I have so much to share too being on the other side dealing with NPD. This one wasn't my first Narc. I came a long long way. I learned to stop fixing and he helped with that. Loved him dearly but I sued him for the money he owed me and didn't go back to the relationship even when he begged. He got caught financially hiding $$ from me and I wanted my $$ back and won. Hopefully you'll do a topic on the financial piece with a Narc. I have a story for you!!

[Santiago]

I've put a few people onto your channel and gems like this one is why. My mother is a full-fledged narcissist and I've known it for decades. The whole "mirroring" thing is a part of her personality I've been witnessing since I was a kid. We could literally be in the car on our way to a function or an event and I would watch her personality "switch" as soon as we walked in the door and she would be this crazy amalagam of my grandmother, her best friend, her cousin and a friend of ours from church and I would be like "who the heck is she trying to be?". Salute Lee, you call it just like it is. BTW, I'm a therapist now and she swears I'm an awesome therapist and understands psychology better than anyone until I call her out on her issues and then magically "I don't know what I'm talking about" and "oh you just think you're smart".

[mz.martinez]

Makes so much sense. I love watching ur videos. They make me realize my value. And realize And remind myself why I had to let go of the relationship. Even though I loved him.

[mukukke]

Thank you for your open words!! It helps sooo much- greetings from Germany

[NurseLisaD]

Can you explain why Narcissists do the opposite of EVERYTHING you ask. If you want intimacy they withhold. If you don’t want intimacy they want it. If you don’t want to talk they do and so on.