The Narcissist Wants You To Be Miserable

Narcissists hate you being happy and the narcissist wants you to be miserable. Do narcissists hurt you on purpose? Why does the narcissist always ruin good times? The narcissist hate your happiness because it is not about them. The narcissist, or person with narcissistic personality disorder, think only of themselves. Narcissists think they are superior and view the world from their viewpoint only. The narcissist gets mad when I am happy because it isn't about them at that time. Narcissist hates to see you happy because that means there is something positive in your life and not theirs. Why does the narcissist always ruin good times? This narcissist superiority is based on their need to always control and manipulate and this is what makes narcissistic abuse part of a toxic relationship with the narcissist. The narcissist hates your happiness because they don’t understand it. The first reason the narcissist hates you being happy is because they are self-focused. The narcissist thinks only of themselves and evaluate situations in the context of how it affects them. They always look inward to protect against shame and narcissistic injury. Due to only being able to look inward, they can only consider things from their viewpoint. However, they take this a step further and expect everyone else to see things from their point of view as well. To experience a different opinion or conclusion would mean you are not considering things from their perspective. So, if you are happy and the narcissist is not, then the narcissist is not ok with your happiness. The second reason the narcissist hates you being happy is because they lack empathy. The narcissist doesn’t understand the concept of happy in someone else and they can’t relate to it. Because they can’t relate to this feeling of happiness, they don’t know how to appropriately respond to someone who is happy and this can come off as rude and dismissive. This lack of empathy and perspective taking relates back to the first item I just discussed. The narcissist is inward focused and only thinks in the context of how they are feeling. When you are happy and they can’t understand your happiness, they then compare it to their current mood. If they are low on narcissistic supply and need you to feel bad about yourself, then they will show their dislike for your happiness in the moment. The third reason the narcissist hates you being happy is that the narcissist is envious of others. For a narcissist, people are seen in two categories: targets for their own envy, or those that envy them. As the narcissist becomes envious, they experience anger and frustration and do not have the appropriate tools to manage these feelings which can also trigger shame. As the envy develops, the shame takes hold, and the narcissist will often move into narcissistic rage as a maladaptive way to manage their feelings of shame. They will dive into their toolbox of narcissistic punishment tactics and turn their negative emotions on someone else, while never addressing the issue in themselves. Narcissists have no empathy and this lack of empathy allows them to be mean to others and crush their happiness with no remorse. The narcissist enjoys seeing you cry, and any other way you appear unhappy. Narcissists dont care about you and narcissistic abuse recovery can be hard but you can do it.

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[mandybell]

Yes narcissists will create a reason to bring ya down ! If you are being too happy just for a moment - there is hell to pay !

[Ikaros]

"When you feel joy, they suffer. And when you suffer they feel joy"

This is the truth about them. You can see the smirk on they`re face when they see others suffer. They are sad creatures, always desperate for attention and control. This is all they care about.

[garycordle]

Your misery is their happiness remember that one 👍 Dr Emily and survivors and thrivers 🙏🦋

[ninagalvani]

Conversely, they are happy when you are sad.

[davidsutliff]

I always wonder how my wife tends to make everything about her even when it remotely isn't! She will internalized absolutely everything and then if you bring any idea to the table that challenges hers, then you aren't listening to her, her ideas aren't important, and I am controlling. What an absolute mind F

[nataleefrances]

My narc gives me so much attention if I'm unhappy. If I'm happy she ignores me. I can see the anger boiling but she won't say anything, but it really shows even if she trying to hide it. She perks up if I'm sad. Also says I know how unhappy you are, even if I'm happy at the time. She likes me sad. These type of people are so damaging and exhausting. No wonder no one likes them!

[etherealdeal]

I was on a luxury vacation with the narcissist and got a cheap massage on the beach in Spain. When it ended I was happy and at ease after drama night before. Narcissist then exploded on me in some rage. Still have no idea what he was complaining about. He discarded me days later

[monarene]

One day before the discard I said, “I’m so happy you’re here.”

[cindybrown]

actually they are quite predictable. leave these miserable people

[thebackstreetphilosopher]

I’m glad this came up as a suggested video. I’ve been dealing with family members like this my whole life. I’m now distancing myself from a former friend who is a covert narcissist. Anytime he sees me doing well and healing, he tries to sabotage it. Thankfully, he’s getting the message and keeping the distance.

[greendrake]

I love hunting and love fishing. I love the outdoors. I love my family. I love a lot of things. It's narcissist, and I'm dealing with. There's more than one to pick up a little. They solely took my friends. My job and I'd be working on the second job. Now they're trying to, they're charging for it. They turned all my friends. My cousins my brothers, my kids. And turn them all against me. The next steps they have or I like fishing at like hunting from what I understand I hear they threatened me with just taking my guns away and stopping me from fishing.They even actually give you hints.And they actually tell you what they're gonna do next if you really listen to it

[jansefran]

If there is somebody who is miserable - that is NARC.

[Jason-Moon]

I know I'm a year late but this is an incredibly awesome video. All of my life I've experienced contacting my narcissist parent whenever something wonderful happens in my life to spread the good news. The results are bonkers. It just happened again. Somehow I hope that over the years things will change. I just called my parent to share the wonderful news of my new job and even more good news on top of that. I was so incredibly happy. And the conversation ended quickly with my parent calling me a liar and saying that I was shouting at them and they never want to talk to me again. ??!!! This is the horror of narcissism. Everything in this video is spot on. If you display happiness around a narcissist, they will attempt to destroy it and upset you by even the most insane absurd and illogical methods. And they use everything they know will upset you in their arsenal to bring you down. Narcissism is a horrifying affliction for the people who have it and for the people who have to deal with them.

[rosagonzalez]

They can't resist our happiness, because they are continuously feeling as rubbish. ( If fact, it's logical )

[iamlelexo]

My mom is fucking EVIL. God awful. She does anything and everything to keep me trapped, ruin me, and uses every mistake in my life against me AND THEN says how she ‘was trying to help me.’
I can deal with her but the worst part is how deeply she has manipulated my dad that at this point, he’s the same as her. He was once a good guy and I know he is at his core but every time he backs her, he just makes her worse. Now it’s nonstop. She won’t fucking stop. She won’t leave me alone and has made it her life’s mission and full-time job to try to make my life miserable.

The punishment never fits the crime. The crime usually doesn’t even happen or is stretched sooo far from the truth for their benefit.


I’ve done a lot of research on these type of people and if they’re anything like her, the only key to happiness is far a fuck away as possible. Yet, sometimes it seems impossible to get away because she does everything to try and keep me where I am & behind.. she doesn’t want me ahead, moving forward, or an independent and successful adult.

She wants me right there with her, JUST to tell me how she DOESNT want me there & how I’m a loser that can’t seem to get it right & that I’m a selfish, lazy, spoiled bitch.

[idontknowlloyd]

a wise person once told me, "they need more ghosts/pawns" 🤔

[JoshuaLoveofficial]

My wife does this to me regularly. I’m generally really happy. And my wife can’t stand that I’m happy. It’s exhausting.

[karlmarx]

I graduated and I'm enjoying an easy life preying on narcs they all think im gonna pay my debts!!!! Muahahahaa😂

[eternalrhythmflow]

You really nailed this message, Emily. POWERFUL truth! Thank you SO much for these words. They mean more than I can express.

[Jesusisking]

My deceased dad was a full-blown narcissist. One thing I've learned is to keep my successes to myself as I now understand that my whole family was affected by my toxic dad. I am naturally a happy, caring person and as I have learned over the past 2 years on the subject of narcissism, I am much wiser and now recognize that toxic people including family members are honestly jealous of my happiness. I've also learned to NEVER REACT when around these predators as this is their #1 method of trying to control me.