Coping with Infidelity: The 2 Stages of Pain

When it comes to healing from life-changing pain and trauma like infidelity, there are two stages everyone must travel through. Sadly, some never make it to stage two and instead remain stuck in stage one, paralyzed with anger and confusion. Some choose to stuff their emotions down, hoping to outrun their pain and suffering. What stage are you in right now? Regardless of where you’re at today, we can help.

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- What kind of affair was it?
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“The Recovery Library gave me 24/7 support because I could be up at 3am and search for the topic I was struggling with. It also helped as a couple because we could investigate topics together so it wasn’t subjective. I trusted this information because it was from professionals who also had lived through and recovered from infidelity. Double credibility in my book.”
- Amanda, Florida

HEAL with Affair Recovery:

[mjvela]

I have been in this stuck phase. He is doing everything and anything to restore our marriage. He is doing what most spouses would want after an affair. But why can’t I accept it. The pain is there, some days are worst than others. It’s been 7 months since I found out and I still can’t wrap my head around how he can do this. I was blindsided. I want to forgive, I want my marriage and family but i am just so stuck.

[thatguy]

You never forget… unless they are gone forever.
I don’t give my ex from decades ago a second thought… until now.
Decades later I’m with another woman who’s infidelity has gotten out of control.

[jenniferquill]

Thank you . I definitely needed to hear this and be reminded that I have to take a leap of faith and that it’s okay for me to be happy.

[cobusvanheerden]

Thank you so much for this channel.
As a sex addict I have annihilated my marriage and destroyed my wife. But listening to what others went through, and survived gives me some hope.
Please keep helping others, we can't talk to anyone before it's too late.

[laniec.f.]

Good advice. I'm realizing I need someone to talk to about a lot of this... I'm feeling stuck.

[howibleed]

Yet another Banger my friend-keep up the good work! -Michign love

[donnamilo]

I'm stuck in the anger, pain and hate.

[Heartspreppies]

I am so grateful for your series. I finally feel hope and justification for my feelings

[shreeji_]

Pain and Pain over and over everyday. is truely loving someone a sin punished with pain ? is this how the world is ?
why dont the cheaters feel it ?

[lorrainem]

Can you do a video about husbands that are very remorseful and ashamed and are trying everything to restore the marriage after a 6 yr affair, and saying it was only a booty call, nothing else but the wife cannot forgive or move on, it’s been nine months of finding out, and the pain is like I just found out yesterday

[sherapontaoe]

Thank you so much for the help & hope you give those of us who need you right now!

[otiliacantu]

Thank you for sharing your story. God is so good in using you to bring hope to my heart.

[gt]

I was so in pain.. In all aspects. Proud of his cheating. He is proud of what he did to me. He still look up to his mistress and still in his mind that's why whenever I mention negative things about her he will hurt me physically

[snehasinha]

Hi. Thank you so much for all these videos. They're really helped me stay grounded and understand my partner's perspective. Currently, my partner has decided to leave. I am trying really hard to make it work. We are doing the Bootcamp this week but have been unable to get reliable expert help. What can I do in this situation?

[victoriaspruell]

Unknowingly, I have been married to a narcissist for nearly 28 years. We have been physically separated for 1yr and 4 months. I have experienced physical and emotional abuse. There have been infidelities along the way as well. We were planning to do a legal separation but on June 3rd, 2022 I was informed that he is pursuing a divorce. He is having an adulterous affair and is currently in San Diego with this girl. The host of emotions is immense.

[cewilliamsable]

My wife isn't doing anything 😕. No accountability at all. I'm hurting all by myself

[vincewilliams]

My question is if you know that the infidelity continues how are you supposed to let go and forgive because you're being lied to on a daily basis not sure what to do don't want the marriage to end but the lies are literally physically and mentally killing me Terry he does seem to be trying and we are going to take a separation time 6 months I believe is what we're going to try but even after that I don't know how to forgive if he will not come clean with what he's done

[marienowers]

Haven’t seen Samuel in a while. Where is he ? Is he doing okay ??

[jldskd]

Not all remembering of trauma is a choice. I have Post Infidelity Trauma Stress Disorder (PITSD), and when a trigger occurs it is not like I am remembering the traumatic event, but in an instance I am there, as the traimatic event is happening, and feeling all of the emotions and trauma as though they were happening in real time. I think you do s disservice by implying that holding onto the pain of any trauma is a choice. Some of it holds onto you.

[mykehyslop]

My wife of eight years left me for another man two months ago.She also stole 1.6 million from my bank account.The police are looking for her.I can't believe she did this to me.😪😪