THE NICE NARCISSIST

#narcissist #covertnarcissist Are all narcissists mean and nasty? Not always. Some narcissists are nice, or at least pretend to be. But a nice narcissist can sometimes be more destructive than a narcissist that shows their true colors from the beginning. When a narcissist is nice, we may know something is wrong, but we may too confused to understand what it is.

Here is contact information for when immediate help with abuse or self harm is needed. It is recommended that you use a computer or phone that your abuser cannot monitor:

Emergency: 911
National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Crisis Text Line: Text "DESERVE" TO 741-741
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
YWCA - 202-467-0801
Canadian Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511
UK National Domestic Abuse Hotline: [phone]
South Africa POWA: 011 642 434/6
Australia: 1-800-RESPECT

[beth]

The cognitive dissonance is how you know for sure they have npd. If they seem nice but their actions cause you to question their behavior, trust your intuition.

[coach_amy]

I don't fall for the gossip where people tell me "I'm really worried about this person." I tell them, "Go let them know that."

[Jpl-zp]

Being miserable is enough of a reason to leave. Period.

[nmHispana]

That overly friendly and fake sing song voice of there's along with the hun or sweetie" has always been cringe and a huge red flag that I'm dealing with toxic.

[mohadesehsinichi]

My gosh, when you wish they had done something more obvious!! It's when you have experienced the most sutle gaslights!

[LoveBeliefTruth]

False persona, manipulation, wanting to be liked, wanting to be idolized and admired as great humanitarian… many reasons why narcs act ”nice” on the surface level.

[kimbuchanan]

Nice Narcissist is called Altruistic Narcissist, My husband is an Altruistic Narcissist. he is the first one to help the elderly neighbor with her yardwork or to help do research for information someone would need, he is nice to EVERYONE ELSE, but me. he is the typical narc in all other aspects, his flat out refusal to for anything he did wrong, he talks to me like Im stupid. after over a year of therapy, I have learned and gain my confidence back to the point where I call him out om his crap. Now I am at the point where I just throw is narcissism back in his face saying..."Do you need attention, or do you need to to react or get mad about something here ?" he does not like that but Im at the place where I dont care anymore.

[ccretrixx]

The help thing. Any time my mom offers help she literally just takes over. And then she also does this thing where she won't ask for help or allow anyone to help her but then will complain loudly about how no one ever helps her 🙄

[hindwidad]

Omg this was my exact situation. He was sooo nice to everyone else and mean to me behind closed doors. I even asked him once why he's one way in public and another in private, and he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about.

[D-me-dream-smp]

Key signs
. They do what THEY believe ppl need and not what they want or ask for - will react angrily if not effusively appreciated and acknowledged.
. They don’t listen or talk over a person explaining their issues and will ignore their input.
. They will try to control the whole situation and often complain afterwards about no-one helping or not being appreciated.
. Will require frequent validation and praise.
. Often “keep score” of what they have done for you and use it later as manipulation to get what they want.
. Cycle between being the victim or a hero.

[Might-lm]

It's death by 1000 cuts. You are in love with someone who is not the person they pretend to be.

[rhondathompson]

Thanks for this video. I have often encountered this everywhere and especially in church/ministry. I am very sensitive to when people are being fake. Nice narcissists are covert in their actions and cause more damage in my opinion.

[jessluck]

Sometimes a person may be nice, it does not mean that they are a nice person. Being nice is destructive when it doesnt come from a place of genuine care. Being nice can just be a way to get along with people. Thank you.

[chrisgorski]

My ex is a community narcissist. Nobody can call her out because so many others waiting to invalidate the accuser.

[thestrugglingoptimist]

My mom is definitely a "nice" narcissist.

[KleeKaiBreeders]

The ex narc was so nice, I was completely fooled.

[eniolamary]

Oh so true, not a partner but a family member, they seem to nice and willing to help but never do anything at all. Then they are so worried about your sanity, saying that you're isolating. Very confusing

[sandrathomas]

Wolves in sheep's clothing
The devil appears as an angel of light

[tommygal]

Thank you… I can understand this — especially when they make they “offer to help” followed by taking over. When they want to act like they care but then make you feel bad because you unpack things thoughtfully. When they tell you you’re looking at things wrong because you have had history with something and you’re cautious. When they lure you into trusting them over and over but then in such a nice way weaponize it.

[LoveBeliefTruth]

This makes it sound like a good person keeps up the false hope in others and doesn’t warn anyone of things that might go wrong for them. Narcissism is personality style, not some comments here and there. It’s not necessarily about unsupportive comments. It’s about control and power - THEIR, the narc’s self image. That is in the center.