Anger and Complex Trauma - Part 4/11 - Patterns

*****
Anger patterns - what happens in the nanosecond when your anger is triggered? It affects your body, thinking, emotions, attitudes and actions. Most people follow a pattern when their anger is triggered. It usually operates subconsciously. It is important to become aware of this pattern so that it can be changed.

*****

Become a Member!

Understand the Development of Complex Trauma in Your Life
Online Course: 12 Basic Needs

Discover how Addictions are Formed and Find Healthy Ways to Cope
Online Course: Addictions + Complex Trauma

Learn How to Parent Yourself and a Child with Complex Trauma
Online Course: Parent Bootcamp

Ready to Dig Deep and Learn Tools to Recover From the Negative Effects of Complex Trauma?
Online Course: LIFT Online Learning

[sunnygirl]

I’m 56 years old and NO ONE has ever said, “Maybe you have suppressed Anger”!! This is EXACTLY what I have. Thank You from the bottom of my heart for starting this channel ❤❤❤ I’m also telling others in hopes it can help them on there healing journey ❤❤👏👏👏🙌🏻🙌🏻

[sleepyjoeatemyiceacream]

This series on anger and trauma is one of the best things I have seen in my life. Thank you so very much.

[Spritual-life-lessons]

I feel so blessed that atleast I have this info to see and some one somewhere is validating my feelings, it’s hard to grow out of it and not get triggered.

[AnnLi-lmkd]

You are God sent❤. I suffered a lot. So tired and exhausted.

[alee]

Tim is a rock star! He just makes things so clear. Good will towards humanity!

[ilsevanheerden]

Tim surely is THE best therapist out there. He understands everything!

[waynewells]

Yea I spent millions gambling because I couldn't handle being with the trauma and didn't know it was trauma and I could be free without going to addictions. I tried to save native American languages while being empty inside. I had to stop trying to save the world and save myself. So much emotional work to do.

[trudytru]

I've got terminal cancer and I've unfortunately been neglected by drs to point of death. I am angry. Im struggling to cope with being nursed ect. It's bought up all my cptsd issues and I'm trying to get closer to God and these talks are like fast track recovery course for me.

[Mo-skld]

I had a moment of strong anger not long ago.
I remember it clearly, when I chose not to act in anger and leave the situation.
I know why it happened and what deep wound was filled an enormous amount of salt.
Sometimes, I don't know, if I made the right decision.

[Ellajaie]

I really hope i can implement these coping strategies because cptsd i got from an abusive relationship with a narcissist ( who i now can see was also carrying complex trauma and lashing on me ) - has really affected me. I had many many moments after my divorce that i went back to anyone in my life who’s ever disrespected me in the past - lied or took advantage of the fact that i was too nice ( or clearly not triggered without ptsd ). Now im screaming uncontrollably to my closest people ( yes it matters who triggers u like u mentioned ) and although what they did is bad - what i did with my anger cannot be taken back ( the words ) - you got every single thing spot in in this video and im going to make sure to study it. I’m trying my hardest. This is the worst experience of my life and if i don’t heal now I’ll have no one. It’s already cost me my most important relationships because i was seeking out justice from all the injustice. I feel like this video is talking to me. Every single trugger you mentioned is my entire personally

[iw]

Yep, my oldest sister is Pollyanna, I'm 10th kid it was very different for me. Justice is my hang up, but I'm learning to give it to God.

[pinargeneci]

I love how John Bradshaw explains how the dysfunctional family f**s you up growing up as children and how Tim Fletcher develops how the childhood trauma turns us into the dysfunctional adult children we are today.

[boxelder]

These videos could not have come at a better time. Thank you for breaking it down and making the connection to the actual experience.

[birdlady]

All of what you mentioned, are triggers! It is hard as it can be multiples of these at the same time.
I have been in survival mode since the day I was born to a malignant covert n who blamed me for ruining her life, and subsequent SO's who were evil/toxic (magnet for these types).
Being alone, has allowed my body to relax for first time in 60+ years!
I am slowly getting tools to re-construct myself so I can re-join the human race (and not feel guilty for setting boundaries and holding to them, trying so hard to not be a people pleaser - especially as it attracts the same people I am trying to stay Far Away from).
Thank you for breaking this down! It helps to give a 'picture' of the turmoil (causes & effects of it).
Now that I can name them, it should help to make the changes I need.
Thank you! You have a gift and a generous spirit, willing to help us ❤

[Chris-yfzs]

0:30 Anger now is from anger as a kid that was stuffed down, anger at injustice that weren't allowed to express

5:00 Injustice as anger trigger now based on injustice of the past. Ive gone my whole life without people paying and now I need this person to pay. [Watching the news]

6:35 Disrespect as anger trigger. Various forms of disrespect. Being questioned, contradicted, talked to in a certain tone, being interrupted, hundreds of ways to be "disrespected". All connected to wounds in past not healed from. Trigger exposes the old wound and anger rushes in to protect you.

8:15 being teased, old nicknames

8:45 anger as secondary emotion, means if certain emotions don't want to feel, like embarrassment, quickly turn it into anger a secondary emotion to cover the primary

11:30 ***know your anger triggers so when get angry you can ask why you are angry, then you can look at the wound underneath and can work on healing that

21:14 main point: there’s a hurt down there

29:30 no easy solution, hard fight…your anger does more damage than original injury. I’m tired of being injured and doing more damage to myself with anger than the original injury.

30:21 bite your tongue.

[danmalone]

Being mindful of what I'm thinking helps tremendously because it seems most of the time, but not 100%. I can recognize my mind thought process as a slow boiling point, leading to an explosion of anger similar to road rage very rarely happens, but is usually when I'm asleep at the helm, allowing my thoughts to run unchecked. Or I'm in an environment that is abusive my mind cannot process those things very well I grew up being abused and my mind just wants to shut down pretending it's not happening so getting away from those toxic environments for me is necessary.

[trudytru]

Thank you I forgot to say thankyou Tim for these videos helping me so so much. My mum is also working with me on this as a pastor now. We spent decades not talking to each other but my diagnosis meant I connected with her and she has grown and learnt so much she isn't the same mum so it's very handy to be able to talk over my childhood and get some needs now met and im working hard on rest

[shariash]

Thanks so much for all this information

[sarahalderman]

Ugh… why do these video’s ALL sound like a description of my entire life, childhood, marriage, and inner life?🤦🏼‍♀️

[jcat]

OMG Tim you Rock! Thank you for what you do. Never heard the breakdown. Makes so much sense! Bite your 👅