'Is My Marriage Over?' 5 Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed

"Is My Marriage Over?" 5 Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed
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What’s up ladies and gentlemen, I’m Brad Browning and you’re watching my latest and greatest relationship advice video…. And this particular video is going to be one that’s specifically for anyone who is worried that their marriage is on the brink of collapse. If you’re worried about divorce, if you’re wondering whether your marriage is doomed, or if you want to know whether there’s still hope to turn things around before it’s too late… well, keep watching!

OK, now, let’s dive into the 5 signs of an impending divorce….

The first sign of trouble in a marriage is CRITICISM or COMPLAINING. Essentially, this refers to situations where one partner gets upset at the actions or behaviour of their spouse, and places the blame on them or their personality. For instance, let’s say you aren’t really the type to help out much with housework, and rarely clean up the kitchen after dinner…. If your spouse responded by saying, “You never help with the dishes. You’re such a lazy slob,” then that would the type of criticism that often indicates an unhealthy marriage.

Secondly, and this one often goes hand in hand with criticism, sign #2 is DEFENSIVENESS. So if we stick with the example I just mentioned, where your spouse calls you a “lazy slob,” a defensive reaction would be if you said in response, “Give me a break, you’re such a mess in the kitchen.. If I cooked dinner there would barely be any dishes at all.” In other words, defensiveness is when one spouse responds to their partner’s critical remarks by turning things around and attempting to shift the blame back on their partner.

Sign #3 that a marriage is heading for divorce is CONTEMPT. Now the word “contempt” can mean a lot of things, but in this case it’s basically any time one partner has a negative opinion of their spouse, and believes themselves to be superior… so, for instance, statements like “you’re a moron” or “you’re just clueless aren’t you” are both good examples of this sort of toxic contempt. In fact, this is actually what researchers believe to be the single biggest predictor of divorce… so, this is one that you really want to address immediately if it becomes an issue in your marriage.

And lastly, sign #4 is pretty straightforward… it’s EMOTIONAL WITHDRAWAL or “stonewalling”. In other words, if your partner simply becomes distant and doesn’t really appear to be listening or taking in what you’re saying when you try to bring up a point of contention or a complaint. This is often associated with men, and studies have shown that around 85% of the time it’s the male partner who is guilty of emotionally withdrawing. Sometimes this is because men are unwilling to confront problems or accept their partner’s criticism, and sometimes more a result of his wife having unfair or unreasonable expectations or bringing up the topic in a “nagging” sort of way. Regardless, whether it’s the man or woman who is doing the stonewalling, it’s bad news for a the future of any marriage when it happens regularly.

An unhealthy marriage, on the other hand, tends to have a lot more of those “negative” encounters for every “positive” interaction. Basically, if you and your spouse get along and enjoy one another’s company the vast majority of the time… and you only argue or get upset at one another once in a while, then your marriage has a healthy ratio of positive to negative encounters.

Unfortunately, for a lot of you watching this right now, your ratio is probably far lower than that ideal 5:1 ratio that researchers have found to be the magic number for the typical happy marriage. Relax, though… don’t panic quite yet, folks, even if you recognized all 5 of these signs in your own marriage. For most of you, you could very well be able to avoid divorce and dramatically improve the dynamics of your marriage before it’s too late.

I sincerely hope that this video is going to help some of you save your marriage while you still can… it’s a tough situation to be in, so I sympathize with anyone who is facing a marriage on the brink. If you have a quick question or feedback, leave a comment below and I’ll get back to you…. But, that’s it for now, see you in the next video!

[TheJennyg]

Every sing one is definitely in our marriage... 26 years . It’s bad and I don’t see us making it till spring

[dianedong]

When you feel more relaxed and happy when your "significant other" is not around, it's a pretty good sign that divorce is on the agenda.

[BornByMoonlight]

19 years in & idk wtf I'm doing. On YouTube trying to figure it out.

[helenatroy]

You forgot about one partner wanting sexual intimacy and the other not. I'm surprised the academics missed that

[hismajesty]

I guess my marriage was over the day of the wedding..

[dani]

Respect and appreciation is what we all need and we should never settle if it's not there.

[tigistwoldeyesus]

My marriage is going over. i have not enjoy it throughout the past 5 years.its soooo bad
only staying for my kid. i believe one day i move out May God help me

[a_roseyfish]

Never been more happy to divorce my spouse! 6 years down the drain.

[lizar]

I have been with my husband for almost 20 yrs, I always thought we were so different in the way we act and think and successfully pushed them thoughts aside, now like everything else in life they are coming out to surface and here i am watching these type of videos. I'm affraid to be alone though and hurting our children.

[heidilynne]

My husband of 30 yrs cuts me down, critizes constantly, it's always his way, if I make plans they have work out perfect including where there is parking, doesn't show affection.. Here's me.. Depressed and told I need to figure out myself.

[dwightsperspective]

Getting married was the stupidest thing I've ever done.

[cheapconstructioncc]

Divorce is the best way to end an argument with your spouse 😂😂😂😂. That's what I what I did, I won.
Unfortunately we got married again so jokes on me.

[rg]

I am only sticking it out, for the children. Once the 18 birthday comes, I'm gone!
To freakin tired

[M.Mindset]

I knew my marriage wouldn’t last before I got married. Yet I did it anyway. 4yrs later and I’m beginning a divorce. Every single one of these descriptions is my marriage to the T.

[cheatsarelife]

I’ve wasted 12yrs of my life me & my wife desperately need a divorce every interaction we have always ends up in a shouting match

[lfilim]

Been in a crap marriage for 9 years. I feel stuck because I can't afford to divorce and we have two boys. It would completely shatter my 7 year old if we got divorced😩 His parents have hated me from the start. Every thing that he does irritates me. It could be breathing for goodness sake. I don't want to come on here and call him out on all of his wrong doings because I am flawed too. But I just want out...

[tengyal]

After 4 years of long distance relationship, got married in 2018 and started living together things went south from there on, now every conversation we make turns into argument. We are at a point where we can’t even look at each other’s face without feeling disgusted. Can’t even bear each other’s presence. Every time I try to make it work it wouldn’t even last a day and then for weeks we wouldn’t talk to each other. I can literally count the number of words we exchange in a year. There is not a day where I didn’t think of divorce. Every time I plan to file for divorce I feel bad for her and feel guilty, coz its me who wants it not her. I worry if she will be okey after divorce. I don’t want know what to do?

[karinak]

I feel like all marriages may have all of these points at some point, isnt that why people say marriage is hard because it requires alot of work? Your marriage is only doomed if the couple isnt willing to put the work in.

[Julio]

Not even married, I think it’s over before it started for me 😂

[ahmarri]

22 years and we check ALL 5!!! WATCHING VIDEOS LIKE THIS IS A HUGE VALIDATION😒💯