The best thing for mental health? I ignored it. Here's what happened.

During what was supposed to be one of the happiest times in my life, I became depressed. Then I tried to hide it from my best friend and wife. Here's how I got out of that mess.

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If you or someone you know needs help immediately, you should take one of the following actions:
- go to your nearest hospital emergency room

For information purposes only. Does not constitute clinical advice. Consult your local medical authority for advice. The information in this video was accurate as of the upload date, May 17 2023.

[kristinotten]

This is also how I experienced postpartum depression - rage, exhaustion, and a deep need for connection while also isolating. Thanks for sharing this! I wish that parents shared more of this stuff so that it could be normalized. ❤

[Rosey]

I feel like that I don’t want to reach out for help, because so many people around me also are going through their stuff. It’s hard to find the balance of getting what you need/want, without being a burden to someone else, or feeling selfish about it. Thank you for sharing this. It hit on a lot of levels.

[trinityjohnson]

I’m trying not to cry. I just heard about/watched you on Dr. Mike. You are literally voicing a lot of what I’ve been dealing with my whole life and right now. I am not in a good place emotionally but watching these videos are truly helping me get more outside perspective because in my head, everything is jumbled up and clouded. Thank you so much for the content.

[IAmSweetPea]

I was “with” you during the time you were pulling away from YouTube. I tried to make sure I posted comments asking you to stick around. I’m so happy you did. Thank you for all you share with us. Many blessings

[FaithfulandTrue]

That Safe friend is hard to find. I don't want my life distress being used as gossip currency, so the "helpers" can be praised by everyone and their uncle! A confidante needs confidentiality, the tongue can start a fire and not everyone who hears that news has good intentions.

[erikavaleries]

RELATE. This is so me. I feel like a burden who can't reciprocate or be the ideal friend I want to be. I always feel I'm struggling too much to reach out. Thank you for sharing

[meenakshi]

Very kind of you to share your experience and also your wife's and best friend's perspective on it. Thanks

[juliejuju]

What an honest human emotive video! Thank you for sharing. The end was touching💕

[aliciawang]

Thanks for sharing!! Goes to show that no one is immune to mental health problems. Ur story is going to help a lot of people! Best of luck to you and your wife!

[linamarie]

I don't ask for help because my friends KNOW who I was before. They have SEEN what I've become. They KNOW I need help and they tell me "one day you'll get it"

I don't want to be around them. We only have ONE life. If I had the opportunity to save my friends life, I would DO whatever I could.

It makes me so sad that I don't want to be around them at all.

[ChapatiLover]

oh man I was moved to tears by the end of this. thank u dr mattu for sharing your story, sharing your vulnerabilities and sharing your beautiful loved ones. you are truly blessed for the friendship you have mashallah. bless you and your family

[PrivatePracticeSkills]

Amazing! 👏 Not only is it incredibly powerful for folks to hear your story, but I find it so valuable to hear a fellow therapist sharing how we experience mental health fluctuations just like everyone else. Such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing, and to your wife and best friend as well. (sidebar: I'm fully aware I'm months late in sending you an email. Life! I still have it on my to-do list 🙃)

[theresa]

Thanks for sharing your story, your vulnerability. I am not a parent, but it helps me understand others. I know so many parents who feel the same; they need to hear this too.

[AbantiTagore]

This was such a fantastic episode and video! I’ve always admired how incredibly vulnerable and honest you are with your audience and how beautifully you’re able to articulate your thoughts and experiences into an intriguing narrative. As a fellow psychologist, it’s really inspiring to see and hear. Great work, Dr. Mattu I’m looking forward to more of these to come!

[nora-.-g]

A very important video! Thank you for sharing.

[sampritibhattacharya]

Hi Sir
Could you please make a video on how to cope up with loneliness and attachment issues, for someone who had emotionally unavailable and abusive parents as a child?
This would really be helpful for a lot of us.
Thanks a lot for producing such good content.
Take care

[bythebeardofmatt]

Thank you so much for this. Your bravery and the support from your loved ones and the transparency is so impactful, inspiring and comforting.

[misere]

Interesting story doc, definitely depression involved, but a message i'm getting is that there was a lot of anxiety. Sounds like intrusive negative thoughts were racing through your head, slowly conditioning your subconscious into an state of helplessness, it also lead to indifference and emotional bluntness, expressions of anger as a way to cope with the fear and irrational problems, and as a result you also adopted the avoidant-dismissive attachment style, another cause for it could be the guilt you felt led to you not wanting to be a burden on anyone around you, you isolated your emotions, thoughts and perception into yourself, closing of from the rest of the world. Self-doubt and self-criticism kicked in, questioning how you feel about others and they about you, low key insecurity. This is just a raw summary of what I'm understanding from your words, of course I might be mega wrong and off point.

In my experience also, support from the people around you, family, friends, and similar is very important, I'd say even critical, because it will keep your head "above the surface". Without them "drowning" advances very fast and in the worst case scenario leads to suicide. They will find ways to help you, they care about you and are usually the first ones to notice that something is not right, by that I mean notice even before you yourself surface the problem. Being surrounded by good and smart people is important, since there is cases where the depressed person is labeled as crazy, lazy, useless, sometimes friends try to help by getting you out, but it can end up triggering negative thoughts if it's not a place or environment that's in your comfort zone. In my opinion the worst thing one could doing self-help without the guidance of others, why, in case of failure of the attempt to get better you will relapse badly and it's going to get you even more depressed, blaming yourself for being a failure. So guidance and care for others, openness for outside help and to different methods is key in healing, talking is a good way to temporary alleviate the condition. The people around me are the reason I didn't do the act of taking my own life and I'm forever grateful for having them. Still under depression for 10 years now, but it's controlled, I suspect it's a symptom of hormonal disbalance and am working on it right now.

I'm glad you're doing better, I wish you good health and fortune doc!

[wali]

We truly appreciate all your references you have made to the DSM. Every single one of them that you have made. It makes it seem like you are not using your personal opinions and experiences.

[anacampa]

Thank you for sharing 🙏🏼 your story.. accepting help is essential.. precious baby