ALEXITHYMIA

ALEXITHYMIA: is a little-known condition that affects 1 in 10 Americans and is often called “emotional blindness” and those affected are often called “human robots.” People with alexithymia have trouble identifying and describing their feelings and emotions. As a result, they may falter in their careers, report more physical illnesses, have trouble working through relationship difficulties, and can be left feeling isolated and alone. In this video I review the concept of alexithymia, who tends to be affected by it, and what someone with the condition can do about it.

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[romywilliamson]

People with Alexithymia do feel emotions but just find it hard to describe and identify them. Which makes relationships very confusing!

[valhalla]

Doctor: "You might want to try to just name your feelings."
Me: I. Don't. Understand.

[goatsandroses]

Okay, I'm not officially diagnosed with alexithymia, but let me explain this as best I can. Imagine your emotions are on the opposite side of a thick wall from your conscious/logical/verbal self. There are holes through which you can reach through the wall, but you can't "see" what's on the other side. Wearing gloves (metaphorically speaking), you can reach through the wall and handle the amorphous, ineffable shapes that are your emotions. Imagine handling something you've never seen before, and trying to name it. That's what this is like. It's not a matter of not having words; I have plenty of words, but the verbal does NOT connect with what I'm experiencing. Although I can identify some emotions, many others simply present as a vague sense of unease or a quiet nagging or they don't register at the conscious level at all. Identifying what's going on takes real effort, quiet, and time. For me, prayer/mediation, art, and especially writing have been invaluable. Sometimes things will come out in writing or art (symbolically) that really shed light on things. Anyway, that's my experience, because I feel that subjects like this need to be brought into the public consciousness. Your mileage may vary.

[ramakrishnareddypatel]

I am feeling at last someone knows what exactly is happening with me

[nalaa]

The thing is I'm looking like a normal human and I'm acting like it. Because I got it at 14 I know how emotions and feelings work. I can distinguish when someone is mad, sad, happy etc. but I can't feel them. Sometimes I can't understand why someone is feeling so strongly about smth and I come off as heartless and like an ice queen. My body just reacts to certain situations like when somebody cries I can cry too but do I feel sad? Nahh...unfortunately.

[johnking]

A lot of this describes me pretty well. I don't think I have severe alexithymia but definitely to a degree. It has affected my dating life and relationships in particular and probably my career as well. I'm 39 now and found out at 30 that I'm on the autism spectrum.

[Stormelaine]

Through counseling we’ve determined my husband has Alexithymia. Explains so much. I finally feel validated. Now I’m just trying to educate myself on it

[karbear]

The dream segment was interesting. I believe I have some amount of alexithymia and ASD, and possibly ADHD but in any case, my dreams are very vibrant and fantastical. In fact, most of my dreams that may seem scary or nightmarish just make me feel pensive most of the time.

Do most people actually feel a certain way every moment of the day? Like, I just feel neutral most of the time. I can identify anxiety by a sour feeling in my stomach, and fear by a tingling in my jaw and stomach, but if someone asked me how I feel at any given moment, more often than not I wouldnt be able to give an answer.

[andrewparry]

When I don't deal with my emotions, they sure as fuck deal with me!

[panopticseeker]

Thank you Dr. Greg, very well said, sir. However, I feel your close but no cigar ! As with anyone I've heard speaking in this subject, your all assuming that everyone must have emotions. To think otherwise is inconsievable. There are those of us that for whatever reason do not. No love no hate, just nueteral. Once a person is gone, outa sight outa mind. No missing them . No heartbreak when the grand / parents die. No tears. No intense heart felt bond with a newborn child. I can identify my emotions...non- existent. Intellectually I know what an emotion is and when it will come about in any given situation. I know the importance of emotions in a person's wellbeing. I also know what empathy is and when that should be applied. But knowing and the actual feeling of them are two different things. People do notice however, I can attest to that. No matter how well one might mimic true human emotions, I misque to often to go unnoticed. The cost is that I have been alone my whole life. I belong to no familial unit's because I'm not connected in any meaningful way. I don't miss them , I don't think to call them. I don't reach out to make friends or bother to put forth any effort to keep any around. Seeing or hearing things that would horrify most people, I feel nothing about. If I could change anything in my life, that would be it. I want to be a normal person. To feel something in my heart . I hear people say they wish they didn't have any emotions and let me tell you, 5 minutes of that and you'll change your mind. I hope someone will research this topic, fund others and figure it out. I'll 60 years old and it's to late for me, but finding the answer could help the younger ones.

[thecreativemastermin]

You discussed causes and solutions to Alexithymia very well.

[rivkavermeij]

I found an app that helps with identifying feelings: Animi. It uses bodily sensation etc for example to identify which emotion you're feeling.

[TMMT]

I wonder if alexithymia if affecting me. Emotional awareness is an issue for me. I tend to say that I do or don’t know the feeling I feel. If the feeling I feel is identified the issue is the depth is difficult identifying. It’s as if I’m aware I’m stressed and still unable to see the severity of the stress in that situation. It seems I’m stressed and it isn’t as serious to me. Once I’m out of a specific situation, I tend to see that the stress was more serious than I thought if Im explaining the experience to an individual. If I’m stressed it is challenging trying to express emotions if I feel overlooked or unheard I tend to shutdown. I was conditioned as a child to care for everybody else first. I feel for others over myself. If they’re ok then I’m ok. If I’m making try to make decisions on my own it’s as if others input means more to me. Additionally, as a child I was informed over and over everything I experience couldn’t compare to what they went through so I think it started making me doubt everything due to them downplaying it. So I’d say if I don’t know the feelings I feel or depth of it, it’s a possibility the problem is my feelings always felt shutout so I shutdown. When I went through a breakdown that basically made me see this.

[TheNurseWhoLovedMe]

I’m finding this video years after it was made, but just in case anyone else finds themselves here too - There’s a book I’ve found incredibly helpful for learning to identify and understand my emotions. “Atlas of the Heart” by Brené Brown. I highly recommend it 🙏🏻💖✨

[Kotifilosofi]

Every professional who talks about alexithymia says that _everyone_ has emotions but some people just can't connect with theirs. But I feel very sceptical about that. I just literally feel like I don't experience the psychological end product of "emotions", I just have the physiological responses of my body. For example, I might feel distressed, cry or laugh, but it doesn't feel like I could reliably name even the most obvious of them, like being scared, sad or happy. You see, being distressed could also mean I'm positively excited, I could cry for numerous of reasons, sadness, envy, disappointment, and I could laugh to fit socially in, for being surprised etc. I just simply feel like I don't have the emotions to begin with, and trying to name my bodily responses by the names of feelings is just an endless guess game to me.

[MattHelmSA]

Diagnosed.. I don't feel them so therefore I don't care about others feelings or emotions.. I don't go out of my way to be mean or hateful and I definitely do not hurt anyone physically but I just do not understand why people cry over anything.. if I see someone displaying any type of emotion it irritates me to the point of wanting to leave their presence immediately... The only problem I have with the diagnosis is I'm not having the emotions to be aware of them.

[angelofhell]

Hey doc
I wanna ask, I have the disorders that you mentioned but I live in a community don't believe in therapy and mental helth doctors so my parents didn't allow me to see a therapist but I didn't give up and start to change the way I think and replaced all the negative thoughts with positive I stopped complaining and blame myself and just accept it but there is one proplem as you I can't connect with my emotions and I am in my last year in school and I can't study I really tried everything but there isn't any reason that motivate me and my family complain all the time about this I swear I have tried every possible way but still I couldn't study and with all the progress that I have make I don't see that I am going to be better anymore I am not sad, angry, bored or happy I'm just don't have a reason to live or to move me from inside I am 18 but I really like death and I want to as soon as possible I'm not giving up but I swear no one is care about me and I accept it but they

[sharwarigangawate]

Ahhh is it possible like you can't perticularly understand emotions cuz i always feel i actually don't feel anything like i mean specially toward u know fellings no matter what i try it still seems black and empty it's so confusing at some point i couldn't tell what exactly i feel like it's frustrating...

[divyanshugautam]

Doctor I really need your help
I got alexithymia due lots of stress
Will I overcome it in future.

[joeytan]

I cannot seem to feel emotions, except for anger rather than not being able to identify them. I come with low empathy as well. For years i thought i might be on the spectrum (sensory sensitivity, lack of empathy, obsessive etc) but it is only when i got into a stable relationship this year that i realise i cannot feel love or that i miss the person at all. It is hard to connect with my feelings when i don't feel anything much.