What is Alexithymia and Why You Should Care? - Dr. Jim Collins

I recently came across a disorder that I haven’t heard of before, and I thought I knew them all. It’s called “alexithymia” and people who have it have difficulty identifying or describing their emotions. It’s difficult to determine how many people might have it due to a lack of clear diagnostic criteria. While there are no known causes of alexithymia, research shows a strong relationship between it and aggression, depression and suicide.



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Dr. Jim Collins is a Gerontologist and nationally-recognized expert in wellness and health care for seniors and older Americans. Over his 30-year career Dr. Collins has always had a strong focus on education – both as a prolific speaker, author of published articles, newsletters and the first book about person-centered care for seniors entitled "The Person-Centered Way: Revolutionizing Quality of Life in Long Term Care".

Dr. Collins decided to take his passion for speaking and teaching to a national audience through his company CEU Academy, an online provider of continuing education for licensed healthcare professionals. With its extensive and ever-developing library, Dr. Collins and his dedicated staff bring impactful and timely information to tens of thousands of healthcare professionals in states throughout the country with this online system.

[AmbivalentAlexthymic]

The are two types of Alexithymia. Trait (Inborn) & State ( Caused by trauma aka ptsd etc).

[msalantis]

I’m married to an “Alex” and it’s absolutely difficult…. I wish there was a cure! 😢

[lisapteri]

I know I have alexithymia. When asked how I am I have always said fine, but in the past year I've been reading about emotions and paying more attention to peoples faces when they talk and it has helped me a great deal. I still don't get it but those bodily sensations are no longer scary and my anxiety is almost nonexistent (I used to wonder if I was dying several times a year). I know happy because I smile instantly, I know confused, anger happens rarely but feels like the back of my head will explode (and I have to think backwards like a detective until I realize what happened, then I laugh now because it's all so ridiculous). I'm not violent but previously I verbally flipped out just trying to maintain my space/distance, pure fight or flight if a person advanced - I can see how some people might attack just to stop the situation in it's tracks. Undiagnosed but quite sure I am also autistic (atypical "for girls") 56f. Going from reactive to proactive and it is wonderful.

[natashagates]

I never know how I feel.
PTSD makes me feel numb and essentially like nothing.

[colleendeis]

I have this. I have enough self awareness to pick up on this. I have said this a million times. “I can talk about anything with anyone but when it comes to emotions, especially my emotions, or how I’m feeling I just draw a blank”. I don’t know why it’s so challenging and near impossible because I am usually good with words. I just don’t know what words to use in place of the feeling. I just draw a big blank. (Now I realize the reason I can’t find the words is because you can’t describe what you can not identify) Also, I might be able to realize I’m feeling “off” or not like my usual self. I know something isn’t quite right but I can’t identify what it is I’m experiencing. Am I sad, remorseful, depressed, anxious, lonely, resentful?? What is it Colleen?? I try to think about recent events that could be used as clues. For example, if I had recently went through a breakup I would take that along with other clues to determine the “normal response” or emotion that one would expect a person to feel in order to determine what it could possibly be. It’s a relationship killer for sure.

[ericatabbanor]

This is interesting to me too… I just recently learned of this term and I immediately related to it. I don’t find that I have difficulty describing my emotions because, by the time I’ve determined to talk about my emotions, I have already analyzed and identified them. However, ever since early childhood I’ve had difficulty identifying my emotions. It’s not something that I realized was a difficulty. Instead, I thought that I was just “easily pleased” or “ok with just about anything”. What I didn’t realize is that I didn’t know how to distinguish between when I disliked something and when I liked something— so I assumed that I liked everything. I eventually noticed “symptoms” of emotions that later helped me understand that the feeling I was having was displeasure rather than enjoyment. For example, as a child I thought that I “liked” all foods. I just knew that there were some foods that I wanted to eat before others and I wanted to eat them fast. I eventually realized that I wanted to eat them in that way because I, in fact, did NOT like them and wanted to get past them quickly. I call these types of behaviors my “emotional symptoms”. In my 30’s I still have difficulties identifying my emotions. I make a very clear distinction between my feelings and emotions. The way I see it, emotions are the body’s chemical response to a situation and feelings are the meanings you assign to the chemical responses. This is, of course, the best way that I’ve come up with to process my emotions so far. My current journey is learning what “emotional symptoms” belong to which feelings so I can more seamlessly navigate the emotional nuances of life and relationships.

[WendyJDenver]

I have secondary alexithymia, acquired through childhood emotional abuse. I have an exceptional ability to read peoples energies and know when their emotions change. I just don’t know how to separate their emotions from mine or feel my emotions in the moment. Once I get outside of the situation I can analyze my feelings and allow myself to feel them. But I go numb when I am around other people who are having emotions, likely to protect myself, but the confusion is when I’m not sure if I’m actually just taking on the other person’s feelings. I also struggle to express my feelings verbally if I haven’t sorted through them on my own first. So, in a situation where someone makes me feel bad, and asks me to talk about it, I stumble and cannot grasp how to even go about responding. When I go home, preferably journal about it, I am able to then go back to them and tell them how I felt and what I need from them. To my knowledge I have no other disorders and am an INFJ, so it is really confirming to realize I have alexithymia despite the fact that I do feel deeply and respond well to other’s emotions.

[jjdippel]

If I am asked how I "feel" I panic. I am thinking, 'What am I supposed to say" or "What do they want to hear...."

[valerianroot]

However, alexithymia is NOT classified as a mental health disorder in the DSM-5. It is rather a personal trait/characteristic.

[DAClub-ufbr]

Having Alexithymia is what i imagine having a lobotomy is like. I have medicine that limits my negative emotions so i am not a danger to myself or others. All the emotions we think of as positive either don't exist or are so muted that when i do feel them it is weakly and very briefly. One of the worst parts is it limits you in social situations as empathy is one of those positive emotions. So i not only can't relate to peoples suffering i can't understand their joys either. I can intellectualize what is evolved with these emotions i just can't feel them. Sort of like a Sociopath that feigns sympathy for other because they know it is a social norm.

[bandukleiceste]

Ok so they struggle to explain how they feel but are they aware what they are feeling?

[frankfarmer]

Honestly I don't know if I myself have alexithymia or I'm just indifferent, because I considered feelings and emotions to be a inconvenience and a waste of time.

[markgilbert]

It's not that I don't know how I feel, its that there are so many different reasons to feel a certain way, one specific emotion isn't the right one to describe in words. It is definitley not that we don't feel at all, it's that the words are just hard to conjure up to explain our emotions to someone else.

I would say that my emotional self awareness is great, but being able to describe it without overloading you with the nuance of every thing that relates to the feeling is to much, and the learned trait to just say "fine" is also a thing that goes against us being able to correctly get out what we feel.

We can however express these emotions controlled via art, body language, non verbal means. It felt like there was a quiet a bit of misunderstanding and as an effect may lead to some future admonishment that we don't feel emotions at all.

[somexp]

I think this is pretty common, from what I’ve gathered. Assuming I am right about having it, the video appears to exaggerate how it’d normally appear a little bit. Questions like “how does that make you feel” can be annoying, but I can still say (most of the time) whether the feeling is generally good or bad. Could also guess from the context that generated said feeling whether it was frustration, sadness, joy, or whatever. Just couldn’t label the feeling without reference to the context, and that doesn’t work well in a lot of psychotherapy.

[Plasmafox]

I didn't know I had this until it took a vacation. Suddenly my world was filled with feelings I had never felt before and had no words to describe. Then they were gone again. That is affective alexithymia- what you're describing is cognitive alexithymia, where people have those feelings, but can't decipher them or put names to them.

[edgreen]

Seen it in npd and bpd. They don't know their core values or others core values.

[simplehealthtips]

I felt stigmatized when my phychiatrist told I am depressed and worried which is the reason of my somatoform pain. It's funny how somatoform pain disorder is treated with cbt when it is mostly accompanied with alexythymia.The whole treatment of cbt needs to be reviewed.

[dustbunee]

I think I may also have this, and I've been suspected of being on the autism spectrum, but never formally evaluated or diagnosed. When I was a kid, I was one of those kids who would cry whenever a group of people sang "Happy Birthday" to them, but I couldn't explain why. As an adult, it cost me a serious relationship, because the guy I'd been engaged to would ask me how I felt about our relationship; I'd tell him I didn't know, and he thought I was playing mind games with him, so he broke off our engagement. Now, I'm married to someone who not only understands, but has also found his own ways of dealing with my issue of not being able to express myself.

[frowertrampton]

Came to this channel for topic of Todd n nursing. Thanks for sharing this interesting condition Alexi’.

[Guywithautism-zyyy]

i was introduced to the word Alexithymia like 1 week ago by someone on social media when i posted there.