Dr. Dawn Neumann and the aspects of alexithymia

Dr. Dawn Neumann discusses the variety of aspects of alexithymia and how it affects each individual differently.

This work has been supported by research funds made available by the NIH NICHD STTR (Phase I), grant no. 1R41HD077967-01A1, Indiana University Funding Opportunities for Research Commercialization and Economic Success (FORCES).

National Institute on Disability, Independent Living, and Rehabilitation Research the Indiana Traumatic Brain Injury Model Systems 90DP0036 and 90DRTB0002.

The contents of this video were developed under a grant from the National Institute on Disability, Independent Living, and Rehabilitation Research the Indiana Traumatic Brain Injury Model Systems 90DP0036 and 90DRTB0002. NIDILRR is a Center within the Administration for Community Living (ACL), Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The contents of this video do not necessarily represent the policy of NIDILRR, ACL, HHS, and you should not assume endorsement by the Federal Government.

[zakosist]

I recently learned about alexithymia and questioning if I have it, but mostly about EXPRESSING emotions, rather than understanding it. And also that I often dont feel the right feelings at the right moment eg. when hearing bad/tragic news I may be completely unaffected (still logically recognize its bad), even though I CAN and do feel sympathy sometimes. Or Im not excited enough in the moment something good happens. My feelings rarely are related to the current situation, but much more by my thinking instead. And sometimes I'm just not very receptive to emotions, but it varies. I'm not sure if that is alexithymia.

I relate to the first example. I think I often dont express emotions enough outward, in some cases just naturally lack face expression/tone change while feeling emotions, eg. scared or angry. I may lack a way of showing affection to people that isn't "fixed". And dont like to talk about or be asked about emotions either (particularly when they're in the moment, if its more in general I'm more open to discuss). I can usually identify emotions if they are strong, but cant always tell what I'm feeling here and now

[doid]

Yeah I relate to the last one. I say I feel too much and all at once but I can't figure out what is is and why. I have to look at what made me react and then identify how I feel about it after. And even then, there is a high chance I won't be able to explain it to someone if they asked.

[goatsandroses]

Yep. I don't always "feel" all emotions (I DO feel some emotions) or be able to verbalize them, but they might come out in a tsunami later. Sometimes the wave of emotion happens for no reason...or at least it might take time, quiet, and effort to find the underlying reason. Taking the time to sort through what I'm feeling, and really trying to discover what's "behind the wall" (as I call my emotional disconnect) helps to head off emotional tsunamis.

[akeelaboomful]

I can relate with the last one. But instead of anger I would usually just cry.

[faustinomeza]

I am 43 and never knew what was wrong with me. Until just recently they had me diagnosed as bipolar which never added up until all these little recent discoveries and now me and my wife are learning all about me and my issue. It’s a rough road!

[Jade-dbjx]

This is a lot of harmful misinformation about those with alexithymia.

It is not, typically/almost always anger. Setting that prescedent is dangerous for those with alexithymia that disclose their condition publicly.

Terrible video explanation, endangering a specific group of public with this mischaracterization.

[jackeag]

I might have this but I'm not sure, I don't really feel emotions properly because I shut myself off so I didn't get hurt as a kid from the people who bullied me but I know when I should be feeling certain emotions (like love) but i don't know if it's there

[hetjamesfield]

Just stoped by here to tell you my experience and my research.. Long long research..
My father has it... I was confused my whole childhood why I do not have a father who behaves like other fathers, I was very ashamed of him, VERY ashamed! He did not understand and still does not, the basic things like, when to support some1, when to help, does not have the feeling of responsibility (yet, he is very responsibe + he is a big Ships Commander his whole life), is some1 in pain, etc... He probably can feel a bit, but he does not understaind what he feels neither he cares. And he is a very good man. Ask him anything, he will do it 4 you ALWAYS. People who are evil understood that they can litterally do with him what ever they like, those people were a big part of his life. He still does not understaind that they were all just exploiting him for his money, and when he lost the money, every1 turned theyr back on him, especially when he needed help. And the "best" thing is, he CAN NOT AND IS NOT mad at them, bc he can not be mad at any1 neither understaind... I tryed to explain nzmerous times to him, but, it always ends up in yelling and he getting angry... The next minute he is like nothing happened, litterally laughing on some YT video... He also thinks that it was my responsibility to raise my-self, and still thinks that... And then I found out that his father died when he was 2-3 yrs old. He had noone to teach him human values, you know, "the father-son" stuff, he never went throught that, and bc of thst neither did I. But Im a lot stronger than him in general, and I figured it and got out. I almost ended beeing him. When I see him today, and how easy is everything for him, and not to be able to care for anything, i think he is blessed considering what the World is today and what is turning into... When he sees a mass shooting, it is like a movie for him... He would help people, I know he would, but only if some1 explained to him that some1 is gonna die if he do not react. Beeing without a father and beeing neglected as a child made my father what he/it is today. This is soooo hard to explain, i dont know what im typing any more.... In one sentence: He is a very good unselfish man, smart and kind, but an empty shell.... Completely... At first I taught he was a psycho/sociopath... He is showing A LOT of love to our dog, like A LOT!!!! But still, he would not be able to tell if the dog is suffering, happy, asking him something... I see a strong conection between them (my father and dog), that dog makes him all smiles, but i doubt that he understand what he acctually feels when he is with that dog. Obviously he has his own conclusions what is what.. And he is wrong always when he conclude something where emotions are involved... Maybe he does not feel only humans bc no1 taught him, but he understands animals showing always emotions with them... If that are emotions... Looks like they are genuine with animals. It is a human factor responsible for his condition, it is not genetic. 100% not genetic! And not often but yes, he seeks attention sometimes, but not bad kind of attention like a narcissitic person... It is enough to give him a few seconds of attention when he ask for it, and he is ok. That happens when mostly when I help my mother with something medicaly and he is in the room. Soooo Weird I know i did not explain nothing goo here, but, I know there is no info on this, so Im trying to contribute somehow... Im writing litterally what ever I remember at this moment... If some1 have ANY questions, ask, Im am sure that I can answer you. I know all about this.... sadly...

[kellyjoe]

I wish there was more on the psychological damage it does to a partner who has had a relationship with someone who has this and how you can feel emotionally abused etc. Run for the hills

[FringeWizard]

I am diagnosed with this but never ever express anger no matter how fucked the situation is I remain calm even when being robbed, assaulted, etc.

[deejacks]

Yes but dont get this confused with psychotic depression because I was misdiagnosed with alexithymia due to the fact I go I have flat affect and while I dont have delusions or hallucinations I experience an actual inability to smile and react in the same way I used to before the psychotic break. I'm an extrovert artist and performer at heart which is what's made this so devastating... I am able to recognise my own emotions very clearly and dont have difficulty at all in knowing what I'm feeling.... I went to work as a waitress I was there for 5 months.... one night I hadn't slept the night before.. I went into work and couldn't smile which was very challenging....my colleague pulled me aside and asked what was wrong I couldn't tell her my illness because I knew I'd get the sack so I had to leave after 5 months.. I haven't been back to work since. My mum sees my inability to smile everyday and it's really painful for both concerned because shes perfectly normal and knows what I was like before I got ill. DO NOT EVER confuse the 2.. thnx 4 this video

[ErikaK]

Oooh, I thought it was just me. I always feel like a 3rd person in my own world and have to fake emotions to be normal. I am always either too deep in or too detached. I always have to condition myself to react in a way that I deem socially right.

[jazmo]

I have experienced everything described by Dawn Neumann. Until I discovered I was on the Autism spectrum and started my journey of discovery. I had no idea what was going on emotionally. I would react just like the example angry man but not know why. I would snap at people and get exactly the same response from people... "why are you snapping at me?" It would make me stop because I didn't even realise it! I wouldn't even know what triggered it. For many years most people thought I didn't have any emotions. I got asked to deliver a Eulogy at a funeral because of this perceived lack but I broke down in the middle of it and didn't know why. I still can't tell when I'm doing it.

[Tchaikovsky]

I was never diagnosed, but I think I may have it. Just today I had no idea what I was feeling and I've been so confused all month and suddenly I was extremely angry at myself and I had no idea why.
Just recently after having depression I basically suppressed all emotions for a year so maybe that has to do with it. But I'm not sure and it's really hard.

[Lili-bjjc]

So many times, over the years I'd get the same statement from neuro-typical people: "She could care less if the sky fell", and that's just not true. People would think that nothing phased me, but inside, I just wanted to run and hide. It used to frustrate me, which never showed on the outside because I'd mask to hide it. I hate that statement so much. Between that and not being able to describe things to doctors and them understanding that I'm actually in a lot of physical pain, those are the hardest things for me. People just don't give enough time for an explanation. They just assume the answers before I can build a sentence.

[drumslayer]

I hope this is what I have and it can be reversed. Due to what I'd call psychological torture, along with bad isolation from kind of being exiled. Starting to think it might be my dad that has this, and no idea what I have. Having an extremely hard time feeling things, concentrating, fully feeling emotions like it's just out of reach and that's even disappearing every day, no imagination, social skills are disappearing every day, memory is horrible short term and forgetting old experiences and who I was. Feels like I'm intentionally being made into this, pray this can be reversed, I was a normal above average intelligence functioning person and on top of being way behind in life now all this is looking bad.

[FitnessForLife-GetRipped-cfwb]

I’m not sure about this. People think their emotions out. They apply thought to feelings and label them thus robbing them of their quintessence.
Thoughts corrupt the flow of emotional content and stagnate it’s natural freedom to be…

[arielperez]

Not only do I not sharing how I feel....I literally can't! It is painful. Confusing. But yes painful! My being is unable to give that information. I don't even answer "hey how are you?". I just focus and go on.

That's probably it! Videogames! Me and my brothers all seem to have issues expressing how we TRULY feel and I think playing videogames might have something to do with it. We are bad at sharing emotions but we are REALLY Really good at getting things done. We focus. We don't let emotions interfere in our objective.

Edit: I do feel emotions though and I think I understand them...I just swallow them a lot. Like a snake. I tend to swallow emotions and let them dissolve in my belly somewhere. I rather not let them show though.

[sandyc]

On point! She explained this so well and simply. Thank you.

[nikkinoodlesoup]

I experience all three of these types.
I don’t like to touch people and I don’t really like people to touch me, but I’m working on it with my husband. I love my husband to death but I just can’t get my body to show him. It’s like I can only tell him and do things like cooking dinner and packing his lunches for work. That’s my version of physical touch in a way.
The second one I do without noticing I do it and it’s always anger that comes out. I’ll answer questions with anger when I’m not even genuinely angry. I’m working on that too. My MIL asked me if our recycle bin takes glass bottles and I just snapped and told her to ask Alexa and I yelled out “Hey Siri” instead and it was frustrating but I wasn’t angry. I was trying to answer her question while I was elbow deep in dish water. Definitely need improvement on my delivery.
The third one is anytime I see anything that’s wholesome/family oriented I get overwhelmed and flooded with sadness and I’ll start to cry out of the blue. I don’t need to cry. I don’t want to cry, but it almost physically hurts to stop myself and “suck it back in”. It’s like I can feel the emotion surging through me. It’s always sadness too. This one idk how to work on yet. Any and all suggestions are welcome though.

It’s crazy to me that we moved 2 states away from our families and it didn’t bother me one bit. Moving is supposed to be one of the most stressful things a person can do and I just did it without any stress. I’m actually shocked. I didn’t worry about anything. Nothing phased me about driving 12 hours in one and a half days to fill up a storage unit 2 states away with little to no sleep even though we didn’t have a hotel room booked. Didn’t stress about it at all. I don’t understand me.