CPTSD Injures Your Ability to Form Relationships: Here's What To Do (4 Video Compilation)

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Childhood PTSD is, in essence, an injury to your ability to connect with other people. In this compilation of four of my most popular videos on CPTSD & Loneliness, I teach the reasons why real help is so hard to find for trauma-driven loneliness, and the tendency to isolate as a way to control old triggers. You CAN learn to have close relationships with friends, patterns and others. Learn strategies to break out from the limitations of past trauma and bring more love and meaning into your life through connection.

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[_Lord_of_Misrule_]

I teared up when you said: "You need to be loved. You need to be included." Thank you for this, I needed to hear it.

[jeepnj]

Its wierd to look back at 52 yrs of life and realize youve lived the entire thing in flight mode/bad loneliness. I always wondered why I struggled to be interested in others and unable to remember their life details like others do effortlessly. But this makes sense, a very painful childhood of being neglected/invisible, teen years and young adulthood of rejection/ostracism. You just dont want to try anymore after enough of it. The subconscious flight even while being physically there, its all I know how to do to feel ok around others.

I hope others can find the way while they still can.

[Maidenvoyager]

Other reasons: 1) parents didn't model relationships with each other or others 2) we don't know how to find and form relationships with people who are good for us, so we give up.

[stDoNoHarm]

I can't have my heart broken again. 💔 I just can't. Everything you've stated is true. I get lonely sometimes, and sad, but mostly I've begun to enjoy being alone. I have no one judging me. No one telling me or treating me like I'm "less than". No one can ignore me if I CHOOSE to be alone. Sometimes it hurts that I'm not a part of something but I push that away. Mostly, I choose it before it is chosen for me. Alone. It's safe.

[dameanvil]

00:00 🤔 Trauma survivors often struggle with connecting due to triggers from interacting with others.
01:50 🤝 CPTSD and childhood PTSD significantly contribute to isolation and loneliness, often not openly discussed.
03:01 🛡 Isolation isn't always apparent; some individuals secretly isolate despite being in social settings or relationships.
04:09 🚫 Past neglect or abuse can result in triggered reactions, causing social awkwardness or avoidance.
05:19 🐾 For many, pets offer initial comfort before attempting deeper human connections in healing.
06:12 🧠 Accepting triggers in connections is vital, learning to handlethem reduces the urge to isolate.
07:22 💬 Managing triggers often involves confronting underlying fears gradually through interaction.
08:01 🧠 Childhood trauma can affect brain structure, impacting closeness, attunement, and responses to others.
09:23 🚫 Trauma survivors can struggle with social skills due to lack of guidance or unstable parental figures.
10:18 🚥 Perceptions may be skewed due to past lies or unreliable information, leading to social discomfort.
11:39 ⚠ Trauma can cause tendencies towards anger, blame, or boundary issues, impacting relationships.
13:41 💔 Isolation due to lack of boundaries may safeguard against discomfort but worsens loneliness.
14:22 🤷 Loneliness resulting from trauma wounds affects mental, physical health, and self-defeating behaviors.
15:14 🤝 Healing from trauma involves reconnecting with others; connections aid in the healing process.
16:20 🧠 Rationalizations may hinder reconnecting, preventing the acknowledgment of isolation's impact.
18:13 🔄 Prolonged isolation can impair social skills, leading to difficulties in engaging with others.
19:36 🤔 Isolation intensifies self-centered thinking and reduces emotional and conversational attunement.
21:14 📺 Media consumption during isolation can exacerbate negative perceptions and hinder social re-engagement.
21:27 🌍 Isolating oneself due to trauma can create a perception that everyone and everything is bad, hindering the ability to address actual threats effectively.
22:10 🤝 Lack of empathy or connection while sharing hardships leads to isolation; being in a mental bubble prevents understanding and connection.
23:32 🛠 Healing trauma-induced isolation requires intentional efforts towards self-regulation, recognizing when one is disregulated, and taking proactive measures to re-regulate.
24:58 🚶‍♀ Re-regulation starts from learning to regulate oneself without relying on external validation or responses from others to feel better.
26:21 🔄 Difficulty in forming connections might stem from feeling ostracized, living inauthentically, or lacking inner power to express oneself among specific social circles.
27:28 🏘 Personal experiences of ostracization due to misunderstandings or false perceptions emphasize the significance of genuine connections and finding supportive environments.
33:30 🛣 Isolation tends to perpetuate mistakes and difficulties; embracing connections and self-improvement helps in finding supportive and understanding people.
37:12 🤲 Joining support groups or communities that share the journey of healing from trauma can offer valuable insights and a sense of shared progress.
41:05 🚪 Isolating due to CPTSD triggers can lead to a gradual closing off of life options.
41:48 😔 Feeling uncomfortable with loneliness can motivate reconnection and healing from trauma triggers.
42:30 🚪 Isolation offers instant relief from stress triggered by CPTSD symptoms.
43:11 🙅 Covert avoidance strategies hinder genuine connection, leading to shallow relationships.
44:59 🛀 Isolation might initially feel like self-care but can lead to a sense of dread and disconnection.
46:22 🌟 Interacting with people positively impacts mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
48:01 🤝 Being of service to others aids in personal growth and maturity.
49:11 🎁 Emphasizes the importance of connections for utilizing personal gifts and finding fulfillment.
50:21 🛡 Calming triggers from childhood trauma can alleviate the need for isolation and self-defeating behaviors.
52:00 🧠 Early neglect or abandonment can deeply affect brain development and identity formation.
57:36 🏠 Feeling different or having gaps in personal history due to adoption can impact one's sense of belonging and identity.
01:02:39 🆓 Embrace freedom after divorce and find your passion by experimenting with various interests.
01:03:21 🎨 Pursue creative arts like music, painting, or physical activities like yoga for joy and healing.
01:04:29 🌟 Engage in spiritual practices, join a dynamic community, take classes, or explore volunteering for fulfillment.
01:05:36 🌱 Overcome anxiety by trying things out gradually to discover where you find joy and make a difference in others' lives.
01:06:17 💡 Identify your unique gifts by recognizing how your actions positively impact others, leading to purpose and satisfaction in life.

[dani-jeanstuart]

Please let Cathy know that she is not alone. I'm 64, adopted-twice, first adoptive mother died when I was 18mos and put in foster care with adoptive family. Then adopted by other family at age 5. My adoptive mom was physically and emotionally abusive and also neglectful. I feel like I've never belonged anywhere. I feel like there's no "me" in here. This video is my first step in trying to wade through all the "stuff." I hope Kathy perseveres. ❤

[tonidelisa]

I’ve lived alone out in the woods on the side of a mountain 5 miles outside of town 2 miles off the pavement for the last 12 years. I can go weeks and only talk to the cashier at the grocery store. I spent the last three years trying to cultivate connection with what’s left of my family. This Christmas, I was told under no uncertain terms that no one‘s interested in what I have to say and that when I show up they endure me. Needless to say I’m not going back. I’ve been diagnosed with CPTSD several years ago. After this Christmas experience I believe I’m also somewhere on the spectrum. Those two things overlap and I’m too exhausted to try to figure it out at this point. I think I need to get a dog.

[annedyken]

The story about the cul de sac, those women, oh I felt for you so much. I feel this sort of thing has happened to me again and again and that at 63 I have finally told myself, enough, no more putting myself out there. I will cherish my isolation and pets because it works for me. I can't do it again. Each time I begin a new job I have to go through this again, trying too hard to belong and being rejected again and again. I am okay being isolated. It seems there isn't anyone out there who is a good match for me. But this is just how I feel today.

[libbypaige]

People are triggering. A garden variety conversation can fast feel like an intense interrogation. My armpits become humid, I hear a pulse in my ears, the dizziness sets in. It's a lot to deal with while trying to answer questions and appear to be a sane human.

[brittanyb]

I work in customer service and you see the worst of people getting angry over the most trivial things! I’ve been doing this for almost 8 yrs at my current job and 11 yrs at a previous job. It truly makes you isolate and lose hope in society because people can be so mean!! 😞

[RebeccaRuano]

I created a program for people stuck in the grief of their best friend. My best friend died 21 years ago, unexpectedly, at 22 years old. 16 years later, I finally realized how much I’d isolated myself and have worked my way out. In my process, I help ladies who’ve lost their BFF to move in the grief so they can feel hopeful again, they can make sense of the world, and begin to move forward. This letter is a divine reminder of the need for my journey-work. 😊❤ Thank you!

[uzimachi]

After watching enough videos I conclude I have CPTSD, I have come a long way but Im still struggling with self loathing, self esteem issues, I inherently believe I am unlovable, which I know its not true but it doesn't go away.

My therapist told me to work on my self talk and rephrase "No one loves me" to "Sometimes I feel like no one loves me"

[tanyanelson]

Unfortunately, I have became very isolated, more so every year. The pandemic was terrible, but it also made me love being isolated even more. I am not sure that it is worth it to heal. At least when I am alone, I know where I stand. I don't want to be let down anymore by others. If you don't depend on anyone, you can't be hurt anymore when you can't 🤷‍♀️

[michaelholtzman]

This video is PERFECT, for me right now. I just went to a celebration of Life as support for a friend. I only new 2 people...OH BOY.. the emotional rollercoaster of emotions left me exhausted and I haven't answered a text or call ALL day.

[esperanzamunoz]

Kathy, please know that you, as the rest of us who didn't get what we needed as a child, are important. Build yourself up by doing what makes you feel good now. Better late than never. Take classes at city parks that interest you. Read. Good luck to you😍😘

[deborahseaman]

I LOVE being alone, I am never lonely, I prefer it, people are triggering, for the most part they are ignorant and unkind. I know that I am smarter than most and they hate that so I would rather be by myself!

[maurastmartin]

The more isolated healthcare patients become, the more they have behaviors. Isolation really does affect cognition and emotional regulation.

[RoadRunnergarage]

My hobby of Model Car Building and Collecting brings me a lot of joy...

[idab]

Forcing myself to sit and watch your videos can be so tough but it's so rewarding. Thank you so much for producing free content that is so helpful. I appreciate you.

[poetryjones]

Thank you, Anna. I was just thinking about what a paradise 2020 Covid Quarantine was, for me at least. Your insights here are very helpful. 🌹🙏🏼🌹