These Complex PTSD Symptoms May Be Why You're LOSING FRIENDSHIPS

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If you were abused or neglected in childhood, you’ve had more than your share of ruined friendships. That’s what Complex PTSD does: At its heart, it’s an injury to your ability to connect with other people. You’ve probably been aware a long time that connection is hard for you. This is a terrible way to go through life, robbed of the the most important things that make life happy -- love, belonging, a tribe. But connection wounds don't tend to get better by themselves. Now is the time to heal.
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[AsAmsterdam]

For real: these videos have made it possible for me to understand myself so much better. Every time I see one, I learn something about myself.

Thank you for your hard work!

[billiejobuckman]

Way we push people away
1- Lashing out
2- Concern or judgemental
3- Shutting people out
4- Drama & Overwhelm
5- Too many rules
Ways to Stop pushing people away
1- Calm your triggers inside not making others do it. Put time between your trigger & reaction.
2- Put criticism on paper. Own your mistakes say sorry not make excuses.

[LH-root]

It's not losing friends that's the problem....it's making friends in the first place that is so hard.

[inside]

For me, maintaining friendships have been the hardest part throughout my life. I usually isolate myself from friends and never initiate anything with them, so these friendships naturally tend to fade away. It sucks because I want to do stuff with them, talk to them etc., but I feel like I've never connected to anyone on a deep level my whole life. So I just isolate myself even more and keep hoping that someday I meet someone I can connect with...

[fiery_aries]

I struggeled with this all my life, it's even harder to make friends as an adult. i have such strong reactions to everything, i feel things so deeply, it's hard but i hope one day we will all be healed.

[Catbooks]

Does anyone else here go into freeze instead of fight? That's my problem. I really don't lash out. I wasn't allowed to have or express anger when I was a child, so I learned to suppress it, until finally I can't hold it in anymore. I used to call this having a long fuse, but I still have those disregulated emotions going on in those moments. I suppose that is a form of lashing out but it's more like resentments building, some overlooking red flags, not knowing how to talk about the problems (and feeling like I won't be heard, or will be gaslighted, which has happened), until I'm done with the friendship and have nothing to lose because I want out.

Anyone else experience it like this?

[DrWelp]

This vlog made me so sad. I’m in my mid-50s and have never been able to make strong connections with people. I spend nearly all my time alone. I just can’t handle close relationships. I’m not a person who rages ... I run/leave/lock myself away. Anyway, thank you for this vlog.

[aprilrochellebryant]

As a person with CPTSD, my biggest epiphany was to speak less & observe way more. So many triggers can be set unknowingly in a random convo-rushing to protect your feelings and not thinking thru your own words can easily ruin any type of relationship. It's the acknowledgement about yourself that you are easily triggered, and you tend to misunderstand others.

[danielc]

All my friendships are/were always one-sided, I'm the one who actively tried to initiate contact, but never the other way around. When you've been burned as much as I have by other people, you lose trust in people. For me, if a friendship isn't 50/50 give and take, it gets classified as an acquaintance. And, I have a "take it or leave it" attitude with these types of relationships.

[jayjacqueline]

I have always thought I was alone in this or rare. I didn't realize so many of us are struggling with CPTSD and friendships.

[silentfriend]

Most my friendships were codependent or toxic. The good friendships, I ruined. But there weren't many... thankfully I'm finally learning from my mistakes.

[instanta]

Why are you the only person who talks, unveils and unpacks these life long riddles and happiness blockers...? you speak about it in such clear and simple ways and I'm just puzzled how I haven't heard any of the 'professionals' do it - ever. Thank you is all I can say...

[Iquey]

The panic that sets in is part of remembering being a child, when someone rages at you, without good reason, there is nothing you can do to mitigate it, rationally speaking. You have to remind yourself not everyone who gets upset with you isn't intending to always attack you until you've been totally destroyed. Some disagreements are not dire. Just normal disagreements. It's hard to figure this out or believe this because everything you've been taught characterizes the world so intensely. There's always a hidden agenda lurking behind every move or change in ppl's behaviour towards you, but not really. It's hard but doable.

[karenlm]

What troubles me in having cptsd is dealing with overbearing, pushy, controlling, angry, and jealous people. Its not always the case I'm the only person in the situation with poor coping. I don't know how to respond to toxic and negative behavior without making it a bigger mess.

[monkeydevinebb]

And here I was thinking I was a covert narcissist, when in reality I was just raised by one, and that trauma led me to develop narcissistic coping mechanisms.

[Bopomama]

I have put up with so much abuse in friendships because I was terrified of abandonment. I'm now 40 and grieving for my younger self and all the woeful people and situations I endured.

[kimlec]

People often get overwhelmed when trying to explain what they went through. Then they get labelled with schizophrenia or bi polar, when really it's complex ( multiple types) of trauma. Narrative incoherence is often cited as a reason for diagnosis. This traumatises the person yet again & just adds to complexity, which is just unhelpful.

[KLewis-jgfk]

My wife is a "Victim of CPTSD", I, her husband, our relationship, our marriage all are too. Thank so much for your time and efforts! You are truly a God send. With your efforts I finally have a grateful understanding of what truly is going on with this pernicious disease and how to deal with. Grateful and dedicated follower. GOD BLESS YOU!

[robindonnelly]

Full acceptance of others, reasoning yourself out of your triggers, having no expectations or rules for others makes you a doormat. Once I learned about the narcissistic dynamic at play in my life with friends and family, and started having boundaries about what I would and would not accept, people either disappeared from my life, or I cut them off. I’ve had C/PTSD since age seven and have used more reasoning and excuses with others than should be reasonably expected. I’ve worked my entire life to not make a big deal out of my pain. All it did was invite more abuse and make me sicker. Not everyone needs friends. I’m much healthier and happier without them.

[morganalexis]

I feel so regulated listening to this. It's like I feel myself clearly when I hear these videos lately. And the most connected to myself. Thank you